Tag Archives: hypoglycemic awareness dogs

17May / 2012

Diabetes Week #4: Dream Gadget

Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc etc etc.  The sky is the limit – what would you love to see?

this was a picture of Dug from UP
Dog – English translation device says, “You don’t have hypoglycemia, but there’s peanut butter on your knees”

DOG!

Bubs love dogs. Always love dogs since baby. Even enjoy roll around in dog park poop-dirt with dog pack, although normally fastidious. Think hypoglycemia alert dog perfect (not gadget but) tool Bigfoot family. Dog stay by Bubs’s side in spiffy vest, maybe little pocket for Skittes built in. Bubs bring to school, dog sit under desk, maybe bring to SAT and GRE, take to college like Amelia.

But this dog already exist real world. For fantasy device, wish translator collar like Dug in UP.

Your blood sugar is high. You smell like pee pee. I love you!

Emergency! I live to serve! You’re low! Smells like bacon! Eat sugar!

Side benefit, put translator collar on current, emotional disturb dog. Just like use Bubs’s sugar meter for diagnosing self ailment, could use Li’l Margaret Cho’s translator collar diagnose current dog issues.

Whoa. Whoa. WHOA! Not cool! Not cool! That prick UPS guy is on the porch! Shit! Shit! Shit! Why isn’t he leav—motherfucker rang the doorbell!

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14May / 2012

It Diabetes Blog Day #1: Find Friend

Happy Diabetes Blog Week! It Day One. Theme = Find Friend. What if no one choose Bigfoot for friend? That OK. Kind of new here. Worse: what if someone think Bigfoot will certainly choose for friend, and Bigfoot not choose? Also, Bigfoot probably only choose very obvious blog, not secret undiscovered treasure. This topic a minefield of potential social injury. Part of Bigfoot think must be misunderstand topic. Et alors…

Bigfoot recommend create diabetes-safe commune with

MOMMIES

Shannon <—bring experience, so funny, make Bigfoot feel sane: Oh and I also told him to come by and pick up some ketone strips if he wanted to. Because I just can’t leave it at pizza party advocacy; I have to take it to the maybe-you-should-pee-on-a-stick-to-make-sure-you’re-not-gonna-go-into-DKA level.

ZDub <—not sure but might be professional bartender: by the time I got back to my desk it was 11 p.m. and who can even remember what I was going to tell you in the first place. So I paid the water bill online, read some TMZ, researched learning to knit (so I can open an etsy shop selling squirrel sweaters), and then I went to bed.

Reyna <—acid-funny, plus actual RN I wanna stand in the middle of the Four Square square with the ball as my hostage and I wanna say some things to these little kids like “do you know how lucky you are to be able to eat crackers from a box …. or chips from a bag … or cookies from a sleeve?”

Queen <—serious smart, thoughtful, know what doing, balance (from my top 10 things that I appreciate about diabetes) 9a.  our visits to the pediatric endocrinologist at our children’s hospital every three months give me a reason to take a day off of work and spend it with Madeline

ACTUAL DIABETIC PERSONS

Amelia + Wonderdog<—young woman inspire Bigfoot, so good explain T1 experience, also have adorable + smart hypoglycemia awareness dogs When I was a kid people would see me taking a shot or testing my blood or they’d see my insulin pump and they would ask my mom “what’s wrong with her?” My mom, being the wonderful mother that she is, wouldn’t let that rude way of asking about my diabetes fly.  Her response would always be “nothing.  Nothing is wrong with her.”

Kerri<—no one not know Kerri. Kerri interesting balance of IS A MOMMY + IS ACTUAL DIABETIC PERSON. Videos perfect for inspire T1 child Immediately, I wanted to swing mine over my head like a lasso and say “OMG lady, me too!!!” I’ve had this feeling before, of wanting to sidle up next to someone and say, “I like your pump; want to see my pump?”

Martin<—sassy + fun man, make T1 experience feel fully horrible yet manageable same time And by the way, this is my blog post, and I call it Nutella, not Noo-tella…because there’s a freaking “nut” in it. YPONMV. (Your pronunciation of Nutella may vary.)

