Zero further ado. Confessions list:
Dexcom Share. I barely use it. I only look when it is convenient for me, usually when we’re all already home in the same room and I just don’t feel like hunting down the receiver.
Insulin without testing. Even at night. Especially at night. Because I can beep-boop an insulin dose into a pump with just the reptile part of my brain. If I do all of the things: flip open the canister, get a strip in the slot in the wrong direction and then the right direction, untangle a finger from a duvet/dog, poke it, squeeze it, wait for the (brightly lit) countdown to conclude, by the end of the series my human brain has been activated and then I’m really awake. So at 2AM today when zzzt! zzzt! (201 mg/dL), I got out of bed and dosed enough insulin to drop a person 100 points. I know! Not even a conservative correction! (Reptile math.) To my credit, the arrow was diagonally up. And in my defense, the sensors are so accurate that it just seems kind of…I mean that biopancky algorithm does it, so…is this at all okay?
Diet Coke. I fell off the wagon, and just in time for the cans with the names. I loaded some into our fridge; right away I got Sweetie, Mom, and BFF. So that’s okay, right?
Longing for Amy Schumer. Bubs’s endo resembles Amy Schumer. It is eerie. She is every bit as adorable as AS, but is not sarcastic or funny. However, I often think the endo is being coy because she looks so much like AS. At our last appointment, the endo told me the most ecologically sound way to deal with dog doo is to flick it into the woods with a stick instead of picking it up as trash. Because of her AS smile, I thought she was being sarcastic, and did a sort of “Yeah right,” chortle face in response. She though I was being an idiot, sealing up doggie doo into a slowly biodegrading bag. Milk, milk, lemonade. This could be why I am always disappointed by the endo’s commentary on my technical d-skills. I expect the appointment to be like Amy S. interviewing drunk girls on the street, making them feel all empowered. But instead it’s just like being at a doctor’s office.