Yesterday after school: no CGM. No clip case.
Left pocket? No. Right pocket? No. Back pocket? No. CGM inside Spibelt w pump? No. In backpack? No. Did you take it off? No. Did you have it when you got back to school after reading to the first graders? Yes. No. I don’t know. No. I’m not sure. Yes.
Official: CGM missing! Retrace steps. Bubs very sad. Very careful person, not accustomed misplace anything. (Unlike big brother on 17th water bottle/3rd lunch box of year.) Make signs, hang signs, Facebook whine, friends on walks look down/hunt, school janitors search under every desk (so kind!), school nurse (instead of go home @end of day!) telephone from path through woods between Bubs’s school + school where Bubs’s class read w. first graders. Hi, I’m just out here looking for Bubs’s CGM. You haven’t found it yet, have you? (Not yet.) I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’m on that little path, and I think I might see something…nope. Sorry. Just another promising-looking pile of dog poo.
Bubs sad. Bigfoot try hide but sad too. Part of problem is: diabetes so much better w. Dexcom G4. Like sign name letterpress stationery w. Rotring pen vs. scrape name into newsprint paper susceptible tearing w. dried out Papermate (blue). Impossible not have Dexcom after experience Dexcom. Bigfoot dread long night sans Dexcom, not able imagine whole week or whole rest of the insurance year. Other part of problem is: Bigfoot think Dexcom G4 cost $17,000. Not sure how determine this imaginary amount; maybe because believe pump = $4000-$7000 and Dexcom G4 worth at least double-triple value pump. Pump is mechanical + algorithm. Dexcom G4 is magic. No offense, Mr. Ping.
Dip toe into reality. Bravely look online for price. See receiver about $500, transmitter about $600, sensors about $100. Deep breath. OK. Still have transmitter, sensors. Maybe can pay $500, replace receiver? Seem possible. Then friend tell Bigfoot one-time-only price for replace lost piece = $250. Sweet! Practically FREE compared to $17,000. Decide search more in morning, then order replacement.
No find in morning. School principal make big intercom announcement, Children, I have a very important announcement. Offer two coveted paw-of-pride stickers for person find CGM. Two paw stickers! But nobody find.
Meanwhile Bubs high all day, nurse call, Bigfoot decide bad site, go in for change, nurse get Bubs, Bubs feel sick, trace ketones, 400-ish BG, Bigfoot decide let’s just bag it, take Bubs home for site change/recover/smoothies.
Meanwhile meanwhile still kicking self. Promise next time different! More careful! Plan:
- I will label the new Dex with name/phone number
- I will add to that label some clever copy like please return. And this is medical equipment
- I will get a better case. Not a clippy case. Another Spibelt, even though it will be harder to see the screen. Or a Flava Flav pendant
- Or better yet! A neon yellow Tallygear thing to thread onto the Spibelt!
- And I will cuddle it and love it and…
- And then everything will be perfect forever
Call Dexcom. Replacement cost (one time only) = $199 + $28 overnight speed delivery for desperate data addict. Schwing! Bigfoot place order. Problem solved.
And then phone ring. Hello, I am calling about the medical device your son lost? BOOM. Dexcom G4 found by young hero! Bigfoot call Dexcom, cancel order. First make sure If we lose it again, which we won’t, but if we did, would we still be eligible for the $199 replacement? Answer = yes.
Through this adventure, Bigfoot realize much rather have Dexcom G4 than any item this list:
- insulin pump
- any car
- Vitamix blender
- Brazilian blowout
- Frye boots
But DG4 also much less expensive than
- same list
Gauche love electronic object so much. Forgive! Not just love data, not just love promise of sleep, also love feeling (realistic illusion?) of upper hand over D which is–at core–just love/protect child. Right? Maybe same rationale as person drive Hummer grocery store.