Basal Pesto

Hardware problem or basal tweak?

Just when think on to some smart thing, turn out something else. Every afternoon for several days, change site. Because site stop working after lunch. After kachunk new site (not new insulin unless look bubbly) + syringe big correction, recover. Daily kachunks = a lot. Seem weird. Why site stop working every afternoon?

Now considering: it basal problem? Not enough basal in afternoon? Current schema, basal change more like…child 180 in afternoon when should be 120, change basal. Or child wake up 200, tweak 3AM basal. Bigfoot not think 400 = change basal. Think 400 = hardware malfunction. But if hardware malfunction EVERY DAY at same time, and inspect/look fine…<—Sherlock.

SO far for basal change, only ever boop up/down by 0.025u/hour. To combat 300/400-style high, probably need more emphatic boop. This safe? Let Bigfoot guess: it each family’s job experiment, figure out, every child different, etc.

Tempted up afternoon from 0.3u/hour to 0.4u/hour. Too radical? Not radical enough?

Meanwhile, after read this post from Kerri re extremely shitty chain mail feeling, Bigfoot not stop think about high BG + personality. Sometimes (i.e. often) lately when Bubs high in afternoon, total drama. You hate me! No! You can’t give me an injection! Why don’t you feel sorry for me? Aren’t parents supposed to have some SYMPATHY for their children? So now you’re going to tell me that I can’t even play Minecraft anymore? FOREVER??? Why are you always to MEAN to me? Etc.

But when normal BG, so lovely be in Bubs’s company. Tonight after downpour, after dinner, after correction, after 335, bicycling through neighborhood/puddles. Bubs charming as storybook: I feel like I can tell what kind of dog belongs in each house from the style of the architecture, you know? Or Let’s play a game where we have to slalom through the leaves and if you touch a leaf it’s minus one but if you touch a stick… Etc.

Before dinner: 335. After after-dinner bike ride: 79. With who knows how much insulin on board because my brain is in the pump but the insulin came from a syringe. Ergo ice cream. Probably not enough.

Sadly, frankly, this side of personality kind of rare. Part of thing is Bubs introvert like Bigfoot—need swaths of time alone for function in society. But Bigfoot certain happy-go-luckiest children in world very powerful pancreas, handle any food/absence food w. apblomb. Pancreas hidden within happy-go-lucky child probably total badass: Bring it on! Hit me with that pancake! I refuse to let it bitchify this child! OR No food? Who gives a shit! Liver, give him some sugar, but don’t get sloppy with it or I’ll kick your ass.

It hard not attribute Bubs’s personality BG level. But probably more human condition than diabetes thing. Mood up/down, biochemical, need feel comfortable in body for good personality/creativity/flow. For example, Bigfoot migraine headache before storm. Not same as high BG, but analagous? Not interested husband want share hilarious clip Belle and Bernice. I’m trying to work! Can you just put the skanky pool towels in the washing machine? Stop offering me drinks! Just leave me alone! Etc. Not interested read child’s delightful restaurant review. I like that you’re working on that, but can’t you just show it to Daddy? You’re supposed to be downstairs! Maybe if no storm, Bigfoot never headache, and never bitchy. Like princess mother. Maybe if no diabetes, Bubs toodle around on bicycle all day, think about puppies/leaf games.

After storm, headache gone. Belle and Bernice very funny.

Hour after ice cream, time for bed: 95.

One Year

They can see.

Celebrate! For 1 year D-versary, Bubs/Jack visit pediatrician annual check ups. Vision fine. BMI fine. Wear bike helmets? Yes. Wear seat belts? Yes. Read books? Yes. Play sports? Yes. Testicle exam. Giggle. Any questions? Bigfoot reach into book bag, grab notes written back Shaw’s receipt. Yes.

Curiosity, few times check Jack BG + it sometimes normal but twice high: 140, 150. Was this right after he ate like a big hot fudge sundae or something? No. Bigfoot want investigate Jack A1c. Pediatrician agree. I’m sure it will be fine. You know, I have a son with Type 1 diabetes. He was diagnosed when he was five. Now he’s just had his second child! Swept up in excitement, Bigfoot not realize this appropriate time congratulate on new Grandpa Part II, only say Type 1 since he was five?! It seems impossible, but now I love you more than ever! Pediatrician raise eyebrows, look at floor in “well, that’s inappropriate” gesture.

