Bigfoot star in insomnia drama, put foot in mouth each time speak. Bigfoot ashamed upon mental replay day:
- ask woman Bigfoot barely know (same sex partner sit beside in church pew), “Were you going through a divorce the last time we met?”
- also Bigfoot complain to wife of head of endocrinology Brown University that pediatric endocrinologist have brusque demeanor, then learn they BFFs. That not accurate–only attend same Christmas party.
- what more, Bigfoot tell recovering alcoholic Bigfoot think anyone benefit from 12 step program, “even people without addictions, but who just have bad personalities.”
- for grand finale, Bigfoot tell mother-in-law no remember poem she type for Jack on his first birthday, even after she tell Bigfoot, “But I know it really touched you, because I distinctly remember that you cried when you read it.” Bigfoot tell her in breezy tone, “Well, I’ve never been much of an archivist–if it was in a birthday card I probably recycled it.” Everyone gracious to Bigfoot despite.
After astronomically too long time, Bigfoot read notes from diabetes lesson, they in blue marble composition book Bigfoot not recall purchase–it have unpleasant texture paper and blue same color as “The Price is Right” stage set. Bigfoot a good note-taker but not good at absorb knowledge. This why Bigfoot not Ph.D. in cultural anthropology, also Bigfoot not know must give Bubs snack at bedtime if blood sugar < 120. Tonight Bigfoot read this note, wake child to feed 15 gram carb snack worth of So Delicious Coconut Milk Ice Cream. (Vanilla. He ask pleasantly, “Is this red velvet flavor?” Bigfoot concern lack of sugar destroy taste buds. Hope not permanent.) Bigfoot very afraid if need use Glucagon injection, it seem too terrible poke big needle into child like Pulp Fiction scene.
Bigfoot unnecessarily recreate table for record blood sugar. Brain infected with notion it better if table on 8 1/2 x 11 paper with 2 weeks per side, double sided, then three hole punch, put in magenta trim Russel + Hazel binder for storage when complete. It take forever, but now Bigfoot expert make table in Microsoft Word. Have varied borders and shading, chic text box label each meal, it look very nice but Bigfoot too tired to print. Continue use ugly spiral record book, complimentary Eli Lilly.
Spouse scold Bigfoot not asleep yet, while have opportunity. Bigfoot take 2 Ativan, try be less asshole tomorrow.