Notes to Pack in the Time Machine

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Before going back to Monday night, I would first ask the time machine operator to stop in this era, when we could just zip our people into a ski buggy with some granola bars and a blanket.

Courage. I have now listened to myself on the Lorraine and Bennet show. I made these notes for when I get to travel back in time and do it over again.

SAY

It sounds appropriately relaxed and congenial when you say their names. Say Lorraine and/or Bennet 2 – 3 times more, but not right in a row.

DON’T SAY

Don’t say nose spray say nasal spray.

CAREFUL

Refrain from attempting to quote medical opinions/advice from thoughtful experts at Yale and/or Joslin, especially when you’re not quite clear on what you mean.

MORE MENTIONING AWARENESS OF BEING UNCOOL = MORE BETTER

When you get the part where you tell about your own diagnosis, speak honestly about how actually thrilling it was to be diagnosed, and how you immediately ordered a metallic gold, double pocket Spibelt for your future T-Slim pump and Dexcom—which you were certain you’d need momentarily—but that now nothing has happened (maybe you could say something more specific about low carb life, but tread carefully here as it is easy to sound like a douche and/or overly paleo) and the sight of the metallic gold Spibelt in the sock drawer haunts you. But not in the oooOOOoooo you have a disease way but in the ooOOOOooo hold your horses/you REALLY jumped the gun way.

PRIG INSURANCE

You should have explained that every once in a while you eat two bananas or chocolate chips by the handful and then test your blood sugar to make sure you’ve still got the magic. If anyone listened carefully, you sounded like a low carb prig.

HARDY HAR HAR. PLAN A GENERICALLY HUMOROUS REMARK.

And you could have said be careful what you wish for, hardy har har. “What parent hasn’t wished they could have diabetes instead of their child?” you could have asked, forming an immediate a bond with any listener/parent whose heart would have grown wistful and increasingly fond of you. And you could have made a crack about the wish fairy forgetting the other half which could have been a segue into…

PROBABLY THE MAIN POINT OF YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN

Drug trials!

AVOID THROWING CHILD UNDER THE BUS

And then you should have said that, although unimpressed by science miracles, Jack is a very kind and polite person.

DON’T BE LIKE SO WHATEVER

And when Lorraine said the part about—when Caleb was diagnosed all those years ago—TrialNet was sort of meh, and hadn’t mentioned anything about children being possibly eligible for drug trials, you should have encouraged her to sign them up now! But not in a pushy way. Figure out a way to say that in a nice way. You should have said things that made TrialNet appealing, instead of just being a big blubbery ball of who knows? And it might work.

A COCKTAIL FOR BENNET

Bitterly mention that your sister had gestational diabetes, which is what made YOU have to drink the OGTT syrup all those (two) other times before you were an actual diabetes person, so you’ve probably had to drink it by now a total of about seven times. Ask why Bennet didn’t have to drink it ever, and if he did have to drink it one day, what flavor does he think he would pick?

MOVE OVER, BACON. (THERE’S SOMETHING MEATIER.)

And you really should have mentioned this:

There is a REAL DIABETES THING HAPPENING called Bigfoot. Initially, when I read the headline, I thought it must be related to some kind of online surprise party for me. It is not. It is real things really happening.

People are amazing. From Diatribe:

“an unknown person, dubbed “Bigfoot” at the time, had hacked together a “homebrew artificial pancreas” for his son. It turns out that “Bigfoot” is type 1 dad/husband Bryan Mazlish: his pediatrician wife and eight-year-old son have been using closed-loop automation of insulin delivery for over two years or more than 30,000 hours!”

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14 responses to “Notes to Pack in the Time Machine

  1. I love this. I have horrible concentration/focus issues and get too distracted listening to podcasts so I was not able to listen to the whole podcast of you on the Lorraine and Bennett show (see what I did there?). But… I just wanted to comment about your last point. I have seen “Bigfoot” mentioned several times in the past few weeks in reference to Bigfoot Biopharmaceuticals (which I guess is, in part, thanks to Lane Desbourough who used to work for Dexcom and also had a hand in nightscout and some other amazing things in the d-world) and EVERY.SINGLE.TIME I see/hear Bigfoot mentioned in relation to diabetes I think people are talking about YOU and I have to go “Katy didn’t mention on her blog that she’s running this diabetes related company now” And then it hits me.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I listened to the podcast and I loved what you had to say! But it was odd hearing your real voice and not the Bigfoot voice that’s in my head when I read the blog. 😉

    Like

  3. You will always be “Bigfoot” in my world instead of that other imposter “Bigfoot.” On the other hand, he is doing some wonderful stuff, so don’t be surprised if I throw you off the bus some day.

    You were wonderfully “blabby” during your interview and that is my new favorite word. I spent a lot of time in RI during my college years in the ’70’s, but haven’t been back since. Some day, some where I am looking forward to meeting you. I will find some appropriately preppy knee socks and we can eat wonderful food that falls within the KM60 guidelines. (Now that she is married, we should really call it the KB60 guidelines.)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. WOW people that trend towards bigfoot = diabetes geniuses!!! i’m sure you were a dream guest!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Tina

    I enjoyed your time on DSMA Rents very much. You are braver than I. I don’t think I have ever listened to my interview. I just physically cringed thinking about listening to it.
    you are too hard on yourself and I believe you did a fabulous job.
    We can go back to nearly every moment of our lives and find ways we think we could have done better – don’t second guess your awesomeness.
    As far as the other Bigfoot – I too had to do a double take when I first read about him and closed loop.
    you are the original – always will be an original – I mean after the author that you somewhat modeled your writing after. 😉
    Loved hearing your sweet voice.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m just so glad you listened to it. And I know you don’t need this, but, really and truly, I thought it was perfect. Like sitting at a dinner table and getting to listen to an honest and funny story.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Lorraine

    You are such a badass! I kid. This references your Facebook post. Although you are fabulous!
    Courage is listening to the show! I wince at the sound of my voice and know I would analyze every word and overspeak in every show! The show was fun and informative just as it was. This is a lovely supplement. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have listened yet, but I don’t think you need a time machine of tips because I love you just the way your are.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. shannon

    okay, dan rather. (that’s a joke about you starting your post with “courage”. get it??)

    that pic of blonde baby briggs in the snow is JUST SO CUTE.

    METALLIC GOLD SPIBELT

    re: jack. the mere fact that he agreed to participate tells us all we need to know about how sweet and generous he is.

    in conclusion: SIZZLEAN!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I sound like a broken record but… YOU WERE GREAT!
    Your truth and honesty is what was best about the podcast. I told you, I don’t listen to the DSMA podcast because it often feels too robotic. It was nice to listen to a real conversation with a real witty and quirky person like you. REALNESS… it’s hard to find in the doc these days!
    I wouldn’t change a thing, that would have made it lametastic if you hadn’t said what you really said. 🙂

    Like

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