Separation of Junk Food and State

Wellness policy in the home includes a provision for dinners of whiskey and m&ms.

Wellness policy in the home includes a provision for whisky-m&m dinners.

“…the use of food as a reward, acknowledgement or incentive in the classroom or in the school environment is prohibited”—School Health & Wellness Policy for grades K – 12.


  • Peeps doughnut reward for taking PARCC test
  • Twix* & Three Musketeers (up to three) for finding Smurf figurines hidden in library
  • Jolly Ranchers** and popcorn*** for bringing in the most Box Tops for Education
  • Domino’s pizza reward for NAPE test
  • Every day some new assault
  • Light Bigfoot hair on fire (imaginary)


Same time, different reason, Bigfoot/Bigfoot spouse finally (3.5 years later) acknowledge need 504 plan for Americans with Disabilities.


Coincidentally, town’s Health and Wellness subcommittee meeting this morning, Bigfoot first time. Learn many, many other parents frustrated Health & Wellness policy not followed. And it’s like all of the best, rosiest-cheeked people in the town!


Bigfoot was “New Business” at H&W meeting. Attempted express concern policy not followed, heart thump thump thump/voice quaver; Bubs’s first school nurse/architect of H&W policy in attendance, nodding; rosy-cheeked townspeople nodding, obvious all said before this round table, yet still listen kind ears. End with “Sorry I got so varkhlempt,” then curse self for ancient SNL reference, skit not even like very much. (Actually great skit! Butter itself, I guess that explains it.)


Meanwhile, several (many?) other parents concerned junk food @school = not attend meeting but write emails to town’s assorted school principals.


Just prior to meeting with school re 504 plan, include ask (un-sarcastically, Bigfoot swear), “Should we include accommodations in the 504 that will allow B to participate in classroom junk food with his peers?”


Answer = principal (who is awesome in every circumstance) state:

There won’t be food in the classrooms any more.

BIGFOOT: Really?


BF: Really? But that’s such a huge change. So you just tell the teachers they can’t give kids food, and they’ll stop?

PRINCIPAL: This has been communicated to them.

BF: But that class called “Connect” ? It sounds like the whole point of the entire class is bonding over junk food—-

PRINCIPAL: They actually had Connect today and no one served food.

BF: Wow!


BF: But so…why suddenly this change? The policy has been in place—

PRINCIPAL: Since 2011.

BF: You are the third principal I’ve asked about it and none of them has ever thought they could even begin to try to follow it.

PRINCIPAL: There has been a correspondence sent to all teachers explaining the policy, and that’s that. That’s how we’ll do it.

BF: But so why was it never followed before?

PRINCIPAL: (Eye contact.) We never really took enforcing it seriously before, but now we are.


Bigfoot = floored.


504 meeting happened. Bubs has a 504! And 504 plan not include “When junk food will be served in class, let B’s parents know in advance so they can provide a gluten free alternative and calculate an insulin dose.” No need! Only includes things like time retake test if hypo/hyperglycemia, etc.


Good night.

Bigfoot say other thing


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