Moments of Wonderful<— T1 woman diagnosed as adult! Thorough. Clear. Fun  I even write love poems and design “Keep Calm” posters to display my love of the lancing device.

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05May / 2012

Rhucarb Crisp

this was funny, because it was a jpeg of an illustration from THE RUNAWAY BUNNY
And if you have high blood sugar, I’ll become a ketone strip, and you will pee on me.

9PM: 126. Nice! Bigfoot think, maybe tonight OK if sleep. Check again 10PM: 88. Now think: probably mid-plummet, need stay awake, check again 12AM, if >88, OK sleep. If <88, force Bubs wake up/drink pink lemonade/brush teeth.

Need new section Margaret Wise Brown The Runaway Bunny: If you are hypoglycemic in your sleep, then I will become a hypoglycemia awareness dog, and I will save you.

Instead of Runaway Bunny for bedtime, Bigfoot reading Nero. Boys love this story. So far. Bigfoot not read whole thing yet, maybe become inappropriate later on. Good parts where girl feed guard dog Nero gingersnaps.

Wish could become hypoglycemia awareness dog right now, climb in Bubs’s bed/sleep, confident wake up if danger.

(this was merely a picture of rhubarb)
Welcome back, rhubarb.
(Apologize not able un-bold this.)
Meanwhile, today debut episode new cooking show Rhubarb Crisp: The Diabetes. Crisp in oven when realize few things could try:

1. Less rhubarb, more berries = use less sugar

2. Utilize Wondrous Coconut Tree product (lower glycemic index?)

3. Sweeten fruit part w/ Stevia? (0g instead of 150g)

4. Use almond flour in crisp part (6g net carbs instead of 40g)

5. Use chopped walnuts instead of oats? (8g carbs instead of 30g)

Scratch head. Frown. Wish thought of substitutions earlier. If re-make w/ substitutions, would be about 225g carbs for whole thing, divide by 8…approximately 25g/serving? But maybe taste too terrible actually eat: 0g carbs + tragic waste rhubarb.

Maybe try this pie crust for Jack favorite summer dessert? Hope remember.

Also need make many cakes because this blog feature Greek yogurt cream cheese frosting gingerbread cupcakes + other delights right up Bigfoot alley.

Or maybe need stop make so much dessert?

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09Mar / 2012

Not Go

Still from the 4-minute Turkish animated film Don't Go.

Bigfoot attend school lunch. Morning Bubs say, I would like to eat with you, even if you don’t have time to go to Five Guys. I just like spending time with you. Very nice! Of course Bigfoot comply. Not able bring special delivery—only apple, little knife, cutting board. Sit with Bubs + bubbly Chinese classmate, literally bounce peanut butter sandwich on table between bite. Conversation around custom Lego minifigure. Fun. Not relevant friend Chinese, Bigfoot kind of provincial.

After lunch, visit Dream Nurse. 50 carbs. Dream Nurse have Bubs calculate dose, Bigfoot experience vague sensation persons gathering outside doorway during injection. It true. Tiny boy in sun yellow wheelchair there, aide beside. Vomit cover lap, Dream Nurse so compose, tell Bigfoot I guess we should make a plan for you to show me the pump next week, but I need to deal with this situation now. Tiny boy face same expression Bubs face: know something wrong, but not worry. Know adult handle it OK.

Little they know, adult so messed up: bury face in dog neck, call dog my little Irish gentleman!/ make repeated smooch noise; give insulin correction (300+ at dinner)/cause tank in night (55), force awake sing Yaz “Don’t Go,” (inspire by PCFF film class film)–try force drink orange juice/eat candy corn, then force brush teeth–let sleep fifteen minute, test again (64), make up let’s see if it goes up more in ten minutes instead of wake up/force eat (85), decide ten more minutes? Sure; research slack lines/poplin shirt/LL Bean Signature/feel bad about eat too much mini eggs at Arts Night; did ten minutes go by yet?/I don’t know/Check the meter!/three minutes/Is it time yet?(73)/Should I give him more candy? Seven? Seven candy corn? They’re only two each? Hear spouse say, “Sweet pea? I have to wake you up now. You have to eat more candy.” Hear Bubs cry in sleep, then, “It’s only five days until my birthday!”

