Mexico: Gluten Free and Untethered

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celiac = verde

    The back of the green card.

The back of the green card.

Happy new year!

Home from Mexico with two topics banging around in my brain: gluten free dining at this celiac-recommended resort and trying an untethered regimen.

Celiac notes:

This is who made it great.

This is who made it great.

Our verdict: Grand Palladium Kantenah Resort and Spa is an easy place to be gluten free. Yay! It’s easy not only, but mainly, because of its awesome head waiter/El Capitán, Viridiana.

The omelet chef had not a speck of toast in sight. I love that.

I bet the omelet-eating normies were grumbling, “Why isn’t the toast near the eggs? What a terrible design!” The omelet chef was far, far away from the bread. We loved that.

We had a green card to show to any waiter or host. The card explained celiac in English and Spanish, yadda yadda. This would prompt the person to find Viridiana. Viridiana could get tortilla chips freshly sizzled in a gluten-free fryer, pancakes, pizza (It is astonishingly bad pizza. I wanted to tell them about Udi’s pre-made crusts, but was too shy and too set on speaking Spanish, which severely limited my possible topics), a brownie, or pasta. We never tried it, but Viridiana also offered gluten free cereal. Nice!

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The doughnut & sprinkle bar was a daily source of heartache.

Buffets are set up for easy gluten free-ness: vegetables and fruits and cheeses and meats and eggs are presented away from bread and pastries. Anything crumby containing gluten lives on its own island, as if crumbling gluten is to buffet food what smoking is to people. I liked that.

Sporadic chafing dishes of saucy, mysterious foods might or might not have contained gluten, but we didn’t want to eat them anyway. If I am appearing in sweaty hot weather in a bikini, I tend to not crave a steamy bowl of rabbit stew.

The Vitamix man made parsley-pineapple-celery and a bunch of other combos. I miss him.

The Vitamix man made parsley-pineapple-celery and a bunch of other combos. I miss him.

Eggs, smoked salmon, spinach, lemony cucumbers, grapefruit, bacon and the parsley drink. (Compare to breakfast at home today: dandelion root coffee.)

MY PLATE: eggs, smoked salmon, spinach, lemony cucumbers, grapefruit, bacon and the parsley drink. (Compare to breakfast at home today: dandelion root coffee and a probiotic supplement.)

The whole shebang wasn’t that easy for Bubs. He is not a huge fan of salads or pre-cut tropical fruits. He ate a lot of grilled veal (at any time of day), hotcakes, and hot chocolate. For me, it was easy to be gluten free because I love almost all food.

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One of several gluten stations. These were pretty easy to avoid, and Viridiana delivered nutella from a gluten-free jar to our table on request.

Restaurants open at dinner time. All offer gluten free pasta, pizza, brownie…and meat. I didn’t like any of the restaurants very much because Viridiana was not there, so things felt kind of iffy.

Mexican nutella portion.

Standard nutella portion.

But I recommend this resort! This would be a perfect first non-kitchen-access vacation with celiac. It is super-clean and in a gorgeous location and has lots of fun things for families to do and some quiet areas too. With a celiac card and access to Viridiana, eating is easy. I mean, it wasn’t that easy for Bubs, because he was sad that his brother was eating doughnuts and stuff right near him*, but for someone who has accepted his or her GF fortune, it would be easy.

Two interpretations of the gluten free diet.

Two interpretations of the gluten free diet.

*Joe and I eat gluten free to keep Bubs company, and also for chub control, while Jack ate a year’s worth of gluten in one week, making up for lost time.

Untethered regimen notes:

I wanted to write something nice about the untethered regimen, but I can only whine about it. It was too hard. We never got the Lantus dose right, and were up giving corrections all night, every night. And during each day, Bubs ate about seven ice creams trying to not be hypo during his hours-long rambunctious swimming sessions.

We saw a lot of HIGH and HI. Hello, Scary! And a lot of double downs. He was practically never straight arrow and in range simultaneously.

This one illustrates the night vs. day on Lantus.

Night and day on one basal rate. Ay caramba.

An unsurprising response to the standard nutella portion.

And this shows one body’s response to the standard nutella portion. BING-BING! YDMV, but probably not by so much that you could eat that much nutella.

More fun. It was like this all of the time. Even if we did a low Lantus dose and then used the pump in the evening to fill in the gaps. We never got it right. Not one day. Not one half day. Not one meal.

More fun. It was like this all of the time. We never got it right. Not one day. Not one half day. Not one meal. Wahhh.

Well, one nice untethered thing that was pretty big: a sort of Wipe Out/American Ninja Warrior obstacle course was set up in the pool and the boys were crazy about it. Since Bubs had no pump and wore his Dexcom sensor on his thigh, he experienced zero surreptitious stares and zero tubing entanglements. Freedom! This must be how girls felt when tampons were first invented.

In retrospect, it was probably not that might like American Ninja Warrior.

In retrospect, it was probably not that much like American Ninja Warrior.

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7 responses to “Mexico: Gluten Free and Untethered

  1. Yay! You’re back! I missed you! I dabble in dandelion root too. In the middle of the day – between coffee and wine. I think I’m missing the point. Sorry to hear untethered was not ideal. Except for the untetheredness about it. That sounded pretty ideal. Nice job.

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  2. Now how do we get that gluten free card in every language at every resort? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. skchrisman

    How nice for you to eat so well without having to prepare it yourself! Yay for your little break! Those HIGH! HI! Damn! nights are a real bummer, tho. I was really hoping for his sake that the untethered regimen would work out.

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  4. Bummer about the untethered situation not working out. Possibly harder to start on vacation than in real life?

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  5. I love reading your posts. 🙂

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  6. shannon

    i think it’s incredible that you found a place with a virdiana and wouldn’t it be great if every place you ever went had a virdiana of their own?

    glad untethered made ninja warrior-eqeness more fun but it sucks that it never settled down for you yiu guys into actually WORKING.

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