Today see Coro Center Diabetes Nurse Educator. Love this nurse. Demonstrate three insulin pump samples.
#1: 1950’s-thick Kotex, egg shaped/size of duck egg. Remote control in Walmart blue with Oldsmobile dashboard texture
#2: not waterproof, cool transparent design
#3: waterproof, look like iPod if created in late 90’s (jellybean iMac era)
Bubs choose #3. That not true. Bigfoot and Bigfoot spouse choose #3, Bubs stick Kotex egg over belly button, it fall off. Then play Doodlejump on phone. Meanwhile, as if need pretend consider options, Bigfoot spouse stick Kotex egg on arm, say, “Well, this doesn’t hurt at all.”
NURSE: you know, there’s no needle in that one
BFOOT SPOUSE: ah, I see. So it can’t just atmospherically secrete insulin through my pores
#3 name Animas One Touch Ping. Ping, like ping pong. (Bigfoot favorite sport.) Ping like storybook duck, pretty sure duck Ping receive corporal punishment (lead pipe?) when tardy arrival Yangtzee River. So Bigfoot fill out paperwork, fax to Animas tomorrow. Bigfoot also fill out paperwork Dexcom continuous glucose monitor. Although Nurse say Dr. Doughnut believe CGM a useless device, Bigfoot wish get one while insurance pay 100% cost.
End of meeting, Bigfoot ask, “Are there any other expensive gadgets I should request before our insurance changes?” Not say out loud, but stall while rack brain for idea more thing ask have.
Remember 1980s SNL skit The Pump? Bigfoot remember jingle, “the pump(…)the pump(…)the pump(…)” but not remember premise. Now see it about lung cancer and syphilis. Eddie Murphy play smoking doctor hold spray bottle anti-cancer treatment. It not funny, but jingle run through head all week.