This post’s alternate title is: Things Everyone Else Probably Already Knows.
SOLUTION FOR My child’s medical ID bracelet smells like ass after an ocean swim: These tattoos. They go on like a normal party tattoo (i.e. with a damp paper towel) and stay on for quite some time, specific length to be determined. Odorless. Comfortable. Legible. Bubs scrubbed this one off with Lava soap at a friend’s house. I think it was messing with his look. We didn’t know these could be so easily removed with the perennial d-bag favorite, alcohol swipes.
SOLUTION FOR I am hot and sweaty, yet frugal: Free fancy water. A seductive display at Whole Foods got three of us liking these infused waters. Then I remembered I’m not made of dollars and already have water and jars. So I filled a bunch of jars with water and watermelon and another bunch of jars with water, cucumber, and lemon. I have these in the fridge in a neat little row like what Whole Foods would do to make me want it. Future infusions will be peach-basil and lime-mint. I like this water and hope Good Me can encourage Evil Diet Coke Me to keep it up.
SOLUTION FOR I need Cheez-Its, but can’t have gluten or carbs, and also am too hot to follow complicated instructions: One-ingredient, gluten free, no carb Cheez-Its. I read about this on F-book and am sorry I can’t find the reference. This is how I made mine: ask your deli person to slice very, very thin squares or rectangles of cheese. I used nine slices of (square) lappi. Arrange these on a parchment-lined baking sheet and slice into 1″ x 1″ squares, or whatever size/shape. Spread the future crackers out a little bit so they don’t stick together. Slide this into a 350 degree F oven. Immediately turn the oven off and leave for an hour or longer. The crackers crisp up as they cool. To me, these taste exactly like Cheez-Its.
SOLUTION FOR I don’t have enough adorable cookies to bring to the beach/pool: These are good. But not so good that I am tempted to eat them myself. They’re about Chips Ahoy-level quality. They’re a completely normal no-brainer of a cookie without a whiff of is this, like, some kind of health food you’re trying to slip me? I got them at JobLot.