Bubs move into full “Let Us Now Bond Over Our Common Experience: Type 1 Diabetes” mode when pediatrician mention chest X-ray clear, I’m sure Mary told you that means we can be sure there’s no pneumonia or bronchitis.

BUBS: Nurse Mary says diabeetus instead of diabetes!

PEDIATRICIAN: Some people say it that way

BUBS: Diabeetus?! It’s totally wrong

PEDIATRICIAN: You think it sounds weird? Well…

BUBS: And Joe Solo said “shit” to me!

BIGFOOT: Well, you shouldn’t repeat that

BUBS: He’s a Lithuanian guy, and he has diabetes, and he said that to me and he didn’t even know me! And Dr. Doughnut says, “If you want a fucking doughnut, have a fucking doughnut!”

PEDIATRICIAN: She said that?

BIGFOOT: It’s OK to tell that story, but please say “bleeping doughnut”

PEDIATRICIAN: She really said that?

BUBS: (Bursting with pride.) Yes!!!

Before the chocolate chip pancake. He mixed some of Jack’s strawberry soda into his birch beer, rendering it disgusting and undrinkable. A double mitzvah!

After annual check ups, whole family out for lunch Sunnyside. Everyone choose daily special: corn chowder/kale grilled cheese on olive bread/salad. Except Bubs. Bubs choose chocolate chip pancake, Yacht Club birch beer (+chowder.) Serious trauma meal. Bigfoot restrain self, think It’s an occasion. Let him have what he wants. Now think that was stupid. No one should have soda with pancakes. Maybe OK for Aung San Suu Kyi circa November 30, 2010.

Next attend Diary of a Wimpy Kid3rd film in series. Movie OK funny, medium laughter. Kind of distracting, Rowley big boobs. Somehow Bubs, Jack, Bigfoot decide ice cream before go home. Bigfoot think incorrect rain on carb parade, say OK. Also Bigfoot very much like ice cream. Want ice cream in mouth ASAP. Pause on way out, test BG in theater lobby. That way I can bolus you now, so the insulin will be ready for the ice cream to hit! BG 405. Merde.

Bubs very merrily trot out to car, recline passenger seat into full hospital bed, lie on tummy, pull down pants little bit. You should just inject me with a syringe.

+++++

Tomorrow: Jack to lab for A1c blood draw. Result same day? Bigfoot preternatural calm. If Jack Type 1, seem easy. Know what to do. Also, Jack very cautious/methodical. Never see someone brush orthodontic retainer such diligence. Could be whizz-bang patient. Also would probably be eligible pump immediately, not need wait six months. Parents already A+ expert. Also could train middle school staff, pave way for little brother.

Really hard imagine could be true. Only see Jack T1 as benefit Bubs, not yet able worry impact on Jack. Hope not jinx self. Bigfoot not believe in jinx.

+++++

Tentative Agenda D-Versary 2013:

Go for hike, eat nuts/steak/foraged purslane at peak, run around catch fireflies in jar,

release fireflies as moon rises, make wish for cure,

maybe buy tennis racquets.

Could be true

Still asleep. Same position. Please wake up proud and happy, in lieu of hating me. And please never read this post.

Strange beach house. Bigfoot/Bubs sleep double bed. Spouse other room. Jack other room. Butter downstairs. No witness here for keep Bigfoot honest.

Low insulin cartridge creep up. Crap. All day forgot take care of. 12u enough get through night but not get through night without beepity-beep warning music. Bubs asleep on side. Hip w/site up. Hip for new site down. Vast acreage naked belly full view. Pinch belly. Bubs not flinch. Wipe 3″ diameter circle belly IV Prep Pad. Bubs not notice. Bigfoot think this is not premeditated. I’m just seeing how asleep he is.

