Low People Problems: Efficacy of Rogaine at the Tricentennial

Hypoglycemia = long, strange trips in conversation. Take long time Bigfoot realize why fall into cuckoo rabbit hole @bedtime this weekend:

BUBS: Do you think I’ll live to see the tricentennial?

BIGFOOT: Hmm. How old will you be?

BUBS: I don’t know

BFOOT: Well, that will be in 2076—oh, yeah. You’ll be alive. You’ll only be 73!

BUBS: What about you?

BF: I’d be 105. So probably not. I hope not. I don’t think I’d like to live that long

B: Mama, is baldness (covers mouth with duvet)…genetic?

BF: I think for the most part it is. Yes

B: Do you think I’ll be bald?

BF: No. They say you’ll have the same kind of hair or baldness as your mom’s dad. So you’ll be like Grandpa Bob. Not bald at all

B: Do you think I’ll have to have chemotherapy and get bald from that?

BF: Nooo…?

B: Because I already have a disease, so I probably can’t get cancer, right?

BF: Well, anyone can get cancer, but I don’t think you’ll get cancer. That seems extremely unlikely

B: Do you think Rogaine works on bald men?

BF: No, not really.

B: Do you think Rogaine will work on bald men in time for the tricentennial?

BF: I guess it might. Maybe. There’s already something people can put on their eyelids to help their eyelashes grow, so maybe they will invent a version of that for the whole head

B: Well if I get bald, and Rogaine doesn’t work yet, could I have surgery to help me grow hair?

BF: There is a surgery some bald men get, but it usually looks kind of weird. And if you were bald from chemotherapy, you probably couldn’t have hair surgery right away, and remember X? He had the surgery to put hair on bald spots, and it looked really bad

B: I really don’t want to be bald for the tricentenial

BF: I think when you’re in your 70’s, you’ll have very nice hair and—

DEX: Zzzzt! Zzzzt! Zzzzt! Zzzzt!

B: It says I’m 46, with the arrow going diagonally down

BF: Ohhhkay



  1. Larry Here · May 5, 2013

    LOL. Exactly. My D girl is 5 and a half, and we haven’t discussed the tricentennial yet, but there have been some ridiculous conversations the the last 3 years that have clearly raised the hypo flag. Really funny. Thanks.


  2. Scott E · May 6, 2013

    Saved by Dexcom!

    I’ve heard the it-follows-your-mother’s-father rule too, but I’m not quite sure I believe it. I’ve lost quite a bit of hair myself, yet my maternal grandfather always had a full head of hair (until he lost it to chemo later in life). My two male cousins with the same grandfather are in the same boat as me. Only my brother seems to have followed in grandpa’s full-hairedness.

    If you ask me, your son has nothing to worry about. I think it’s a genetic impossibility for anyone with Bigfoot DNA to go bald. But if he does, it’s really not so bad. Shave the remnants of the hair really close (once a week is best, but I tend to be lazy) and wear a hat in the sun. Baldness actually makes life easier — hair is overrated if you ask me.


    • Katy · May 8, 2013

      My husband is pretty bald, and I think it’s a great look! Makes a man, however goofy, appear worldly and virile.


  3. Scott K. Johnson · May 10, 2013


    I can’t say enough how fun it was to hear this conversation! Maybe I’m low, too? đŸ™‚


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