Carb Count of Monte Cristo: Maine


The sandwich that started it all. Count the layers. Note the powdered sugar. Each potato is the size of a baby’s fist.

Weekend. Drive Maine. Lunch stop tiny diner. Bubs order croque-monsieur. It huge. Include mug of maple syrup. Huge. Triple decker thick-slice white bread. Huge. Also potatoes. 112 before eat. Bigfoot swag 100g for 3/4 sandwich, potatoes, syrup, plus Diet Moxie. Retrospect, this meal probably qualify child abuse. In moment, Bigfoot happy Bubs try something new.


What you looking at?

Hour + half later, arrive Freeport for winter festival. Meet cousin & daughter. Get in line for festival. Kids run around, throw snow. Bubs trot over I feel a little low. 38. Shit! 4 Glucolift. Ten minutes later 57. 4 Glucolift. 69. Shit! Glucolift travel tube empty. Bigfoot Spouse cold fingers unable open emergency key ring supply—fumble open Cadbury Mini-eggs instead. 62. Cousin find White Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cliff Bar in boot bag. 41g CHO. No insulin. Whole time on shuttle bus, mysterious Mexican Wrestler craning neck watch finger pricker, blood squeeze, snacks. Arrive festival 79.

I blobbed out my step-cousin once removed's face because I didn't want to mention this blog to her parents because they are psychologists and I didn't want them to make any intra-familial diagnoses.

I blobbed out my step-cousin once removed’s face because I didn’t want to mention this blog to her parents. They are psychologists. IRL she’s adorable.


99 problems and diabetes ain’t one. An excerpt of the waiver for the very charming L.L. Bean Winter Festival.

Burly L.L. Bean ice sculpting instructor notice Bigfoot/pale Bubs hunch middle snowy field, testing. BLLBISI ask Bigfoot cousin, “Is he okay? Is he diabetic? Does he need anything?” Little mouse cousin proclaim BLLBISI kind of rude. He said you were pathetic! This family favorite rhyme misunderstand of weekend. 72. Sweetarts.

Festival maybe lovely? Bigfoot no idea. Only notice it’s really bad that I don’t have any glucose tabs on me. And what if his site ripped out? I’m totally unprepared. And imagine how would I explain this to me if I were my supervisor? I brought him out to this field with three rolls of Sweetarts and a tube of frosting. Wretched. Any rate: everyone live. Kids happy.

Dinner: Portland. Flatbread. Yum. Salad, pizza, blueberry soda, beer. Normal/high-ish BG before dinner: 145. Maybe 60g CHO, bolus as if 45g. Kids finish eating, play outside in snow. Adults stay inside, more Fatty Bampkins. Arrive outside, entire city Portland age 12 & under in snowball fight. Fantastic time. Eventually, Bubs come over. I feel kind of vulnerable. (Are you cold? Do you feel low?) I don’t know. 111. More snowball fight. Then too cold. Good night, cousins.


Even in the tiniest hotel pool, you can play some pretty vigorous Marco Polo if Polo totally cheats.

In hotel, decide try little swim. I’m so hungry. (Do you think you could be low?) No. I’m just hungry. Do we have any granola bars? (Yes, let’s test first.) 82. (You should have a granola bar before you swim.) Can I have two? I mean can I have three? Can we make cocoa in the lobby? Do we have any cheese? Are there honey peanuts in the snack bar? (Let’s start with one granola bar.) Make sure not drop more before swim: 120.

After 20 minutes Marco Polo: I feel low. 67. Sweetarts. 89. More swim, but half-hearted. Shower, PJ’s. 175. Correction. Bedtime. 156. 1AM Bigfoot wake up, head throbbing (Fatty Bampkins?), puke city. Test Bubs 76. Sound asleep, suck down entire Juicy Juice in few long tugs. Read Thomas Pierce* wooly mammoth Shirley story old New Yorker. Sad. 90. Good enough? Bigfoot not able sleep anyway. Throb throb throb. Curse Fatty Bampkins. 2AM 97. Okay? Not sleep. Read The Cookbook Collector. Perfect, easy, fall right in. Grateful Fatty Bampkins headache. Grateful diabetes. So much time for read good book. 3AM 145. Okay.

*From Thos. P. interview re wooly mammoth story. Hmm: We’re all muddling through life, just like Mawmaw. She’s doing the best she can to make sense of the universe with the information she has. The mammoth is a big piece of new information that comes to live in her very own backyard. One option is to ignore it—which she does initially—and the other is to deal with it. I’m not sure that the mammoth shakes her faith, but it definitely forces her to reëxamine** her beliefs.

**I love it when they bust out the umlauts




  1. drjmeade · January 20, 2013

    Why does he stay low when he’s low? Is it b/c overestimate bolus for carb meal (mug of maple syrup? Whaaaaa?) I’m sorry your trip does not sound like a relaxing one for you but the kids had fun? T1D is very confusing and I’m learning a lot from you.


    • Katy · January 20, 2013

      I have no effing idea.


      • drjmeade · January 20, 2013

        Seriously, WTF pancreas?


  2. Nicole P · January 21, 2013

    Diabetes is a curious and confusing creature… Sounds like there were a lot of balls in the air – so there’s the unusual food, lots of activity, the cold weather, the adrenalin of activity like snowball fights…. Add to that the relative new-ness of Bubs’ diagnosis and the possibility that he’s still producing small amount of his own insulin… “I have no effing idea…” is pretty much the perfect encapsulation. I have to say, that even with all that went on – that trip sounds fun.


    • Katy · January 21, 2013

      Fun memories, wretched in the moment.


  3. earthling · January 21, 2013

    Euphoria lows? So many kids, anticipate happy time, fun activities… even pancreas crack smile? Happen other fun event? Happen earthling such time. “Umlauts”. Now know how spell it! Thanks.


    • Katy · January 21, 2013

      Halloween was like this too!


  4. Katie · January 21, 2013

    You write about living with diabetes (from the perspective of the diabetic) so well that I often forget it’s your son with T1D, not you. I really enjoy reading your posts because as I am reading I am saying, “yup, that’s exactly right” or “that happened to me last week”. Perhaps you don’t even realize you are doing it, but you sum it up exactly right each and every time.


    • Katy · January 24, 2013

      i also tend to think i have diabetes.


  5. Jacquie Paul Wojcik · January 22, 2013

    This is just me, and I’m a grown up and I do this for myself, so it’s probably different than if I were carb counting for my beautiful child, BUT — I almost always figure out how many carbs are *probably* in a strange piece of food, and the bolus for about 15-20 fewer carbohydrates. I’m always afraid of getting that perma-low, and I’d rather correct down than have to eat my way back up. But that’s probably not very good advice.


    • Katy · January 24, 2013

      that IS good advice. i like it.


  6. shannon · January 23, 2013

    HE SAID YOU WERE PATHETIC ahahah suddenly that crowded house song ‘italian plastic’ is in my head:

    i am so disturbed by the mexican wrestler mask because at first i thought you had photoshopped it like your lovely step-cousin’s face but then i realized it actually happened IRL. what??


    • shannon · January 23, 2013

      on the off chance you’re actually gonna click that song, do this one instead, better for listening for the first time.


    • Katy · January 24, 2013

      very scary mask, right? then i thought maybe underneath was a child who had been burned in a fire or by acid, or who had jaw cancer like lucy grealy in autobiography of a face and i felt really guilty for thinking it was creepy. please now share in that guilt.


      • shannon · January 24, 2013

        i’ll be sure to file it away in the ‘other things to obsess about in the middle of the night thanks to katy’ section of my psyche.


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