Earth-shattering Beans



all you need is water, garlic, an onion of some kind, and cilantro

We love our friend Fritz’s beans. He gave us the secrets to making them so great: boil the shit out of the beans and add olive oil. I have updated the original method. This is a big deal because you don’t have to wash a cutting board or do any pesky chopping.



First, make a greens-alliums-water smoothie: a half or whole bunch of cilantro (set aside some leaves for garnish/guacamole), a few (three, four) cloves of  peeled garlic, a peeled, quartered yellow onion, today I threw in a few sprigs of parsley that were on the windowsill, and water. Blend it all up.


(furious boiling)

Put a pound of dry black beans in a big pot. Pour on the fragrant green water. Add 1T ground cumin. Add another blenderful of water. Bring this to a boil. Boil the shit out of the beans, adding more water prn. Once the beans are soft (timing varies, plan on an entire day and be pleasantly surprised when they’re done after an hour), add salt, lime juice, more cumin, Bragg’s liquid aminos, black pepper, whatever to taste. Swirl in some olive oil.

Eat the beans with guacamole, romaine, scrambled eggs, sweet potatoes, tortillas, rice, tortilla chips, cheese, sour cream, salsa, and whatever else you like.

That’s it.

The carbs are normal bean carbs: 14g per half cup.


eggplant book

I love this book.

If you don’t have time to make Fritz’s beans, remember the Gwyneth Paltrow speed beans. It’s a can of black beans heated up (keep the glop right in there, do not drain or rinse) with garlicky olive oil.

jj bean 2All this bean talk reminded me of Jeremy Jackson’s Beans and Me essay from the Eggplant book, so I reread it. It’s the Paltrow beans! My mind is blown.





  1. G · March 15, 2017

    which came first the GP or the JJ?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skchrisman · March 17, 2017

    I am looking lustily at the black beans in my homemade hand PT bucket. (Hard beans in deep bucket, plunge hand in and for 5 minutes do hand/wrist calisthenics.) What would the harm be in later recycling them in this recipe? Too gross? Not at all gross? Clean hands…furious boil? I need to know because – omg, yummy.


Please say things:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s