Eight beers and seven bad bracelets

Like this, but for a tiny, hairless wrist.

Bubs say no want go to college, think he may be forced to drink eight beers, have diabetes seizure, his friends too drunk to call 9-1-1, call 9-2-2 instead. Bubs say he rather be homeless than have seizure. Bigfoot not explain it more difficult for homeless fellow gain access to life-saving, seizure-preventing medicines. Instead say trite motherly thing: if you go to college, you can become a scientist and find the cure for diabetes. Surprise: Bubs look Bigfoot in eye and say that would be so cool. Then Bigfoot push it—it Bigfoot Jewish heritage showing?—or you could become a doctor, like Doctor F(rea)king Doughnut, but you can be friendly. He rush to defend, “She’s friendly! She’s just stern.”

Beer-induced seizure topic come about—not sure of exact journey, hope Bigfoot not steer directly toward drunk campus emergency scene, hope it at least group effort some extent—but know it somehow related to Bubs not yet find diabetes medical ID bracelet possible to wear. Order many different styles—too big, too itchy, too junky, clasp no work, paint with pertinent information on jelly bracelet in comfortable LIVESTRONG style wear off after one week. Bubs desire old fashioned metal type, look like ID bracelet worn by scuzzy boys in New Jersey in 1980s. It not possible to find this on internet shopping.

But in red, on heather gray, and DIABETIC instead of BOMB

Maybe could have t-shirt made—heather gray American Apparel, so soft—get pack of ten, print front and back in 96-point Futura: DIABETIC. Or—in case people mistake for ironic t-shirt due to nice fabric and fit: SERIOUSLY DIABETIC.

Diabetic girls wear diabetes Tiffany charm bracelet. Maybe if Bubs a girl, Bigfoot worry extra charms obfuscate medical message and only allow him(her) one giant charm of diabetes medicine snake. Bigfoot lucky no have daughter/daughters of world lucky no have Bigfoot. But maybe it better to be girl with disease, kind of romantic, maybe man want to take care of fainting woman, carry her to juice salvation and hook up gadgets and/or software for best diabetes management. Maybe it lonely for man with diabetes. Bigfoot mind say don’t go there but Bigfoot heart go there.

That is why Bigfoot love read this post— scroll down to see part with Charlie.


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