Detention Detente

This week, Teacher X issued Bubs detention bc visit nurse during X class re hypoglycemia too many times. Bubs vaguely annoyed, very confused. Meanwhile crème brûlée torches shoot flames out from sockets where Bigfoot eyes belong.

Of course Bigfoot send email, inquire WTF but w. restraint:

Hi Mrs. X,

I heard from my son B and from [Nurse] that he has missed some of X class in order to check his blood glucose, and I thought I should check in with you about that.
B has had unusually frequent hypoglycemia at school this year, more than he has ever had before. As he adjusts to the new school year, B, his dad, and I have been lowering the doses that his insulin pump delivers to mitigate this. It’s a huge hassle for B and I’m sorry it has been affecting his time in your class.
I have faith that things will improve soon, and that B will not need to visit [Nurse]‘s office so often. Until then, we are, unfortunately, stuck with the diabetes and these imperfect management tools. It’s a very inconvenient disease for everyone involved. Please let me know if there is something he should be doing differently when he needs to visit the nurse during X class. Thanks so much for your attention.
Anticipated Response:
Oh my gosh I am so sorry. You must think I am such a tool. I can’t believe I gave him detention when he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Poor guy. I will apologize to him as soon as I see him. I only hope I have not caused lasting damage to your child who is obviously incredibly well-adjusted and smart, thanks to your bottomless loving kindness.

Actual Response:

Thank you for your email.
Mrs. X
Bigfoot still confused. How will child avoid future detention? Write again, immediately:
Thanks for getting back to me. Please let us know if B is not handling this the way you expect him to—he really wants to do the right thing, follow the rules, etc.
Anticipated Response:
He is perfect. Of course he is doing everything correctly. I only wish I hadn’t been so cruel to him. I can’t sleep at night. Again, I am so sorry. I was wrong. Does he like Lego? I would like to give him a large set, as an expression of how sorry I am.
Actual Response:
Okay, great.
Mrs. X

 UPDATE, the next day, FWIW:

I sent something like what Autumn suggested, but slightly whimpier:

Hi again. So sorry. I don’t think I’m understanding what B should be doing differently if he needs to see the nurse during Class X. He has the  impression he has done something wrong, and wishes to not repeat that.

I guess what we’re looking for is some description of your expectation, so B can try to meet it. We’d love to be able to help him with that from this end.

Ideally, he’ll never have hypoglycemia during your class again, but just in case…we’d love to know what you would like him to do. Thanks!

And Mrs. X replied with a reply with sentences! It turns out her issue was with B not getting the correct kind of hall pass. I am going to choose to think that she has T1d herself and is extra-bending-over-backwards to not treat him differently from other kids (due to Scott E-like feelings of fury when treated differently at school), and so…since she is a hall pass stickler, she’s going to be a pass stickler with B. Or, in the likely event that hypothesis is not correct, I am going to assume she is a pass stickler for some intense safety reason. (Maybe years ago she lost track of a child who is still missing.) And it wasn’t like he didn’t get a pass because he was rushing to the nurse in a hypo-frenzy, he just didn’t take the get-a-pass thing seriously since his other teachers are more casual about them.

There is so much good advice in the comments. I feel like I’m already too deep into this to start doing it right paperwork/504-wise. If I could start over from scratch, I would. Ideally I would do what Pam did.



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