Bigfoot in GapKids, purchase loud corduroy skinny jeans for handsome sons. School nurse call mid credit card swipe. As if desire maximum drama, Bigfoot tell clerk, “I am so sorry. I think I have to answer this phone call. It’s just that it’s my child’s school nurse!” So graceful prevent self from utter and he has Type One diabetes! Anything could be happening! Kelly green skinny cords will just have to wait!
NURSE: Hi, Bigfoot? Everything’s okay
BIGFOOT: Oh good. Thanks. Hi
NURSE: We have a question. Bubs doesn’t like his sandwich, and he doesn’t want the apple, and he ate everything else at snack. I tried to get him interested in this oatmeal raisin, oatmeal raisin Quaker…this big oatmeal raisin thing that I have here in my office…for some reason? But he didn’t want it. And so I offered him some saltines. I said ‘are you sure you don’t want to just nibble on some saltines?’ He says he’ll just have water so I wanted to ask you what you think of that
BIGFOOT: I think it’s fine if he doesn’t eat. I mean, it’s weird, and he’ll be hungry, but he’ll be OK without lunch
NURSE: Oh, okay. I thought that’s what you’d say. I just wanted to make sure
Now Bigfoot wonder: there some medical reason saltine + insulin better than nothing + nothing? Try read between nurse lines. Bigfoot science, probably better go w. nothing. Maybe saltine better if ketones + sick/unable eat normal food. There some reason bolus/food better than no bolus/no food? It not koan.
Every day entire life/3 weeks Bubs have same lunchbox: pretzel sticks (20g CHO), salami (0g), cheese (0), small apple (10g), 2 Gummyvites (4g), tube yogurt (10g), granola bar (14g), water (0). Bubs eat every bite except small apple, apple return home, eat apple for snack. Today Bigfoot trade PB w/Justin’s Chocolate Hazelnut sandwich for pretzel sticks + cheese, also put in Stonyfield Farm probiotic smoothie (23g) in place tube yogurt. Think so fun Mommy! Whimsy!
No whimsy. Destruction. Bubs arrive home ravenous, unwilling try on skinny cords. Sandwich in trash. BG fine: 113. Normal people hungry.
Meanwhile, tomorrow Dr. Doughnut for quarterly check up. Test strip issue now irrelevant: cheat on Coro, pediatrician write Rx for 1 million strips + Bigfoot make plan w/New Endo for October. But too curious A1c postpone. Preparation suck-up Bigfoot rewrite 2 weeks data so tidy, no fiction, still think strip not excessive, hope Dr. Doughnut will read. Maybe will say, “Your work is exemplary,” “You should be a role model for parents worldwide,” or “You look so thin, are you sure you’re getting enough rest?”