My Normie

Official beverage of the International Normies Society.

Official beverage of Normies Internat’l.

Stick With It Sugar posted Normies today. It made me notice some exceedingly Normie parts of my own day.

Like this. I drove Jack to lacrosse camp several towns away. Not having planned ahead but knowing we’d pass some kind of food along the way, we stopped to buy a bagged lunch at Subway near the field. It cost less than $5. I dropped him off with his shitty lunch at the end of a path marked with a sign labeled with an arrow and “lacrosse camp” scrawled on it. I did not pause to notice the presence of a responsible adult.

Six hours later, having barely thought of him once, I retrieved Jack. He was thirsty and exhausted. I pulled over at CVS, gave him $3, and sent him in alone. He purchased a giant can of Arnold Palmer. It was 49 cents. He guzzled it. After drinking it, he read the nutrition label and laughed, “It says it’s three servings and 14 carbs per serving. Is that a lot?” He also said, “The second ingredient is high fructose corn syrup! This has more corn syrup in it than it has lemonade!” He laughed some more.

Lessons on being a Total Normie:

It is easy.

It is cheap.

It is ultimately, maybe, pretty much totally yucky.

Fast forward to six PM. The boys’ friends’ mom comes to pick her kids up from our house and asks if my boys would like to go to the pool for a quick swim. Having been exposed to the ease of the Normie, and hearing the qualifier “quick,” I tried to maintain Normie brain even though: swimming—diabetes—almost dinner time—all right, all right, all right I can do this*.

How-to Fake Normie:

Glance at the Dexcom.

Hand the child a carb/protein snack bar and whisper to him that he should eat it before he swims.

Have no idea if he absorbed that sage advice.

Don’t ask when they’ll be back.

Don’t think about it.

Walk the dog.

Okay.

 

*Also, frankly, knowing that Elise (age 6) flew to Boston from Texas to stay with strangers for two weeks to try the Bionic Pancreas made me feel slightly more confident that it would be acceptable for my son (age 11) to fly five minutes down the road with trusted friends for one hour to swim.

6 years old/11 years old

Texas–>Boston/My house—>my local pool

Strangers/Close friends

Two weeks/one hour

Bionic Pancreas/swim

Perspective!

 

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