T.G.I. Diet Coke

Darth Vader sweatshirt + long hair =
this could go either way.

Several unusual Target/GameStop circumstances converge, Bigfoot & Sons wind up late school-night dinner TGIFridays. Jack always very curious this restaurant because hanker opportunity try jalapeno poppers.

Pre-pre-dinner BS check (so if low, can correct in time for fat fatty food<–proud foresight): 209. Pffffft.

Waiter arrive take order.

BIGFOOT: I’d like the black bean burger, with sweet potato fries. And a Sam Adams. Small

WAITER: And for you, my man?

JACK: I’ll have the cheeseburger, sweet potato fries, and water to drink

WAITER: And for you, sweetheart?

BUBS: Uh…(turns red)…I’ll have the cheeseburger, and fries, and a Diet Coke

WAITER: From the kids’ menu or the adults’ menu, sweetie?

BUBS: Uh…(stares at Bigfoot)…the kids’ menu…?

WAITER: What is it? She’s shy? Does she want the sweet potato fries like her brother?

BUBS: (In an aside to Bigfoot: should we tell him?) I’ll have the regular fries, please

We had fun. Doesn’t this look like a lot of fun? This is how we look when we’re having a blast.

So hard not laugh at waiter think Bubs girl, tears spring out of eyes like Loony Toon. Many months pass since Bubs mistaken for girl. Waiter probably think Shit! I can not determine the gender of this child! I’ll call it “Sweetheart,” because it’s probably a girl. Look at that long hair. When Diet Coke preference revealed: Aha! I knew it was a girl all along! She’s just turning red because she’s shy!

Pre-dinner BS check (mere moment after pre-pre dinner BS check): 275 (PFFFFFFT.)

Despite gender identity insult, boys love TGIFriday’s. So many sports television. Dessert name “Cup of Dirt” = chocolate pudding, smash-up Oreo, gummy worms. Nutrition information on corporate web site: 79g carbs. Bigfoot assume will be huge. When arrive small ramekin, doubt could really be 79g. If guessing without internet assistance, guess 35, 40 tops. But Bubs already so high. Not want underestimate Cup of Dirt potential sugar. Hope 79 really true, bolus for 79g.

Could be long night gender-neutral sweetheart. Bedtime: 196. No correction because IOB because crappy dinner (black bean burger/sweet potato fries/slightly flat beer actually very delicious) much later than usual.




  1. Jess · May 4, 2012

    Bubs handles things much smoother than me. I admire that. How was it overnight?


    • Katy · May 4, 2012

      He was high. So I guess the 79g carbs in the Cup of Dirt was correct AND now I think that fun waiter gave him Coke instead of Diet Coke. Because he probably thought little girls shouldn’t be forced to diet or something.


  2. shannon · May 11, 2012


    first of all, tell bubs i am a 41 year old woman who went to lunch with her husband last week and the waiter asked, “what can i get for you gentlemen today?”, so, you know, he’s not alone.

    and your comment to jess is hilar because every time i ask for nutritional info in a restaurant, it is assumed it’s b/c i am watching my weight. i am frequently offered the “lite” menu, or if i order a burger they offer it without the bun. now that the kid has begun asking for the info herself, the judgement has shifted from “that fatty needs to go on a diet” to “that monster thinks her kid needs to go on a diet”. roll with it, is what we do.

    and we always check the flavors of those diet drinks, you just can’t truss it. btw, did you not even have the jalapeno poppers after all that?


    • Katy · May 11, 2012

      you make me so happy. but this is sad: TGIF no longer HAS jalapeno poppers. the waiter said they went away in the 90s. IMOH, TGIF should stay in the 90s.

      when you say “check the flavors,” do you mean you can taste the flavor of diet vs. regular soda? i don’t trust my tastebuds. my husband can tell. the amount of carbs in a normal soda…unaccounted for…so scary.

      thanks, shannon.


      • Katy · May 11, 2012

        really tragic: i’ve never even HAD a jalapeno popper and now they are gone. in the 90s i concentrated on the fried mozzarella sticks.


      • shannon · May 14, 2012

        yeah, i mean we check the drink to see if we can taste any artificial sweeteners. usually we can figure it out.

        weep no more for those misbegotten 90’s when you were unfortunately fixated on bready gooey cheese. because apparently you can enjoy the glory of the poppers in the comfort of your own home: http://www.fridaysinyourfreezer.com/poppers-cheddar-cheese-stuffed-jalapenos.aspx


  3. Katy · May 15, 2012

    NO WAY! (on the poppers.) Do you know EVERYTHING I’ve ever needed to know?


    • shannon · May 15, 2012

      ahahah IF ONLY. i just vaguely remembered seeing them in my grocer’s freezer and hopped on the goggle and there they were!


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