Kwikpen at America’s Douchiest Colleges


Bubs need smaller dose insulin now. Ratio one unit : forty carb. This mean Bigfoot need use one unit dose some of time, but Kwikpen release only unenthusiastic dribble drop, not genuine unit. For two-unit dose, Kwikpen spray with gusto. For one unit it say, “meh. I’ll give you a little droplet, I guess.”

Bigfoot ask endocrinology nurse this seem correct? She say she never try Kwikpen only one unit, “I’ll get my Kwikpen out right now and see.” Bigfoot hear rummage-rummage sound, then, “OK, I’m priming it with two units, yep, and there’s a nice spray for two units. OK, and yup. For one unit I do get a definite spray, but a much shorter spray of course, and then a droplet. Your pen may be defective.”

Bigfoot huge fan of Patagonia return policy, also L.L. Bean, so ask, “Do you think I can take it back to CVS for a new one?” Nurse say, “Sure. They’ll alert the manufacturer that there may be a problem with that lot.” Bigfoot call CVS. They say come to store, pick up new case Kwikpen (5-pack) right now. Bigfoot feel pretty sure new pen also not work but that may only be craptastic mood, not rational thought.

CVS pharmacy staff very kind for diabetic family. No one CVS ever show concern when Bigfoot present mundane ailment such as psoriasis, dandruff, yeast infection, depression, conjunctivitis, anxiety, seasonal allergy, sinus infection, louse infestation, migraine. Not ailment of Bigfoot self, of course. Bigfoot never have problem—it amazing. Young man pharmacist trainee even help Bigfoot find blood glucose meter replacement battery. Here is hint: it reside in battery department. Official diabetes medicine snake icon on package.

Many part of day quite fine. Bubs and Jack swim with friends indoor and then outdoor at YMCA, fun ladyfriend by side listen Bigfoot rattle off long list of problem and anxiety, not give advice, just agree it suck.

Later in day visit Juniper on Thayer Street for addictive tangy frozen yogurt top with assorted fruits microdiced by family of Korean perfectionists. If not enjoy fresh microdice of fruits, may choose Fruity Pebbles cereal. Juniper yogurt contain many carb, so no need try make Kwikpen deliver one unit. That a relief.

Entire conversation with endocrinology nurse take place in Urban Outfitters books section. Bubs’s open blood glucose chart block other patron access to America’s Douchiest Colleges. Bigfoot not notice Bucknell University listed, it probably not rigorous enough land in glossy humor book, but Bigfoot get caught in reverie of water polo team members wear woven leather belts with long, dangly excess belt hang along fly of Bermuda short—Bigfoot not 100% sure but Bermuda douche short circa 1993 probably even have pleat. This look remain popular in current era among some Sowams School parent, it kind of thrill rub shoulders with genuine, guileless douche in gymnasium-cafeteria. Almost same as come across Renaissance Faire Lord or Lady in Shaw’s.


One comment

  1. Bigfoot · August 26, 2011

    Bigfoot want you know: new Kwikpen very capable deliver 1 unit insulin.


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