Fill new cartridge, rewind pump 100u while IV Prep Pad juice dry. Prod belly. Bubs not even change breath. Bigfoot feel very calm. Probably could be hit man. Load cartridge. Before think too much, kachunk site on belly. Oh my gah. What have I done? Peel adhesive backers off. Stick on. Smooth down. Pat. Fill cannula. Bubs not move.

Planet Earth = blue vanilla with Oreo pieces and marshmallow swirl. Maine Modern Family = vanilla with peanut butter cups, cookie dough, peanuts, pretzels? and some other stuff. I had vanilla with mini Rolos in it. It had an elaborate name.

From beginning diabetes, Bubs not willing try belly action. At first, endocrinology team think maybe better avoid belly because so skinny. Last checkup Dr. Doughnut palpate belly, pronounce Bubs grow enough “loose skin” (=fat?) for use this real estate. Bubs refuse. Of course Bigfoot respect. Common sense. Small person very little control, not want jab needle ticklish spot against will. Not know what come over Bigfoot, violate child belly while asleep. Sad state affairs.

Briefly convince self I’ll tell him he woke up a little bit when I tried to roll him over to get to his other hip, and that he asked me to put it there. That way he’ll feel like he’s still in control. Could be true. Also could be true It’s only a five minute walk to the ice cream place. More like 30, but five could be true. No one wearing watch. Also could be true the only place with wifi is the Stonewall Kitchen cafe, and I have to work.

Such liar. So easy. Feel terrible. Sorry. Born this way.

Fist Pump

One vanilla-Twix flurry, one kiddie size black raspberry dish.

Diabetes Memes once show baby fist pump in celebration guess restaurant meal carb # correctly.

I love you more than ever, Eskimo King

Today it happen Bigfoot. Eskimo King. Soft ice cream, Twix bars smash-whirl. How many Twix? How many ounce ice cream? Bigfoot ask clerk, clerk recommend Bubs have “Only 8” brand soft-serve It tastes just as good as—almost like—ice cream! Bigfoot try explain Bubs can eat ice cream, just need know how much, by weight, in “Flurry” + amount of Twix. Not matter if “Only 8″ or normal ice cream, need know amount. So-Friendly Clerk say oh, I have no idea! Sensible Bigfoot ask, is it possible to find out? I guess I could ask the manager… Bigfoot say never mind, think the manager will say a number, and I won’t believe her anyway.

Reader, Small Flurry Eskimo King = 12 ounce Medium Blizzard Dairy Queen. This easy look up online. 96.4 carbs for DQ Oreo. Bigfoot round up: guess 100 carbs; Twix tiny hair more sugary than Oreo? Who know. Who care? Bigfoot guess correct! Or maybe guess wrong, but work out OK. Before Flurry,  #83. Two hours after,  #121.

FIST PUMP.

Secret: no secret

Speedos: back in a big way, but only for those with small buns

Swimming exuberant joy but so tricky. Bigfoot learn importance give medium-ish, sweet-ish snack, no insulin, before swim. Snack lesson end problem of hypoglycemia while swim. 100% effective. Experience brief feeling mastery.

With advance medical knowledge come awareness of new, worse issue. Swimming make blood sugar drop hour, hours, or many hours after swim also (i.e., in addition during swim), never know when happen. Last night, Bigfoot and Bigfoot Spouse try watch Daily Show Hulu. Bubs keep calling out with update re: loose tooth. Bigfoot notice time 10:00PM. Very strange Bubs still awake. Go without saying Bubs not worry, think parents have safety all wrap up with bow. Bigfoot use ice cold feet for push spouse out of bed, force test Bubs’s blood sugar: 64. At 8:30PM was 111. At 6PM dinner time, 121. At 4PM pre-swim: 143.

Treat low: glucose tabs. Wait 15 minutes. 10:15PM. Tooth come out. BS=81. This not seem safe for sleep. Make spouse go into icy kitchen, make peanut butter cracker snack. Convince Bubs eat peanut butter cracker, very difficult because tooth missing afresh, bloody gap. Test again. 10:30PM: 84. How know not drop low again? Not know. Make spouse go make more peanut butter snack. Eventually BS=ninety-something, everyone fall asleep even though Bigfoot pretty sure that not endocrinologically correct procedure.

