Infuriating Apple Danish Mystery

This photo serves as proof that we went to Maine, and not just to a mental torture chamber.

It nothing new. Diabetes insult feel fresh today. Bigfoot family visit Portland, Maine–one night.

Wish took photo huge-ass apple danish Bubs select from hotel breakfast assortment. Nasty, glistening apple filling. Calorie King seem suggest 65g carbs normal danish. This danish seem XL, extra menace. Bolus for 70g before first bite. Hate think this food enter tiny no-insulin body. Big bolus. HUGE bolus.

Drop danish floor 2/3 through. Two-thirds or closer one-half? Squint at/measure use pi radius squared, but not sure original radius/also irregular shape not true circle. Bubs full anyway. But Bigfoot believe need make up carbs on floor instead of belly. Very science. Bigfoot not want encourage Bubs eat menacing apple danish, try get eat actual apple. Hotel apple = red delicious = worst variety apple/thick, bitter skin. Two bites red delicious apple not = pastry on floor. Try drink milk. (Blech.) How about a banana? (Bubs make angry face for reply.)

One Morning in Maine. It was much, much gorier in situ.

Leave breakfast, so uneasy. Bubs changing into swimsuit for dip in miniscule hotel pool. Not want discourage exercise/play, but this seem dangerous. Meanwhile remind Bubs unclip pump, see site. Bloody goopy ick site. Call spouse over for inspect, as if know something Bigfoot not know. Do you think any insulin even got through that mess? Bigfoot spouse probe area for tactile measure lost insulin unit, pronounce there’s definitely something going on. Bigfoot rapid fire I know but do you think that big bolus for the danish got in? Or half? Or none? And should we let him swim? Should I give him more insulin now so that danish doesn’t…

Determine Bubs either way too much, way too little insulin. Determine no way determine which true. Post cry for help Facebook. Smart parents  say just test, test, test. Prepare for drag limp body from pool/carry ketone person into ER. Three hours later: 195.

195! Almost normal. Fuck a duck.

Infuriate! Clogged (?) bloody site block almost exactly correct amount excess insulin, match danish on floor? Not feel lucky. Not feel blessed. Not feel grace of God. Just feel pissed off. If 450, could learn so when the site looks all bloody, on a going-forward basis, I will consider it clogged. If 110, could learn so when the site looks all bloody, on a going-forward basis, I will not assume it is clogged.

Meanwhile, Portland so nice. See cousins. Find Pinecone and Chickadee shop. Also 40% off everything Patagonia outlet. Not nature. Only city/shop/boats. Molasses ice cream. Bubs and Jack watch Dr. Who on drive home. Bigfoot not familiar Dr. Who, but know smart people children enjoy this program. Can list so many very nice factor this trip, overshadow by apple danish freak out.





  1. Reyna · May 30, 2012

    Loved how you asked Big Foot’s husband for his opinion…When I read this out loud to my hubby this morning we were rolling with laughter. Great post. 🙂


  2. shannon · May 31, 2012

    very science!

    menacing apple danish!

    omg that hotel pool does look seriously miniscule wth?

    and oh man, you seriously (srsly!) illuminated one of the most frustrating aspects of diabetes. even when it’s a good outcome, you can’t necessarily rejoice, because who knows if it would work the same next time!

    which season of dr. who are they starting on? we had the misfortune of getting things kicked off around the ‘weeping angel’ episode (do not google if you value your sanity), which turned my kid off kinda permanently (read: it scared the crap out of her). but it is a really great show!

    love that pic with the authentic maine lobster! 🙂


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