Double Blind and Double Dumb

TrialNet today.


Vanilla Boost.


I graduated to having the mixed meal tolerance test (MMTT) instead of the OGTT. The meal was a shake called Boost. It was large and it was vanilla. When I gagged, the Joslin endo and nurse reported people intentionally buy this product from grocery stores, to eat.

MMTT is different from OGTT in that Boost contains carbs, protein, and fat, instead of just carbs. I found two interesting things on MMTT here and here. My tolerance was good. My BG was at 130 or 107 or something normal like that at the end.

I’d have done a mic drop, but here is something illogical and sad: it is satisfying to have crazy BG after drinking something vile. I feel betrayed by my insides: they were able to assimilate Boost into themselves as a functioning part of the whole thing that is me. Now I am part Boost.


Jack had a non-fasting blood draw today. Since his study is double blind, this tube of blood will be sent away for analysis elsewhere with no comment until he totally has diabetes, or until the end of the study in X years.

About an hour before his blood was taken, he’d had a mango smoothie, a hash brown patty, and a bite of an Egg McMuffin; after the draw, he tested with the meter in my book bag, just to see what kind of blood he’d put in the tube. By our meter his BG was 78 mg/dL.

I was reminded to not assume this non-diabetic state is because he had the drug/not the placebo, and that none of us will know drug/placebo until the end of the study. But WOW. Whether it is the drug or just some kind of self-reversing diabetes, WOW.


We live close to Boston, so going there is not really a trip trip, but when Jack and I go we bring Bubs a souvenir. For my part, this is because of guilt. It starts when we pack: we chuck our things in one small bag. It is so easy. The guilt builds when we choose where to go for dinner: i.e., wherever the hell we want.

This time we got Bubs a book and some chocolate from Trader Joe’s. Only after he’d eaten a piece did I notice that freaky motha fokka barley malt extract in the ingredients.

BIGFOOT: Bubs. I’m so sorry. This isn’t gluten free. It has barley malt in it—

BUBS: (Spits into sink.)

BIGFOOT: I am so sorry. I read the ingredients, but I guess I was sloppy about it.

BUBS: (Holds chocolate box aloft.) May I take these outside and bash them with a sledgehammer?

BIGFOOT: Uhhm…okay?

JACK: I’ll help!

What followed was a sweet scene of two boys being aware of each other’s personal space while quite gracefully smashing a box of chocolate with crowbars. Once Bubs was satisfied and had walked away, Jack tried to salvage a few edible shards.

Is it possible the amount of barley malt extract ingested will be < 20 millionths of the total amount of particles Bubs took in over the course of the day, and would that make this day certified gluten free, even though the chocolate was not?


Yesterday was Bubs’s 4 year d-versary. (It might also have been today.) (Either way, I forgot to commemorate it.) (Ditto 2014, 2013.) In the first four years everything changed: needles to pens to pump to Dexcom to Share. Within the next four years, iLet? More delights?

Hey, I think today or yesterday was your four year anniversary of having diabetes.

BUBS: (Flexes in muscle man pose.)

BIGFOOT: Should we do something to celebrate?

BUBS: Maybe you could give me some more of that barley chocolate. (<–Sarcastic but friendly.) Good night!




  1. gstabach · August 10, 2015

    haha love that boy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rogue0fvoid · August 11, 2015

    Oh, I love his sarcasm. You are raising real winners, and I mean that totally sincerely.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Larry Here · August 11, 2015

    Yes! The development of sarcasm is the key to adulthood. And humor. And future misunderstandings! He’s funny. That’s the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Scott E · August 11, 2015

    I love your kids. Such manners and creativity. They also give me an idea for a diabetes/celiac fundraiser. At the next event, I’ll set up a booth with selected objects and crowbars. For $5, you get to bash a loaf of white bread with a crowbar. For $10, you get to bash Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates with a crowbar. For $20, some Crossfit Gym apparatus. For $50, a vial of NPH.

    As for those meal-replacement shakes, they’re all vile and gaggy. I tried one of those low-carb “BG-friendly” shakes after being offered a free sample from some guy on the internet. As hard as I tried to muscle through, I just couldn’t finish it. It was too painful. In hindsight, I should’ve taken it out back and beaten it with a crowbar.

    Liked by 2 people

    • mollyjade · August 11, 2015

      Remember the disgusting glucerna protein bars back in the 90s? Like a luna bar made out of protein. Protein bars are still nasty, but not *that* nasty.


      • Katy · October 22, 2015

        I used to love Carnation Breakfast bars.


    • skchrisman · August 11, 2015

      i’ll take a box of chocolates and a white bread for $15.00 please!


    • Katy · October 22, 2015

      PLEASE DO.


  5. skchrisman · August 11, 2015

    I totally know why you gagged at Boost, and am glad these things aren’t part of our diabetes management plan. You know they have a “Taste Great Guarantee”? I think you need your money back.

    Matt Murphy’s looks Yum.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Need A Nap2 · August 14, 2015

    Congratulations on 4 years! Well, mostly for still being alive and kicking D in the tail. 🙂 I’ve graduated to the MMTT too, my study gave me a choice of vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry. I chose chocolate. The first time was easier (not quite sure what you’re getting, etc) but the 2nd time it was harder to get down. Now our daughter has graduated to 2 visits, one for OGTT and one for MMTT. The MMTT takes less of a beating on my blood sugar so it goes better and I don’t feel so terrible at the end. But I’m glad I’m on MDI b/c I can still take our Lantus, if you’re on a pump you’re essentially without insulin so your blood sugar goes much higher. Congratulations on your blood sugar level being so great, I’m jealous. 🙂


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