Sugar Daddy

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Um well so here’s $35.

Blue Cross,

I had been sitting in the CVS parking lot listening to this story on Morning Edition (about why insulin is so expensive in the US) just prior to picking up our own monthly sack of the stuff. At the pharmacy counter, I swiped our HSA card to cover the $35 Humalog copay while mulling over the NPR story and doing my traditional monthly self-grumble that sniff this is so unfair; it should be the same $3 copay that’s applied to our other prescriptions.

prettyBut then I saw the amount you had contributed to the purchase. My brain popped: I am completely beholden to you. Initially your largesse made me feel cherished and fancy. You are so generous. Thank you. But one THOUSAND one hundred thirty-eight and 58/100ths dollars? And that’s per month? That initial feeling of being cherished was replaced in a blip as I realized I’m the insecure hat-shopping hooker and you’re Richard Gere. I don’t remember what happens in the movie after the awkward shopping, but I bet R. Gere quickly realizes no amount of fellatio will cover the cost of the hats.

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7 responses to “Sugar Daddy

  1. First things FIRST: where did you get that cool letter B?!

    Like

  2. Wow…fellatio in this post, semen in the last. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

    Also: something about the cost of insulin. I don’t remember what.

    Like

  3. I don’t understand how life juice can cost SO MUCH MORE in US. I always feel like starting a black market when I read this. “Sculls juice for less” we could use some fruity magic kale juice as a front.

    In other news, FELLATIO!

    Like

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