EYE DOCTOR: How is your health overall?
EYE DR: Did you check your blood sugar today?
BUBS: Lots of times.
EYE: What was it?
BIGFOOT: (Via ESP to Bubs only) Pick one in the nineties!
BUBS: Well, I’d say I tested seven times and the average was maybe about 112?
EYE: (Unimpressed) Okay and do you know your A1c? It’s a number only a doctor could tell you?
BUBS: My mom probably knows.
BF: Five point eight! (Awaits praise.)
EYE: And how would you say your diet is if the choices are good, fair, or poor?
BUBS: Um, good?
EYE: Sounds good.
Note: Throughout conversation, Eye Doctor enter all information (BG, A1c, “good,”) into spreadsheet on giant computer screen, with officious tap-tap/wrist flourish. But meaningless for eyes, no? Unless, Bigfoot suppose, BG high that moment and always/evermore. Or, unless child—nowhere to turn but eye doctor—request nutritious food, confess my diet is poor. Can you help me? Or…?