Doctor 8

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And the chip on my shoulder whispered in my ear: he’s probably going to call DCYF re those open-toed shoes.

Extraction day: three recalcitrant baby teeth. Necessary for begin orthodontia.

Drive oral surgeon office, count Bubs’s doctors 2014. It a lot. Oral surgeon = #8.

Tan, coiffed. Many diabetes questions. Including: What kind of pump do you use? This not seem tooth-relevant, so of course Bigfoot think oral surgeon must be PWT1D too, about to lift up scrubs top, reveal Pod or Ping or similar. So over-eager Bigfoot ask, “Are you asking because you have type 1 diabetes too?”

Tan, coiffed oral surgeon scoff, Me? No. No. I do not have diabetes.

BIGFOOT: I just thought you might since you had so many questions about—

T,COS: Diabetes can cause problems with healing, and we see a lot of kids here with diabetes. If he is well controlled he won’t need an antibiotic…

(Suddenly Bigfoot become aware chip on shoulder.)

T,COS: So, Bubs, do you have the kind of pump that tells you your blood sugar, or do you still prick your fingers?

BUBS: (Mouth full of cotton & surgical assistant fingers) Hrm hrm HRM-mm

T,COS: Still prick your fingers? That should be okay

Happy report this point, despite weight of shoulder chip, Bigfoot realize T,COS opinion B’s d-management irrelevant. Refrain launch enlightening schpiel re I am The Ultimate Fantastic Person with The Most Best Everything and You Have no Idea. Because remember recent lesson of attempt correct Dr. Do You Dip His Urine & wind up arrogant asshole in story. Let it go. Let it go. It fine if T,COS write in chart, “Child does not have access to modern diabetes tools,” or “Mother seems to have not heard of pump which eliminates finger sticks.” Let it go.

Actually, there is no insulin pump that eliminates the need for----I didn't even say this. Let's just get this over with.

Actually, there is no insulin pump that eliminates the need for<—I didn’t even consider saying this out loud. Learning.

During procedure, Bigfoot watch Dexcom. Maybe BG up because fear of giant novocaine syringe? No. Line graph droopy. Should have turned basal down. Too late now: surgeon wield pliers, assistant continuously apply Vaseline w. elongated Q-tip. And then done.

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Good for what ails you: CREAM, SKIM MILK, LIQUID SUGAR (SUGAR, WATER), WATER, CORN SYRUP, HAZELNUTS, COCOA (PROCESSED WITH ALKALI), DRIED CANE SYRUP, SUGAR, COCONUT OIL, EGG YOLKS…

Rx post extraction = ice cream, Advil, rest, change cotton wads in mouth every 20 minutes until no more deep red/globby blood. Bravery prize = large deck Magic cards. Ice cream flavor: Hazed and Confused. (Link bc wish recommend.)

The end.

Moral of story:

The less related to diabetes a medical procedure is, the more annoying the practitioner’s diabetes ideas will be.

And:

Shut up whenever possible.

And:

Turn down basal before procedures that may render the mouth non-functional.

 

 

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12 comments

  1. Kim · July 31, 2014

    My tongue would have severed from biting it so hard. I commend you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jacquie Paul Wojcik · July 31, 2014

    LISTEN TO THIS: I had a very discreet and cool nose ring in college, around the time I got my wisdom teeth extracted. My dad hated it and called it “the nail in my face,” but it made me look wise and amazing. Anyway, the doctor who did my extraction actually convinced my parents that, since I had T1D, my nose ring was likely to become infected and the infection would spread to my brain and I would die. They were so distraught that I just took it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Katy · July 31, 2014

      But the gaping holes in your gums part of your head = no prob. Wise and amazing!

      Like

    • Sharon Chrisman · August 1, 2014

      Amazed Bubs didn’t bite fingers.

      Like

  3. Colleen · July 31, 2014

    sigh…………………….

    Like

  4. Laddie · July 31, 2014

    Poor Bubs to have a terrible mother who knows nothing about diabetes, denies him modern technology, and who is not involved in his care at all…. Poor Bubs that he has seen eight different doctors this year:-( Lucky doctor that Katy kept her mouth shut!

    Like

  5. theperfectd · July 31, 2014

    “Let it go. Let it go.”
    Were you quoting Frozen? If so, I hate you. If not, I’m here to tell you you quoted Frozen.
    (And I adore you. Regardless.)

    Like

  6. cbwinchild · July 31, 2014

    I HATE when you shut up.

    Like

  7. melissabalandlee · July 31, 2014

    “The less related to diabetes a medical procedure is, the more annoying the practitioner’s diabetes ideas will be.”

    Yes. Yes yes yes.

    Also, yes.

    Like

  8. Sara · August 1, 2014

    Where can I get one of those pumps that tells me my BG? I’m really tired of poking my fingers.

    Like

  9. scully · August 1, 2014

    brilliant wisdom and quick thinking skills.
    I would’ve gotten snarky but … I think I’m always snarky

    Like

  10. StephenS · August 1, 2014

    Remarkable restraint. Hope Bubs is on the mend. And I’m glad you had a moral of the story at the end, because my brain almost checked out after Hazed and Confused.

    Like

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