Bigfoot voice return due to downer of thyroid disease news. Also Bigfoot possibly have too much beer—it only 2 bottle Negro Modelo—hard to say. Also, Bigfoot never sleep. One kind person offer give Bigfoot Lunesta, but pretty sure no work unless acquire anti-anxiety cocaine patch for tandem use.
Bigfoot glad have uncle world famous epidemiologist study diabetes. He say perfect thing to Bigfoot when hear story of Bubs diagnosis: fuckin’ A. This sum up nicely. It correct response for scientist-relative, bonus points for succinct.
Young cousins body surf in wave which smash then grind human body against oversized sand grains of Charlestown sea floor. Bubs beg Bigfoot go in together, Bigfoot in water up almost knee say “Yes! I’m coming, but let me get in slowly because I’m kind of cold.” It true Bigfoot also concern swimsuit top become ripped off in wave, also maybe swimsuit bottom fall down, it at least five year old—from era Isaac Mizrahi new to Target. Bigfoot very ladylike, prepare make graceful entry, cross arms over chest for inevitable. Before next step, wave knock down. Take care of that. Ocean water never cold once Bigfoot get stomach wet. But Bigfoot always make big torture, wade in inch by inch, never learn dive right in with classic style of pro.
Surf so rough cousins mostly play pickle on beach with epidemiologist/uncle. He very fit, physical and mental; know exactly how hard to play against each child make feel challenged and respected but never beaten. It an art. Only flaw this uncle: not have much mainstream knowledge. This not even a flaw. Only make him more enjoyable. For example, he ask about provenance of cocoa dusted almonds snak-paks, as if a miracle food. “Do you have to get these at a special store?” Bigfoot tell him, “No, they’re just in the nuts section of Shaw’s. They might be near the special nut blends for The South Beach Diet. But they’re just regular nuts.” He enjoy nuts more, decide to research where get more, “Mmm. What company makes these?” Bigfoot check label, tell him “Emerald.” Epidemiologist/uncle nod sagely, say, “Ah yes, he’s that new chef with a popular cooking show.”
Bubs have some low blood sugar today. He not notice, it just the number. This have name: hypoglycemia unawareness. He have so much busy exercise he eat apple and mini cupcake from Lippit Park farmers market (possibly stale, found in beach house, peanut butter flavor) and nuts (Emerald) and four cheese sticks, no need shot. Important lesson is Bubs hates Juicy Juice. Will not drink juice in box. This not a good emergency supply. Only want glucose tab or orange juice.
On way home have to stop, get dinner, Bubs still hungry after 4 cheese stick snack episode. Bigfoot spy traffic ahead, all of Providence on way home from beach? Pull over East Greenwich Panera. Cheerful Panera clerk hand Bigfoot two giant binder of nutrition information, each food on menu organized by type described in large font. It easy find precise-seeming carb information. This only nice Panera Bigfoot ever see. Every other Panera huge disappointment Bigfoot. One time get salad full of grainy dirt. One time get latte, have no espresso, only hot milk. Bigfoot recommend East Greenwich Panera. Have hazelnut coffee like 1996. Thick, yellow mug. Very pleasant.