Bubs’s first endocrinologist famous (this family-famous) line re diabetes = “If you want to eat a doughnut, eat a fucking doughnut.” Doughnuts not really Bigfoot bag—Cinnabon maybe?—so always seemed more sparkle-crass* turn of phrase than specific instruction.
(*Maybe delight make more sense if imagine statement made w. southern accent + listener zero knowledge of glycemic index/exogenous insulin idiosyncrasies.)
Three point five years later, arrive @fucking doughnut! Not sure what to make of.
My kids are Bubs was given Peep doughnuts as a reward for PARCC testing. (Jack, munchkins.)
2. Bubs told his teacher, “No thanks, I can’t eat gluten.”
3. She said, “Okay.”
4. Another teacher chimed in with, “Don’t you want to just try it? All that will happen is you’ll get a stomach ache.”
Bigfoot initial internal rage response =
1. Why did no one tell me they would be serving f. doughnuts? I should at least have been given the opportunity to provide gluten free f. doughnuts.
2. What the hell, teacher in #4?
Bigfoot second internal response =
The school district policy is—and no one cares!—that teachers can not use food as a reward.
Bigfoot third internal r =
So I guess I’m just glad he can’t eat the fucking doughnut. Celiac FTW.
Bigfoot fourth internal r =
It’s good for kids to learn to fend for themselves in our complicated, callous, beautiful, flawed world, so…I guess I don’t care.
In the same document, there is a policy against vaping. Could I convince B to enter the next PARCC vaping?
Stupid PARCC. Stupid doughnut. Stupid diabetes. And stupid celiac for making yourself seem like a boon. Sort of.