Wake UP(!) Gear List


Hi. Hmm. What? Facebook.

CGM vibrate low warning 76. Bigfoot lollygag under covers, read email, diddle Facebook, Funny babies! + Your new school sounds great! + Hi! + Ooh, cake in a mug! etc. CGM 61 before feet hit floor. 30+ minutes before realize: a thing is happening and I am supposed to figure out a thing to do.

Check BG: 69. Not want walk downstairs Juicy Juice. So far away! Re-check BG: 71. We should get a mini-fridge and keep it in the—OK. Find headlamp. Trudge down/up staircase. Brush Juicy Juice straw against Bubs’s cheek, mouth auto-twist onto straw, three long tugs, roll over definitive “that’s all” pose, face wall. Gently shake Juicy Juice gauge emptiness, feels 75% gone, for night-math 75%(15g) = 10g.

If you look very closely, you can see it's a polka-dotted thong that is not permitted.

If you look very closely, you can see it’s a polka-dotted thong that is not permitted.

Neurosurgeon show.

I chose a neurosurgeon show to go with my hair-brushing, and a cold, damp shower mat for a chair.

CGM crossed off martini glass/no thongs allowed = stay awake to check again in 15 minutes. Then notice hair all bedhead. Decide I can brush my hair and watch the first half of a show. Then realize can’t tend bedhead while don headphones. That why place computer on toilet seat, sit bathroom floor, volume low (for considerate other sleepers), brush hair, CGM still no martini/no thong. Show pretty funny. Brush and brush and brush hair, forget why awake. Watch commercial. Brush and oh, right.

BG 97. CGM still no martini/no thong. Now kind of awake. Read book try sleep. 4AM. Alarm set 6:20AM because promise pre-lacrosse game breakfast. Maybe just stay awake? Or at least stay awake until martini glass/big-booty thong permitted w. one cheek pressed against tipped-over keg.

Gear required:

1. CGM

It should be a book you've already read or a dull book.

It should be a book you’ve already read so that you feel kind of familiar and sleepy

2. phone

3. laptop

4. headlamp

5. Juicy Juice

6. Wifi

7. hairbrush

8. already-read book

It's a Rorschach test and I'm 24/7 party people.

It’s a Rorschach test and I’m 24/7 party people.


1. minibar

2. slippers

3. soft bathroom rug or soundproof television-viewing nook or headphones/don’t brush hair

Wish existed:

Inverse this book, read by Samuel L. Jackson.



  1. Katie · April 6, 2013

    Did your first sensor finally crap out? Isn’t it the worst when you suddenly stop getting the data and have to wait the 2 hours for a new start-up calibration? I don’t know how I survived the first 16 years w/o this thing…


    • Katy · April 7, 2013

      this makes me realize…the periodic crossing-off of the martini glass is a sign of the beginning of the crapping out, isn’t it? well, it’s working as of Sunday morning (CGM104/VerioIQ 105!) so we’re leaving it on a bit longer. The child is covered in tape.


      • Katie · April 7, 2013

        Top signs I see that let me know the sensor has gone “bad”: really off readings, the arrows stop showing up for long periods of time, martini glass cross-off and ???. Also, sometimes I can’t get a sensor to last more than 7 days and others last 21 days, so don’t feel discouraged if it varies per sensor. Usually, if the first in a pack of 4 does great the other 3 do great and vice versa. Also depends on where I stuck it on my body.


  2. cbwinchild · April 7, 2013

    I have never, ever, never understood the appeal of thongs.

    you are TOTALLY 24/7 party people.


  3. krisfitz · April 7, 2013

    Thongs, martinis, kegs – why didn’t I see these things in our Dex? Hilarious – thank you! 😀


  4. shannon · April 9, 2013

    no thongs allowed. especially polka dot ones.


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