The Perplexing Chaperone


Carrot pickles. Not a photographer.

School dance night. Bigfoot + spouse out w. friend for shrubs and carrot pickles. Check Share. BG 175-ish. All’s well. Isn’t this so great that we can do this?! (Clink!)

Meanwhile…@dance, in snack line. This conversation.

Unknown adult/chaperone: What’s your blood glucose?

BUBS: (Checks Dexcom. No guile.) It’s 191.

UAC: That’s too high.

BUBS: (Buying Halloween-size candy bars.) It’s okay. I already took insulin.

UAC: You shouldn’t eat that.

BUBS: Sorry, I have to eat it because I already took insulin.

UAC: You still shouldn’t eat that. It has too much sugar.

Eats candy. Dance, carry on, etc. Call for ride home. (79 mg/dL, FWIW.) Reports dance fun, except for chaperone.

Bigfoot (in head only) = Chaperone, don’t butt in! Let him be at a dance! If he listened to your advice he would have passed out in front of all of his classmates! Geeeeeze! Leave him alone!

But what if slumped over, no friend nearby. Would want chaperone investigate, maybe encourage juice.

What if seizure. Would want chaperone call ambulance.

Also what if cut on leg? Want band-aid. Gah.

Try think: what possible say, instructive/not dickish? How prevent future chaperone interfere/endanger? Realize: can’t predict thoughts of/control actions of chaperone. Out in public, randos likely interfere. Can’t prevent. Randos everywhere.

Only course = prepare child for randos.

Told Bubs, stranger asks BG, possible responses:

  • I’m sorry. I don’t know you, and that’s personal.
  • I’m fine, and I have everything I need.
  • I think it would be impolite to discuss that here.
  • If I need help, maybe I could ask you for it someday, once I know who you are.
  • ((crickets))





Bigfoot say other thing

Oops. Bigfoot delete Facebook page. Try this again.

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