Pro Bone-O

Notes to self: Day 14/30.

We are almost halfway through and the Whole 30 just seems stupid. I don’t feel healthier or more energetic; I just feel self absorbed and bratty. I am sad and tired. I skipped a party because I knew there would be great beer there, and then I felt like a total drip, having to avoid people because their beer selection might make me cry.

Agony doesn’t make sense. I don’t require alcohol to loosen up and say inappropriate things at parties. And I feel so hungry, even though Whole 30’s only challenging restrictions are Diet Coke and alcohol. Meanwhile, Joe misses cheese, but is otherwise complacent and not losing his mind. He’s all I need to get some boards of wood to fix the fence. I’m all But what are we going to make for lunch tomorrow?

Crux of my problem:

photo

Actual pile of reading materials.

On one hand, a kind, and reasonable person should make brownies for her kids because the kids aren’t on the Whole 30 and it’s better and cozier to offer them homemade GF crap than packaged GF crap. On the other hand, why offer children crap of any type? On the other hand, I could make the almond butter brownies that are a treat but not crap, but on the other other hand, then I’d get all bunched up about not being able to eat them—and I am already in such a delicate state—since they’re something I would eat in normal life, while the America’s Test Kitchen How Can it Be Gluten Free Fudgy Brownies are not going to call my name. [But I want cookies (these cookies). Screaming my name.]

On the other hand, what is wrong with me that I don’t make bone broth when it is obviously the missing piece of the puzzle that would make everything okay. On the other hand, that is the last thing I would ever, ever want to consume. On the other hand, my gluten free idol is pro-bone broth, so it must be good. On the other hand: gelatinous bone liquid, hot.

Meanwhile, world events. Clackety clackety clack.

My brain goes around and around and around pretty much all day. Two people I admire are simultaneously blog-going off their anti-anxiety medications. Could Diet Coke and gin be my anti-anxiety meds? And the point of messing with this fragile balance of brain chemicals would be…? Or is this a case of being easily influenced by the two admired people, like someone who comes home from a semester abroad with a British accent?

Catherine Newman said something about feeling sad in a boring way like a dial tone, and that is how I feel, but with worse hair and a coffee stain on my dress. Now add in nostalgia for dial tones and heavy phone talking-into pieces, and how they warm up and feel nice against your cheek.

On the bright side, here are some very good things to eat that I might want to remember for the future.

The most favorite salmon with the favorite pilaf with some brussles sprouts.

The favorite salmon with the favorite pilaf with some brussles sprouts.

Cauliflower rice pilaf. ()

Salmon like this. ()

Spicy fish cakes and pickles and my friend Cynthia made this mayonnaise.

Spicy fish cakes and pickles and my friend Cynthia made this mayonnaise.

Spicy fish cakes. (Nom Nom Paleo)

For Chris, from Gwyneth.

For Chris, from Gwyneth.

Grilled Steak. (Gwyneth Paltrow)

And breakfast forever:

Every day. Egg, smoked salmon, greens.

Every day. Egg, smoked salmon, greens.

 

 

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6 responses to “Pro Bone-O

  1. For the record. I jacked myself up today in the name of Not Being Depressed About Everything and Not Being a Complete Farging Nut Job About Dishwasher Loading. I highly recommend any gin and/or Diet Coke [tm], if/as you see fit.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Just do the the Half 15. You’re already so healthy. What’s a little alcohol to smooth out the rough edges? I think the real value of Whole 30 is as a reset button. You’ve learned your lesson. But. God. You’re already half way there. Might as well finish just to finish? I feel for you. Maybe a silver lining is that once you do indulge in other things again, you will be so happy with so little. Little dirt hut=mansion.
    (And thanks for the GF shout out. I moved this weekend and ditched the kid for the duration so was able to subsist on red wine, nuts, and cheese. Still GF, but not kid-friendly. Or longevity-friendly.)

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  3. skchrisman

    Warning: ENABLER ALERT!!

    I have to agree with Catherine here. You go 90% with diet/good living, and beat yourself up over Diet Coke or a G&T? Like you’re kicking yourself when you’re down! so, that second G&T I had last night that’s making me feel like an idiot quiter today (hadn’t had one in 3 weeks) was really me drinking yours. See? Shift it all around in your head and it’s all good. Kudos for the self control. You manage dietary health like it’s your job. We could so be roommates. And, with Catherine. Definitely with Catherine.

    Whatever you choose to do, you’re still keeping up the good fight!

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  4. sad face over here. You do what is best for you. I already avoid so many places and situations simply because I know I will be way worse off if I go from the anxiety stand point and the “what do I eat” standpoint. Is it really so wrong to make those brownies and eat one? I know.. that’s not the point. Why be committed only to not be committed? only to commit yourself from the insanity of it all.

    When I am like this.. I don’t make anything at all. I tell myself – make it next month, screw everybody else.

    For the record, I went off my anti anxiety meds almost a year ago. For the record, I am currently sobbing over the fact that I really need to go back on them. FOR THE RECORD I love your bloggy blog.

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  5. I think Persimmons may make some bone broth and store it in their freezer!?

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