Children grow. This week, the slender twelve-year-old here could not button any of his pants, and in terms of getting dressed, we were down to two pairs of too-short sweatpants and some shorts.
So this week, I’ve spent hunks of each day seeking, purchasing, goading a person to try on, and then returning boys’ pants. I purchased many styles and shapes of size 14 pants and jeans. None fit. Size 14 for a twelve year old. (Are they now making boys’ sizes with an inverted women’s skew? Skewed to make the boy feel bigger than he is?) Crew Cuts told me maybe, but no. And that there is no such thing as a sixteen. Gap Kids told me there are sixteens and eighteens online, but these are, generally speaking, for the husky.
The Gap Kids saleswoman asked me, “Has he tried our men’s pants?”
BOOM. My baby is a man. Man-sized, anyway. A tiny man. And he fits perfectly into “skinny” cut man pants, size 28 x 30.
I took this as a clue to not say things to strangers about him, personally, any more. Things like why fake out (saying 122 mg/dL, when you were clearly 300+) the school nurse (you adore her!) and bolus for lunch without testing (and 122 is such a fake number), and not even correcting for the high Dexcom was displaying, which you would have known without even testing and I mean it takes zero effort and WTH? And how Dad called me (while I was in J. Crew, looking for pants!) to ask me if I’d noticed on the Share that you’d been 300+ for a while and should we call or text you to make sure you’d corrected or at least noticed, and we agreed it would be more damaging to you to have parents who ask you diabetes questions all day than to have your capillaries scritched up from extra glucose for a few hours. But then I texted you anyway, because I think you and I had agreed I’d do that or you’d text me whenever you noticed and corrected a super-high and if you didn’t contact me, that meant you hadn’t noticed…and you said, and I said, and you said…anyway, I’m going to keep all of that to myself, Man Pants.
To recover from all of the growing and lying, I made myself breakfast. I would like to remember this breakfast, so I’m putting notes here. This would be good with mushrooms or spinach or roasted squash or any kind of bits of leftover vegetables you (I) have in the future.
Baked Eggs With Whatever Looks Good
Oven 400F. Butter four 1-cup ramekins. Beat five eggs with 1/3 cup whole milk, a pinch of salt, and a few grinds of pepper. Take one leftover strip of already-cooked bacon and chop it up. Heat it in a pan and cook a minced shallot in it. (Or cook a shallot in butter or olive oil.) Add two small heaps of chopped greens or whatever vegetable you like. Cook until wilted. Divide the cooked baco-veg among the ramekins, about 1/4 cup per ramekin. Sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on top. Ladle the egg mixture over the top. Sprinkle with a tiny bit more cheese. Bake for 15 minutes, or until set and beginning to turn golden brown. I used wide, shallow ramekins. Deeper ones would have to bake longer. Serve on top of raw greens. Seems like it would serve four, but I ate two. For carbs, I’m calling these 4g each.