Last week I tried to re-boot the part of me that cares about myself. I mean in terms of diabetes.
Part of the problem is putting it all on auto-pilot. So many carby things have ceased to seem like food to me: pasta, rice (usually), oatmeal, any potato thing (well, not sweet potatoes), chocolate except for certain kinds I really care about, any kind of muffin-cake-bread. Congratulations, me.
But lately I’ve noticed myself doing bullshit moves like: eating a banana on the way home from the grocery store. Eating the remainder of a box of blueberries after having a modest number of blueberries with plain Greek yogurt. Mindlessly downing entire heads of lettuce that I’ve left out after making a sandwich. And then those Trader Joe’s plantain chips: the bag’s too big for the boys to split, but too small for there to be enough left over to save for the next day. (Down the hatch!) Also: beer.
One day last week I held an intervention on myself. I tried to really notice what I was eating. I squinted at my food and took pictures of it and jotted down the carbs.
By 6pm on Study My Food Day, I didn’t care. After the Providence commuter traffic (it’s not that bad, but) on the way home from the GI clinic (not a stressful appointment, but) I wanted a beer. A biggie. When I walked through the door into our house, I could feel the beer hitting my throat. Somewhere on the drive home, I’d lost track of what is always so important to Morning Me (gluten free/low carb/gentle pancreas treatment) and did what comes naturally to evening me (beer and massive snacks.)
New goal: do not buy beer. Do not drink beer. Try to remember to care all day, not just morning/afternoon.
Recommended reading if you want to vividly imagine how what you’re putting in your mouth acts inside your body: Gary Taubes’s Why We Get Fat. (I read it because Laddie mentioned it.)