Bigfoot have second thoughts $20,000 hypoglycemia dog. Even dog make mistake—New Yorker article re face transplant mention drunk woman wake up, find golden retriever ate lips/nose while passed out. Bigfoot not sure what dog think, but sure dog good intention while eat owner face. Hypoglycemia dog maybe just one more being Bigfoot second guess, get in line behind self, spouse, endocrinologist, Animas representative, cousin-in-law push fish oil, Drs. Weil/Oz, Sam Talbot (egg white blueberry thing), et al.

For good news: chocolate So Delicious coconut milk now in little lunch box size: 9g carbs.

For shocking news: one month supply test strips: $435.

11:15PM blood sugar 107. Formulate plan: let’s check again after some Daily Shows and as long as it’s not going back down, let’s say we’re in the clear/Okay?/Okay/Yeah. I just want to to be over/Yeah.

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02Mar / 2012

Seizure-y

What lengths will you go to for an extra one of these?

Bubs’s Lantus dose 9u now. 7u before. Coro Center nurse advise test 2AM one or two times, make sure not go too low in night. Tell Bigfoot not need worry, Bubs “is just a normal, growing boy with diabetes.”

As imagine, Bigfoot not 100% keen on 2AM finger prick. Therefore agree camp out by fire, try make mild homestyle adventure. Bubs in sleeping bag, Bigfoot on sofa. Two new New Yorker magazine arrive while Bigfoot in Bahamas, eager read article with Darwin/altruism/vampire bat regurgitate blood into mouth of starving fellow vampire bat.

Settle in by fire. Bigfoot have magazine open, sheepskin spread over sofa, big duvet all to self. Alarm set 2AM. Bubs in sleeping bag, rosy cheeks, hair damp from shower.

BUBS: I feel like I can’t fall asleep

BFOOT: Maybe you’re too hot

BUBS: Yeah

BFOOT: Let’s skooch you away from the fire

BUBS: OK (sets sleeping bag and pillow up a few feet further away from the fire)

BFOOT: (goes back to reading vampire bat article)

BUBS: Or maybe I can’t fall asleep because I just feel so low

BFOOT: You do? (Hops up to get finger pricker. Bubs handles the pricker and runs the test)

BUBS: 39

BFOOT: Thirty-nine? Really? (Runs into kitchen to get candy corn)

BUBS: I’m sorry

BFOOT: It’s not your fault! Are you eating those?

BUBS: It is my fault. I should have told you sooner

BFOOT: Did you eat all seven?

BUBS: Yeah

BFOOT: Did you feel low and not say something?

BUBS: No

BFOOT: It’s not your fault! Honey, you know it’s not your fault at all

BUBS: My legs feel weird. They feel all…seizure-y

BFOOT: They do? (Starts rubbing his legs)

BUBS: Yeah, it’s like I can control them and make them stay still but it’s really really hard to

Sam Fuld is not Sam Talbot

Now at 99. Bigfoot pause. Think. What different? Switch cow milk for sugarfree coconut milk, unsweet almond milk. Also Girl Scout cookies arrive. Also, swim YMCA minnow no guppy (rigorous.) But what if LANTUS whopper dose the problem—low come back again, again, again? Really need hypoglycemia awareness dog. Ask spouse check again: 137.

Sam Talbot eats sauteed broccoli rabe for a snack

Meanwhile, for happy thing, Sam Talbot cookbook arrive. Bigfoot recommend. Sam Talbot so handsome, so healthy, Type 1 since age 12, professional chef, surfer, book of recipe also have practical advice for how carry syringe in pocket, how organize supplies in home, how bring all need in waterproof box for surf. Still huge hassle but gorgeous book make feel better this topic. Wee bit. Bigfoot family decide make pilgrimage Montauk, find Sam Talbot restaurant. Book feature photo Sam Talbot test blood sugar–same blue meter as Bubs, but Sam Talbot meter all scratched up (sandy lifestyle).