I love this bench. It is warm, and I can read magazines or Mindy Kaling's book. I love swimming.

Today, Bubs write to Coro Center nurse, describe swim sugar problem, ask for advice. This what she write back: You treated the post swim situation perfectly!!  [Bigfoot appreciate positive comment so much, eyelashes elongate, curl/hair take on more lustrous sheen upon read this line.]

In regard to your question regarding how to manage potential delayed lows following swim, I have a few suggestions.  I would check his BG more frequently after swim to get a better idea of when (if) he drops.  [At 9PM: Bubs score 174. Maybe Bigfoot give too big snack? Also, snack peanut butter ice cream---not good choice. Probably should be grilled chicken panini, string cheese, whole grain cereal.) If he is having delayed lows (and if swim is after dinner) you could try giving him less insulin with dinner on swim nights.  Another approach would be to give him a post swim snack that includes both carb and protein.  Unfortunately with exercise there are general guidelines but experience will be your best teacher.

Bigfoot read this a few times, hunt for valuable kernel. Where guaranteed method for not kill child? Where reassurance Bubs wake up, give rousing call for help if feel low in sleep? Read and read. This a Yoda thing?

Book report plus note from teacher

This woman also had bird plums, not pictured.

Favorite book in house, for long time, What I Eat: Around the World In 80 Diets. This tour of world arranged least to most calorie consume typical day. No political commentary, no “free Tibet,” no “Americans so fat.”

Many area of world use Knorr bullion products in exotic flavor. Maybe have pile of grain, fermented yak milk, dry cheese curd, and Knorr mutton-flavor bullion. Often foods on list reader not know what look like. Bigfoot sons like read list of foods, try locate each thing in portrait. This a fun game. One woman drink own urine.  That an exciting page. Every day Bubs want read this book.

Bubs and Jack always like Indian Shaman guy meal best. Very skinny, elderly man consume only boiled water from dainty brass kettle all day, then have one meal curry, dal, rice, naan, fried puffy bread too. Bigfoot try recreate this Shaman meal. Boys not impressed—fried puffy bread missing.

Bigfoot glad no portrait What Bubs Eat this week. Pretty sad what he eat at school. Nurse agree Bigfoot eat real food at home, it OK eat power bar lunch. Home: oatmeal, milk, maple syrup. School: graham cracker + peanut butter. Mini Luna bar. Chocolate milk. Cliff protein bar. Sobe Lifewater Zero. Home: Banana + peanut butter + rice cake. Cookies. Milk. Apple. Carrot. Beans + cheese + tortilla. Mint Oreo ice cream.

At school Bubs only eat food in wrapper, not have to touch. Every day Bigfoot put apple, cheese, almonds in lunch box but it just a good mommy show. Bigfoot eat almonds, cheese and apple when clean out lunchbox in afternoon. Love room temperature Babybel. So salty.

Iran. Yum.

Meanwhile, Bigfoot write note to thank Bubs’s teacher for allow nurse teach class diabetes facts. That not true, it only email note. Bigfoot in awe this teacher, she so competent and firm, also all children love, also adorable and very neat appearance. She write back: I am so lucky to have [Bubs] this year!  He has become a wonderful addition to our classroom family.  I love when he starts talking about a topic he is passionate about (like Legos!) his whole face lights up from behind all that hair!!!  He is a polite young man! This illustrate something Bigfoot not understand elementary school teachers: they really like children or it a coping mechanism for dealing most irritating population nine months year?

Bigfoot usually spend time with children scheme get time alone as fast as possible. Grit teeth through teach make pancakes. Try muster some interest sports chat. No natural talent Lego Star Wars ship. Food book always enjoy time together.

Bile up to Bigfoot eyeball

Some hurricane thing very good: postpone school days, gain time for plan snack/lunch carb, also not need wake up early. Bad part: no fairy godmother rescue Bigfoot family from diabetes.

