for tell about type 1 diabetes (and celiac)(and LADA)
03Dec / 2013
when I get older?
I’m going to marry a diabetic person.
Yeah, that way we can do each other’s sites.
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I don’t know if I ever said this out loud, but I do remember thinking this because I thought someone else with diabetes would be the ONLY possible way for them to understand all the diabetes parts of me.
None of my kids have suggested this. I mean my dear daughter had a best buddy in TX that she met at camp that also has type 1. He is a cutie too and I absolutely love his mom – really I love his entire family. Thus if we had stayed in TX and the two crazy kiddos ever got involved in a romantic way I wouldn’t have argued. Sadly we left TX and with it our dear friends. I’ve heard of cwd growing up going to camp with each other and developing relationships and getting married. I totally understand it. Having a partner that totally gets it all. I guess I only get discouraged when I look at the statistics. Don’t quote me please Im likely pulling numbers out of my arse but from what i have seen: likelihood of a child of a male T1D developing is something like 6%, likelihood of a child of a female T1D is slightly less 4% – likelihood of a child with two parents with T1D developing T1D – 40%. In no way am I suggesting two people with T1D should not get married or have kids – Im just wandering about the feelings of guilt either or both parents might feel (completely not warranted) if their child(ren) were to develop T1D. I probably shouldn’t be saying this out loud. AGAIN not suggesting it shouldn’t happen – two people with T1D falling in love and starting a family. You can’t chose who you love and two people in love will always make the very best parents. It’s one of those things that all parents would think about – I don’t have T1D, my husband doesn’t have T1D yet I still look for things I might have done wrong thus caused my kids to have T1D. Its a sucky thing to think about and I often times find myself feeling responsible and self-loathing. I just wonder how they would feel. I can say this – never ever ask an adult with T1D that has children if they worry their own child would develop. Of course they think about it. It is a very personal thing to ask anyone – don’t do it.
more on topic to your post – your children are amazing. you are amazing. I get where he is coming from and you too Briley. Being a person with a functioning pancreas I will never be able to fully understand all that is my kids diabetes. Regardless of how much a nonT1D spouse loves his/her spouse with T1D – they will never really and truly understand so I get it. And if any of my children ever were so lucky to be loved and to love another pwd I would welcome them with open arms and support their choices. I will also never ask them to consider or if they had considered the thoughts I shared above. I am 100% certain they would have already. Crapy thing about diabetes is that it finds it way into so many of our most precious and protected thoughts and desires.
Right now your dear son is innocently thinking of basic logistics – kids are awesome.
Forgive me anyone I may have offended and forgive me Katy for my novel.
For part II of this theme, tonight he said he hoped he would have a son with diabetes too. I did not engage with that topic.
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