Lemon ricotta pancake. Sam Talbot say eat only one time in year because splurge. Sam Talbot limit carbs under 90/day (20-30/meal.) Bigfoot so far away this goal.

One Samoa cookie: 10g carbs. Seems like should be more.

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04Feb / 2012

Good Thing

It's a good diabetes thing.

Bigfoot start Pinterest board for GOOD DIABETES. Off to slow start, but E for effort. Have one Kreatelier Epipen satchel, hypoglycemia awareness dog picture, beloved diabetes blogs, So Delicious Sugar Free Coconut Milk. There anything else?

In fantasy, other good things for diabetes: Bubs take SAT for as much time as need, maybe allow cheat some way, get perfect score, attend Swarthmore free of charge. Also: diabetes force Bubs interested science, become endocrinologist, male version Dr. Doughnut, also find cure, inspire parade, dance “running man” on parade float. This too: maybe Bubs become magnet for nice people, who enjoy idea look out for friend, repel delinquent character w/no time for sickness.

 

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19Sep / 2011

386 <—abominable

A keytone---not actual size.

386. This a very high blood sugar, and it Bubs’s before dinner today. This following URI Political Science 50th Anniversary Party.

Ask Bubs to pee on a strip—he look so worried. “Am I going to have ketones?” Tell him well, we’ll see. Bigfoot spouse and Bigfoot follow Bubs to toilet. Hover-hover-hover. Count fifteen seconds, see ketone portion of strip not change from color of 1970s stewardess Avon foundation makeup. Blood sugar portion of strip change color like gangbusters, but doctor administering Chuckydoll study say ignore that bit.

This mean blood sugar meter not working—wait, or—possible have blood sugar this high with no ketones? Not even Trace Ketones or Small Ketones. Something wrong.

Also, why blood sugar high after URI party? Give plenty insulin cover University Dining Services BBQ chicken, Diet Dr. Pepper, 2″ square bakery sheetcake and 3″ x 2″ brownie. Bigfoot consult multiple entries on MyFitnessPal, obtain data feel confident, do injection. Maybe problem is Bigfoot and Bigfoot spouse not clear on size of imperial inch. Maybe Bubs getting flu.

Coincidentally as Bigfoot first consider this possibility, Jack ask, “What’s that disease, it sounds like Illinois?” Bigfoot know what he mean immediately, “Pneumonia?” But Bigfoot not psychic—it proven fact. Last week in Shaw’s have strong urge buy loathed Rhode Island Lottery Scratch Ticket. Theme baseball. Feel very drawn to this, even though hate whole scratch ticket scene. Decide follow intuition. Bigfoot team score FIVE. Opponent score SIX.

Bigfoot never enjoy University parties, only attend because father-in-law very popular professor retiring, many people make speech about he so awesome. These parties full of 1960′s era women who think it a shame Bigfoot not have big career in traditionally masculine field. During party recap/recovery time Bigfoot spouse ask, Who in particular do you mean? What did they say to make you think this? Bigfoot think only of one woman, not even in Political Science department, incident circa 2005, Bigfoot never recover, maybe overgeneralize about this demographic. Basis maybe not sound, but feeling still true.

Butter resting in shrub with alter ego, Trace, the crackerjack hypoglycemic awareness dog.

Bubs and Bigfoot begin research hypoglycemic awareness dogs. Seem exclusive South Dakota, Colorado, Northern California, and Virginia. This interesting to know. Why South Dakota so advanced? Probably because drink so much factory farm cow milk.

Also learn there no license for service dog accompany person into library, cafe, etc. Tempted pretend Butter a diabetes dog, get him little vest, take him places. Too bad he have history bite mailman. Maybe he go by pseudonym in public No, this isn’t Butter, this is Trace Ketones, our diabetes dog. Please don’t pat him. He’s working.

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Bigfoot say other thing

Bigfoot sure this not right placement Pinterest button

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