Once you go black…

Yesterday after school: no CGM. No clip case.

Left pocket? No. Right pocket? No. Back pocket? No. CGM inside Spibelt w pump? No. In backpack? No. Did you take it off? No. Did you have it when you got back to school after reading to the first graders? Yes. No. I don’t know. No. I’m not sure. Yes.

Dexcom G4 mirages

Dexcom G4 mirages are everywhere.

Official: CGM missing! Retrace steps. Bubs very sad. Very careful person, not accustomed misplace anything. (Unlike big brother on 17th water bottle/3rd lunch box of year.) Make signs, hang signs, Facebook whine, friends on walks look down/hunt, school janitors search under every desk (so kind!), school nurse (instead of go home @end of day!) telephone from path through woods between Bubs’s school + school where Bubs’s class read w. first graders. Hi, I’m just out here looking for Bubs’s CGM. You haven’t found it yet, have you? (Not yet.) I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’m on that little path, and I think I might see something…nope. Sorry. Just another promising-looking pile of dog poo.

Bubs sad. Bigfoot try hide but sad too. Part of problem is: diabetes so much better w. Dexcom G4. Like sign name letterpress stationery w. Rotring pen vs. scrape name into newsprint paper susceptible tearing w. dried out Papermate (blue). Impossible not have Dexcom after experience Dexcom. Bigfoot dread long night sans Dexcom, not able imagine whole week or whole rest of the insurance year. Other part of problem is: Bigfoot think Dexcom G4 cost $17,000. Not sure how determine this imaginary amount; maybe because believe pump = $4000-$7000 and Dexcom G4 worth at least double-triple value pump. Pump is mechanical + algorithm. Dexcom G4 is magic. No offense, Mr. Ping.

I hope things turned out as well for Butterscotch.

I hope things turned out as well for Butterscotch.

Dip toe into reality. Bravely look online for price. See receiver about $500, transmitter about $600, sensors about $100. Deep breath. OK. Still have transmitter, sensors. Maybe can pay $500, replace receiver? Seem possible. Then friend tell Bigfoot one-time-only price for replace lost piece = $250. Sweet! Practically FREE compared to $17,000. Decide search more in morning, then order replacement.

No find in morning. School principal make big intercom announcement, Children, I have a very important announcement. Offer two coveted paw-of-pride stickers for person find CGM. Two paw stickers! But nobody find.

Meanwhile Bubs high all day, nurse call, Bigfoot decide bad site, go in for change, nurse get Bubs, Bubs feel sick, trace ketones, 400-ish BG, Bigfoot decide let’s just bag it, take Bubs home for site change/recover/smoothies.

Meanwhile meanwhile still kicking self. Promise next time different! More careful! Plan:

  • I will label the new Dex with name/phone number
  • I will add to that label some clever copy like please return. And this is medical equipment
  • I will get a better case. Not a clippy case. Another Spibelt, even though it will be harder to see the screen. Or a Flava Flav pendant
  • Or better yet! A neon yellow Tallygear thing to thread onto the Spibelt!
  • And I will cuddle it and love it and…
  • And then everything will be perfect forever

Call Dexcom. Replacement cost (one time only) = $199 + $28 overnight speed delivery for desperate data addict. Schwing! Bigfoot place order. Problem solved.

And then phone ring. Hello, I am calling about the medical device your son lost? BOOM. Dexcom G4 found by young hero! Bigfoot call Dexcom, cancel order. First make sure If we lose it again, which we won’t, but if we did, would we still be eligible for the $199 replacement? Answer = yes.

Love, love, love.

Love, love, love.

Through this adventure, Bigfoot realize much rather have Dexcom G4 than any item this list:

  • insulin pump
  • any car
  • Vitamix blender
  • Brazilian blowout
  • Frye boots

But DG4 also much less expensive than

  • same list

Gauche love electronic object so much. Forgive! Not just love data, not just love promise of sleep, also love feeling (realistic illusion?) of upper hand over D which is–at core–just love/protect child. Right? Maybe same rationale as person drive Hummer grocery store.

32 responses to “Once you go black…

  1. i have tears…either because i’m tired or SO HAPPY it was found….and that it wouldn’t have been 17 kazillion dollars to replace! xo


  2. Sara

    This is me: “Impossible not have Dexcom after experience Dexcom”

    I met with a new endo today and he asked me if I like my pump. I told him I didn’t really care about my pump but that I picked it because it is the most likely to have the earliest Dexcom integration. He totally understood. šŸ˜€


  3. More than Frye boots? Hmmmmm….
    The receivers should have GPS tracking devices on them! So glad someone found it.


  4. When I met with my OmniPod rep he said, “You may be the last person who is on MDI who uses a CGM; it’s very rare.” and I told him I’d give up everything before I gave up my DexCom. I think I’d even use beef insulin. I am soooooooo glad it was found!!!


  5. Joyce Stetson

    So glad you found your Dex. It really is the most wonderful thing. Could not live without it!


  6. Love the grocery store and hummer analogy … Made me chuckle

    So happy you found it!


  7. kudos to the young hero! I had a meter stolen and never returned and swore I would put a sticker on it saying it was a medical device with my phone number. Still haven’t done it. I probably really should.
    everything in this post was awesome. Brazilian blow out? hmmmm……
    I wish I had cgm that was more accurate and affordable.


  8. Everytime you say spibelt I imagine a belt-of-spy. Pretty much Harriet the Spy’s belt, with all kinds of places to attach things, like notebooks for taking notes of spy things and flashlights and stuff. Imagine my surprise when I finally google it and it’s a mini fanny pack. I feel like i have been bamboozled.


  9. Kim

    Hooray! I love how this ended!


  10. Whoohoo! SO glad it turned up! It has happened to so many of us. I hope Bubs doesn’t feel like it was his fault. None of us should be burdened with an AND a Dexcom.


    • he was happy to hear that a lot of the FFL celebrities had lost theirs too. when we got the dex back, he said, “i guess now all i’ll have in common with the adults at the conference is diabetes.”


  11. So glad to hear that Big Hero saved Bigfoot’s mind and Bub’s college-fund! One of the other reasons I insist on a tubed pump and a CGM inside of said pump is for this very reason — if it’s not connected to me, I’d lose it. That joke about forgetting one’s head if it wasn’t attached to their body was written about me.

    Liked by 1 person

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  15. So, I just tried to google how much it costs to replace lost Dexcom receiver. This post of yours was a second link Google gave me! And yeah, as I’m typing this, hubby is on the way back to BMX track, armed with a flashlight, to look for a lost receiver. Of course it’s a new receiver and I didn’t yet label it. Of course.


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