When arrive at preppy prison, it seem like heaven. Jack read Kardashian wedding People magazine, Paine’s Creek beach at high tide, no cook or clean, big puffy bed with own cable television. Then notice: no one make diabetes go away. Then notice: no one understand diabetes—think no need insulin if drink milk with sticky bun. Think it nice take Bubs aside, call him “a real champion.” Also notice, maybe some wrinkle nose when see syringe. Bigfoot not go again until cure found or syringe parlor installed.

One day lunch Bubs ask drive Hyannis, get Pizzeria UNO brand macaroni and cheese. (Bigfoot say OK because this near Trader Joe’s, think maybe Trader Joe’s have diabetes section Bigfoot overlook on previous visit.) Bubs order desired meal, get insulin shot (many unit to cover high carb count) then refuse to eat. Sure Bigfoot look cool as cucumber, but panic—hustle children next door to Wendy’s for Frosty to make up for missing carbs. Bigfoot have fantasy say PIZZERIA HOLY FUCKING UNO, throw glass of ice against plasma screen tv, shock children into blind obedience. Not worth try—pretty sure it not work. Limp along with current pacifist/scientist/holywoman method.

It a miracle, blood glucose remain normal after macaroni/Frosty swap. Bigfoot afraid Bubs manipulate this way all of time now, think maybe need to do tackle/force frosting into cheek pouch next time to avoid set bad pattern. Bigfoot try to avoid think what happen if Bubs discover power refuse eat have over school day.

Anyhoo, Bigfoot and sons cry in car whole drive home. Everything too overwhelming, especially if have mother who is crybaby.

Bigfoot home now. Nothing improve. Hurricane lawn debris: terrible. Household maintenance: terrible. Food selection: terrible. Unwanted Eames (faux) chair: unsold. Wish to blame Bigfoot spouse, but he out at job “all day.” (Teacher.) (Bigfoot kidding!)

Swim with friends at YMCA, eat peanut butter graham cracker for energy, have enough energy for pencil dive and cannonball; think healthy blood sugar #110. Bigfoot wish could run away for week, but not trust anyone take care of Bubs. This a terrible love trap, hate every moment.

Hurricane not fun

Bigfoot find this picture Irene 1999.

Bigfoot neighborhood evacuate for hurricane Irene. It not mandatory, only recommend. Think it important be able to reach hospital with Bubs in Glucagon style emergency. This overreacting? Mother- and father-in-law accommodate whole family in Kingston home. It difficult settle in, especially for dog. Maybe dog have barometric pressure change-induced migraine.

On way to refugee home, stop at Bertucci’s for dinner. Initial contact with waiter, Bigfoot request nutrition information for children’s menu, and waiter launch into speedy talk using unctuos Kasey Kasem voice. “Obviously, you won’t want a pizza or pasta, I could make you a chicken breast with no breading and a side of broccoli, or salad might be a good choice…” Bigfoot not understand this un-interruptable flow of language ensue from waiter head, but Bigfoot spouse offer magnanimous smile say, “My wife needs the information for our son. He is diabetic.”

Then Bigfoot understand. Immediately say, “I am not even chubby! I am not even the chubbiest person at this table of not-chubby people!” Waiter give sidelong glance Bigfoot spouse, launch into more speedy talk about he rugby football player, want to bond over athlete nutrition requirement. Bigfoot wonder why he imagine chubby woman want order child 12 and under meal—assume she jonesing for complimentary Hoodsie cup at end?

One Bertucci dinner roll have 28 carbs. Bubs estimate he want to eat three. From menu, he select rigatoni and cheese. And Hoodsie cup. This highest carb meal in diabetes history, but Coro Center endocrinologist say OK have many carb as long as have insulin to match. MyFitnessPal estimate this meal total 175 carbs! Take deep breath, inject 5 units insulin for 1:40 ratio. Later learn it not enough, maybe should have consult creepy Calorie King. Bubs have high bedtime blood sugar—too shameful mention specific number, also not remember specific number and too chubby get up/walk across room to look at meter, but it enough over 300 to shock. Hurricane already disaster.

