Uncrustable

Bubs and I were talking about diabetes camp. The last time he went, he had not yet been diagnosed with celiac. It turns out he has many fond memories of camp’s delicious Uncrustables. Uncrustables are frozen PB&J sandwich circles made by Smuckers.

We tried to think of a way to make gluten free Uncrustables. The major stumbling block for this project is the area, in square inches, of a slice of gluten free bread. It renders traditional sandwich-shaping tools useless.

A = normal people

A = normal people bread. B = overwrought lunch packing parent’s de-cruster tool. C = gluten free bread.

This is the workaround we came up with.

Gather these materials:

Wax paper, tortilla press, graduated biscuit cutters, gluten free bread, peanut butter, jam.

Wax paper, tortilla press, set of graduated biscuit cutters, gluten free bread, peanut butter, jam.

Place two slices of bread on a sheet of wax paper large enough to envelop then as a sandwich.

But first locate the slices in the bag that do not feature large, central holes.

But first locate the slices in the bag that do not feature large, central holes.

Smear a modest glob of peanut butter at the center of each slice. The peanut butter will form a lipid bilayer, preventing excessive jam ooze and bread disintegration. Use much less peanut butter than usual—a mere teaspoon per side. Add a small dollop (about 1/4 tsp.) of jam to one side. If you put on more than this, it will blerp out at the edges. Close the sandwich. Fold the wax paper around it.
image

Put it in the tortilla press…

image-2and press.

Rrrrrrr

Rrrrrrr.

Rotate 180 degrees and press again. (Rrrrr.)

Select the largest possible biscuit cutter that will fit within the confines of the crust & cut your sandwich!

I consider the trans-bread jam seepage a plus.

Wrap the tiny thing individually in its wax paper shield and store in an air-tight box in the freezer. Later on, you can simulate the behavior of a normal middle class person with a convenience food.

Hand and bread bag tag included for scale.

Hand and bread bag tag included for scale. It’s small. It’s about 15g CHO total. A real person would need at least 2 or 3 to = one PB&J.

kimm

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12 responses to “Uncrustable

  1. Have you seen/heard of this? It makes super tiny round crustless sandwiches AND seals the edges. I find it WAY too small for regular size bread. Although, I have not had the pleasure of dealing with GF bread so I can’t say for certain this would be small enough. It is amazing though. https://www.pamperedchef.com/shop/Cook%27s+Tools/Prep+Tools/Cut-N-Seal/1195

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The things you moms do for your kids always amazes me. I tried to ask for sandwiches with no crusts as a kid and I was told the only nutrition in bread was in the crust so if I didn’t eat it I might go low. Which is, of course, a giant lie.

    Like

  3. You are awesome.

    While I would never buy uncrustables for my kid if they could actually eat them had no diet restrictions, I would totally make a home brew version to try to make them not feel left out, since they can’t. Hah.

    I wonder if you could CUT UP a worthless holey peice and then put a chunk over the holes on other pieces. So when it squashes, it plugs the hole?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brilliant! Also: Jonesing for your tortilla press.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anonymous

    you are so awesome

    Like

  6. skchrisman

    I like that key fob bracelet!

    Like

  7. Best mom ever. No son of mine will miss out on uncrustables or whatever stupid thing is all the rage!

    Like

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