Good Things XXIII

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It’s a bracelet and a cartridge lounge.

Upright Cartridge

To wash dishes, I take this bracelet off because I love it and don’t want to get it wet or peanut buttery. Today I realized it makes a perfect bubble-prevention resting place for a prefilled cartridge.

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Swamp yankee thrift meets diabetes technology.

Lost Sock

I’m wearing Bubs’s old Dexcom because I found a sensor that expired last month, the transmitter’s over a year old and probably about to die, the smashed receiver is miraculously still working, and other low self-esteem rationales for using a device.

I put it on my arm, because I didn’t want to see it/feel it with every embrace/wardrobe change. My stars! Sticking it there is no easy feat. I got the initial adhesive on all wrinkly and cockeyed. So I put tape over it, but sloppily.

Then I came across a favorite sock, one that’s been waiting in the sock drawer for its partner to return for over a year. I cut off the toes and then cut it again at the ankle to make an armband. It fits perfectly. Maybe this is one of those ratios, like how an adult’s armspan (wingspan?) is the same as her height? The circumference of a bicep is the same as the person’s foot? This is unlikely to be true for someone who’s pumped up.

Farewell to Halloween

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Target slashed prices on unpopular Halloween candies in November. Since then, these Lemonheads–> have been the preferred treatment for lows: sturdy, portable boxes of fast-acting pellets. Only five boxes remain.

IMG_6121Since the sturdy box format has been working so well, I bought wee boxes of conversation hearts. Bubs says the hearts come with an additional benefit: no one wants to eat them for fun. They are gross.

I put some conversation hearts on a plate to see if my people would eat them. No takers. In the end, I tried the pale orange one with “BLING” on it. Truly, it was worse than a Reli-on glucose tab. GLUTEN BAD BAD BAD IDEA.

Hidden Perk of Changing Pumps

JOE: Babe, do we have any double A batteries?

BIGFOOT: (Hands over a lithium double A.)

JOE: (Reverently.) But aren’t these for the pump?

BF: They’re for his old pump.

JOE: Sahhh-wheat! This is going to be one long-lasting nose hair trimmer.

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Chocolate Boost is like Yoohoo infused with essence of prenatal vitamins.

Mixed Meal Tolerance

I had TrialNet yesterday. It was uneventful. I drank the shake and tolerated it.

LADA Drama (Not Really a Good Thing)

Since I had the old Dexcom on, I could see that post shake I went up to 180-ish, then quickly down to 60-ish, which—to me—feels TERRIBLE like: eat eat eat must eat get the fuck out of my way I need to eat can’t you people MOVE I need to eat oh my gah lemonade iced tea juice bread hamantaschen why is it so HOT in here? I took this opportunity to eat a giant bagel, and then I was on the messed up rollercoaster (baby rollercoaster) for the rest of the day until I ate an apple the size of my head with a wheel of cheddar cheese and drank hard cider and went to bed.

And that is how to kick away a low if you want to gain weight while being a completely ineffective person. Please note that I lied: it was two bagels.

This all made me aware of how impossible it is to eat a glucose tab or two or three, and wait fifteen minutes. Forget it. This is like telling someone to not urinate when they’re sitting naked on a toilet with a full bladder and the bathtub faucet running while watching a video of a stream.

IMG_6127Children’s Fiction for Omnipod Lovers

I’d never heard of these books. I think my people are too old. It’s a three-part series for children—Series of Unfortunate Events-age children—and the protagonist has a magical device called an Omnipod. (!) From skimming the book, the Omnipod is a prominent part of the story. Isn’t that fun?

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