Hope next bad thing happen more mild: home lose power, all Quorn chick’n patty and bagged mango chunk thaw, become trash. Or towel left spinning in dryer not thoroughly dry out, permanent mold smell settle in, have to buy new towel and new Quorn chick’n patty. Bigfoot think that fine, just beg Irene no destroy home/retina/cornea/heart/liver.

On bright side, no forget diabetes supply. Also Irene maybe grow weaker, mess with Western Connecticut, become mere tropical storm not hurricane for Rhode Island. Sorry for CT brethren misfortune, but seriously, Bigfoot not care as much about you as you maybe thought.

I would quit

I can not imagine B. going to school for real in one week. We don’t even wake up until 8:30, twenty minutes after the Pledge of Allegiance begins each morning.

The school nurse at X school in Barrington reported to a parent that she intended to keep the diabetic child “a little high” in order to avoid lows. Because she’d rather avoid the danger/urgency of a low than contribute to the child’s long-term health by avoiding a high. I hate this. Our school’s nurse will be better. If I were a school nurse and a diabetic child came into my care, I would just quit my job.

Daily Scoop’s scooper said a small consists of three ounces of ice cream. No. It was at least ten ounces. It was chocolate ice cream streaked with globs of peanut butter cookie dough. That’s a stupid afternoon snack.

Here are things I did like today: I had coffee with a good friend in the morning; the boys played in the YMCA pool for 75 minutes with a yellow water polo ball and didn’t fight at all and looked so healthy and strong; also I liked the green beans and tempeh I made for dinner. Fried in coconut oil and had a brown rice syrupy sauce.

This all quite big hassle for Bigfoot

Bigfoot star in insomnia drama, put foot in mouth each time speak. Bigfoot ashamed upon mental replay day:

  • ask woman Bigfoot barely know (same sex partner sit beside in church pew), “Were you going through a divorce the last time we met?”
  • also Bigfoot complain to wife of head of endocrinology Brown University that pediatric endocrinologist have brusque demeanor, then learn they BFFs. That not accurate–only attend same Christmas party.
  • what more, Bigfoot tell recovering alcoholic Bigfoot think anyone benefit from 12 step program, “even people without addictions, but who just have bad personalities.”
  • for grand finale, Bigfoot tell mother-in-law no remember poem she type for Jack on his first birthday, even after she tell Bigfoot, “But I know it really touched you, because I distinctly remember that you cried when you read it.” Bigfoot tell her in breezy tone, “Well, I’ve never been much of an archivist–if it was in a birthday card I probably recycled it.” Everyone gracious to Bigfoot despite.

He seem quite normal

After astronomically too long time, Bigfoot read notes from diabetes lesson, they in blue marble composition book Bigfoot not recall purchase–it have unpleasant texture paper and blue same color as “The Price is Right” stage set. Bigfoot a good note-taker but not good at absorb knowledge. This why Bigfoot not Ph.D. in cultural anthropology, also Bigfoot not know must give Bubs snack at bedtime if blood sugar < 120. Tonight Bigfoot read this note, wake child to feed 15 gram carb snack worth of So Delicious Coconut Milk Ice Cream. (Vanilla. He ask pleasantly, “Is this red velvet flavor?” Bigfoot concern lack of sugar destroy taste buds. Hope not permanent.) Bigfoot very afraid if need use Glucagon injection, it seem too terrible poke big needle into child like Pulp Fiction scene.

Bigfoot unnecessarily recreate table for record blood sugar. Brain infected with notion it better if table on 8 1/2 x 11 paper with 2 weeks per side, double sided, then three hole punch, put in magenta trim Russel + Hazel binder for storage when complete. It take forever, but now Bigfoot expert make table in Microsoft Word. Have varied borders and shading, chic text box label each meal, it look very nice but Bigfoot too tired to print. Continue use ugly spiral record book, complimentary Eli Lilly.

Spouse scold Bigfoot not asleep yet, while have opportunity. Bigfoot take 2 Ativan, try be less asshole tomorrow.

Bigfoot say other thing

Bigfoot sure this not right placement Pinterest button

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