Longboarding with This Thing

Always remove your shoes before treating a low

Always remove your shoes before treating a low

BOOM. It summer. Not sure why caught off guard, since so recently read this reminder re more activity/less activity/different activity. But still. OMG. Akin shoved into MMA ring (cage?) with tampon for sole weapon. Deep breath.

Any time of day, Bubs cheerful I think I’m going to go out on my board for a while! (Oh? WAIT! CAN HE DO THAT? Where do you think you’ll go?) Oh, just around the neighborhood, maybe down Sunset, maybe over where that kid Ethan lives. Today’s first skate announcement after lunch. (HE’S REALLY GOING TO GO IS THIS THE RIGHT TIME FOR ME TO BREAK IT TO HIM THAT HE CAN NEVER GO ANYWHERE? Do you have your Dexcom?) Yup. (Did you test?) Yup. 175 and this thing says I’m 209 with a straight arrow. (HRRRM…HIGH SEEMS GOOD What if you feel low but the Dex says you’re ok?) I’ll come home. (What if the Dex says you’re low but you feel OK?) I’ll come home. Bye! (DON’T GO! Bye?)

JACK: Do you want me to give him my phone so he can call us for help?

BIGFOOT: I think what I want is for you to just spontaneously feel like longboarding right now, but not in a fakey or protective way, just like–a coincidence.

JACK: Actually, I do kind of feel like boarding. Bye!

Phew! Close one.

That tidy solution not last long; Bubs still out but Jack home NO! GO BACK OUT THERE!! almost immediately. Really want BUT DON’T go watch BUT DON’T /find where Bubs ride BUT DON’T. Soon after, Bubs bust through door. Pale. I feel low. 52. (What does your Dexcom say?) This thing says I’m 118 and arrow diagonally down.

    Lemon. 26g CHO per cup. Remember: some people eat this stuff for real! Not for medicine!

Lemon. 26g CHO per cup. Remember: some people eat this stuff for real! Not for medicine!

Italian ice. (Summer!) Rest 8 minutes. I feel fine now; I’m going back out! (Wait–you have to re-test.) Okay. Bubs already strapped back into helmet. Already hold board. But can you bring the tester to me so I don’t have to put my stuff down? 80. That not high enough. (What does the Dex say?) This thing says I’m crossed off martini glass. I feel fine. Bye!

If you had the kind of child who made appointments (with himself) to skateboard at certain times and appointments for all of your family's impromptu Nerf battles, maybe you could dose for this

Object lesson in how to spend the least amount of time in your target zone

Again, soon after, Bubs back. I feel low.  63. Consume remainder Italian ice cup. Rest. Pale. Dark circles under eyes. Lower, lower. Mama, I feel sick. (I’m sorry. I gave you too much insulin with your lunch. I should have given you a snack before you went out.) You didn’t know I’d be low. And anyway, wasn’t I high when I left? TRUE DAT.Those kids I was helping weren’t out anymore anyway. (Helping?) They were battling some girls with Nerf guns, and they needed my help. (Wait. Did the kids you were with have Nerf guns or the girls had Nerf guns? PLEASE DON’T HAVE BEEN ATTACKING UNARMED GIRLS.) Mom. Everybody has Nerf guns. AT LEAST THERE’S THAT.

Humalog, I love you. Even though you scare the shit out of me and are a complete tyrant.

Humalog, I love you. Even though you scare the shit out of me and are a complete tyrant.

Today learn: Bubs will return home for low, even if Dex says fine + even if candy in pocket. Also learn no way for Bigfoot sherpa candy/medical gear every street simultaneously, and no way break news I’m sorry. You can never, ever go anywhere without me even though you are ten, and no way predict longboard effect on blood sugar because in/of self probably less strenuous than walking unless happen upon thrilling Nerf gun battle in cul de sac. And notice never, ever worry either child hit by car/abducted pedophile/break arm/traumatic brain injury because only ever worry pass out diabetes-style.

MORAL: If I had the kind of child who made appointments (with himself?) to skateboard and Nerf battle at specific times, maybe I could dial up a -X% temp basal/under-dose lunch THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. WE ARE DOING OUR BEST.

Advertisements

5 responses to “Longboarding with This Thing

  1. Carey

    Funny that he calls Dex “this thing” like he just met it.

    Like

  2. Sara

    Favorite line – “This thing says I’m crossed off martini glass” I’m going to use that next time I walk away from my receiver.

    Also, I love the doctor/CDE recommendations that suggest scheduling a temp basal for exercise. Like I know a few hours before that I am going to be able to exercise! It has to be even crazier to predict in a kid!

    Like

  3. I usually start my temp basal about a half-hour AFTER I start exercise — at the time when i realize “hey, this work is a bit harder and is taking longer than I thought it would be”. It’s certainly far from ideal, but if nothing else it will help to avoid those second-time-around lows. Or, when the workout starts, suspend (temp basal zero) for an hour…. it’s like taking the previous hour’s basal and making it do the work of two. Well, kind of….

    I see you’re back to the crossed-off-martini-glass. I kind of liked your no-thongs-allowed reference a few months ago, but that one never really seemed to stick…

    Bye!

    Like

  4. Omg I feel your pain! We have had a rocky Spring … Baseball seems to suck the glucose out of Ben … And I thought baseball was mostly just standing around!?

    Like

  5. Pam

    “And notice never, ever worry either child hit by car/abducted pedophile/break arm/traumatic brain injury because only ever worry pass out diabetes-style.” So very true. I often find myself wondering if I should be worrying about things many other parents obsessively worry about but usually decide there’s not enough anxiety to go around.

    Like

Please say things:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Bigfoot say other thing

%d bloggers like this: