All-Natural Chemophobia

banana

One zillion thanks to James Kennedy in Haileybury, Australia who generously shares his posters. Cute T-shirts too!

Reading ingredient labels has depleted me of my life force, not only because of the squinting and thinking but also due to the burden of knowing the ingredients in things. Many sound so scary.

That’s why these posters from the brilliant chemistry teacher James Kennedy made me so happy.

What I mean is I’m tired of reading labels, hunting for secret terms for gluten and/or secret codes for You Are Making Cancer Happen Now or You’re A Bad One, You Are. And even if I don’t find any of the secret words, I wind up loathing the thing I read about. It’s the letter jumbles like those above (methy? ethyl? hexa?), in the banana poster, which make everything seem sinister.

So hooray! If even a little blueberry sounds sinister when broken down into its chemical components…maybe that Glutino poptart/Dr. Bronner’s toothpaste/Ikea rhubarb syrup is not a ticket to hell.

Blank

Meanwhile, Bubs had his endo visit this week. Everything was fine, sort of. He grew taller. He did not gain weight. He, err, lost a tiny bit of weight. So his BMI went down. This is a familiar pattern from the pre-celiac diagnosis time so we will get the TTG IGG IPA WTH FML  labs drawn to discern how bad my label reading has been. (Or, more likely, to detect flaws in my gauge of whether all of those Indian/Thai/ice cream restaurants have been catching my drift.)

(I can read a ferning label.)

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6 responses to “All-Natural Chemophobia

  1. Oh the guilt. Am I not feeding my child enough? Should he just eat like an American?
    No, nobody should eat like an American. My boy’s last ht/wt worked out to a BMI of 15. What?? BMI is flawed. Moving on.
    As for looking to accidental glutening for non weight gain… has he had unexplained low BGs or a need for less insulin (like the week after a tummy bug)? If not, prob not gluten? Plus, I don’t know you -know you, but I feel like I know you, and there is no gluten getting in that kid. They just grow. So fast. Bones can barely keep up, and certainly fat can’t. Don’t worry, by 40 he’ll be hitching his shorts up to hide his love handles.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. skchrisman

    Any chance he spilled ketones while you weren’t looking? Yes, t-shirts!

    Like

  3. Oh man, those bananas sound deadly! Thank goodness I only ingest healthy stuff (Like Diet Coke Plus….remember that stuff? the one with added vitamins…)

    Like

  4. It’s so easy to get freaked out by food. The one that gets me is having to write down everything I eat + carb counts. Makes me all weird about food. Glad I don’t have to do it often.

    Like

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