Hello, Anxiety Clinic Patron

Habit enhancing drug

Bigfoot not want betray privacy, but often see known persons Hasbro Pediatric Anxiety Clinic. Just for record, Bigfoot not say large hello because not sure etiquette. Seem preferred pretend not see known person this place, like evangelical Republican bump into colleague at gay club.

Of course Bigfoot child anxious: have diabetes! Of course Bigfoot not embarrass when spotted Pediatric Anxiety Clinic waiting room. Bigfoot only embarrassed when therapist notice fiddle obsessively cuticles, can’t stop fiddling even when notice therapist notice Bigfoot notice therapist notice.

Other minor embarrassment occur waiting room, Bigfoot son play Doodlejump on iPhone 3G (understated retro, if hang on bit longer), other families in waiting room use iPad; many dyad parent and child each have own iPad. Today Bubs only have National Geographic Kids magazine, Wolves! issue because Bigfoot urgently need email friend just spotted Pediatric Anxiety Clinic, explain why not say bigger hello.

Hello!

Meanwhile, Bubs high all day. Dream Nurse posit maybe coincidence home insulin and school insulin simultaneous stop function well? Dream Nurse dismiss theory, can’t jump conclusion one day high blood sugar. LogFrog graph so ugly–all spiky up high, only one normal, a 158: C minus of OK blood sugar. F, F, F, F, F, F, C-, F. Good night, sweetie-beans. Bigfoot check Lantus bottle. Magenta Sharpie “12-18″ on label in Bigfoot best handwriting. No one ever solve mystery intended meaning: this date for open on or throw away on?

Cry, Cry Baby

In the video for Cee Lo Green's song about diabetes, Jaleel White plays Cee Lo's personification of the defective, yet eerily liberated, pancreas of a recently diagnosed child.

At perfect time, Bigfoot see Cee Lo Green Cry Baby video. Now it only seem funny to cry—it crack Bigfoot up. Jaleel White fist-twist dance push act of crying over edge into ridiculous. Bigfoot very responsive to faux-cruel teasing when feel vulnerable. This why minister at First Unitarian Church in Providence a good boss, also why love man barely know for ridicule Bigfoot when bring bottled dressing to pot luck supper.

This morning drop Bubs off at school, he turn back for bonus hug two, three, four, maybe five time. Not just for Bigfoot bonus hug but also for Jack. Sigh, “Bye, Jacky. Have a good day. Hug?” Repeat. Then he motion Bigfoot bend down for secret: I really do not want to do this anymore. All day Bigfoot haunted by this statement. Bubs mean not want to…go to school? Have disease? Be driven to school in car instead of bus? Dramatic pause: live?

Once again, school nurse keep Bubs out of coma. Bigfoot tell her again how lucky feel she there. I don’t know what we would do if you weren’t here. Her response, “Well, it gives me a purpose! This is what I’m trained to do. This is my profession!” She mention some kids curious what Bubs doing with finger poke, etc. and suggest perhaps soon time to address topic to get it out of the way. Additionally, she offer Bigfoot tutorial in use Glucagon pen on citrus fruit, think it good demystify giant needle, maybe Bigfoot not shudder when mention the dreadful, slim red case.

On drive home, Bigfoot ask Bubs if some kids watch him with blood sugar test kit, ask if classmates curious what he doing huddled over by sink in classroom with nurse.

BUBS: Yeah! They asked me what I was eating!

BFOOT: What do you tell them?

BUBS: I told them they’re big giant sugar tablets that taste like strawberries!

BFOOT: Did you tell them why you were eating them?

BUBS: No, because they’re jealous of me. You know? It’s really fun when people are jealous. Usually people don’t even notice me, but now they all want to know about the glucose tablets!

BFOOT: Are you going to tell them about your diabetes soon? Because I bet they’re wondering.

Simulation--this not Bigfoot, but this Bigfoot new pants.

BUBS: Nah, they don’t care about that. They only care about the tablets.

It obvious everyone—Bigfoot and Bubs anyway, pretty sure Bigfoot spouse and Jack felt pretty normal this month thanks to Bigfoot freak out enough for family of 4 or more—feel better at this point. Try not imagine sugar nibbling away at heart, eyes, kidneys, capillaries, other essential life system. Try not imagine thyroid disease problem begin. Try not imagine needle piercing skin, thighs speckle with bruise. It easy grab mental picture make Bigfoot cry. Then think Jaleel White dance.

However, it important maintain some bit bad feeling because Bigfoot buy awesome orange-red cords that may not fit if regain weight lost due to anxiety.

Uh oh. It happening tomorrow.

10 grams of carbs here.

It happening. School begin tomorrow. Bigfoot not freak out, instead have revelation: no one feel sorry for Bubs because Type 1 Diabetes not so, so bad. Maybe 17% people have worse health situation, no need to list other things possibly go wrong. If include bad personality as health problem maybe stat go up to 25%.

Today Bubs practice school lunch and snack. That not true, Bigfoot force Bubs do this; he barely drag along this exercise. Choose for 10:00AM snack: mini Luna bar (White Chocolate Macadamia, 10 grams carbs) and Sobe LifeWater Zero (Strawberry Apricot flavor with green cap, 0 net carbs). Result: blood sugar 77 two hours later. That kind of low. Moving on.

For lunch, Bubs invent disgusting thing, Bigfoot try to maintain facial expression of disinterest: “Ham Snacks” (=8 Ritz crackers with bag of ham, form into 4 mini sandwiches in lunch room/at kitchen counter) 20 carbs; vanilla milk, 31 carbs; Pirate Booty baggie, 10 carbs; tube yogurt, 11 carbs. Inject 2 units insulin. Result: Bigfoot spouse take Bubs to Seekonk Grand Prix, medical bag with ice pack along for field trip.

Remeber, it's just your friend Daniel.

Bigfoot try to think of way entice Jack see Rise of the Planet of the Apes starring James Franco. Think this seem like very appealing macho movie, genuine treat for 10-year-old boy. He say no thanks, it too scary. Bigfoot kind of want to pressure him do this anyway. It very humid outside and sound like good story with familiar face from Freaks and Geeks, animal rights, Alzheimers disease, and cognitive behavior therapy all mention on kids-in-mind dot com as intellectual topics for post-film discuss.

Other part of practice for school tomorrow, get up at 6:30AM. It not so hard. Spouse get up first, make thermos of tea, fry up package of bacon (this Bubs’s request for first day of school special, then say “I don’t even want stupid bacon! You can have it!” then Joe make it and he eat it all up. This remind Bigfoot, better buy more bacon.

Hurricane not fun

Bigfoot find this picture Irene 1999.

Bigfoot neighborhood evacuate for hurricane Irene. It not mandatory, only recommend. Think it important be able to reach hospital with Bubs in Glucagon style emergency. This overreacting? Mother- and father-in-law accommodate whole family in Kingston home. It difficult settle in, especially for dog. Maybe dog have barometric pressure change-induced migraine.

On way to refugee home, stop at Bertucci’s for dinner. Initial contact with waiter, Bigfoot request nutrition information for children’s menu, and waiter launch into speedy talk using unctuos Kasey Kasem voice. “Obviously, you won’t want a pizza or pasta, I could make you a chicken breast with no breading and a side of broccoli, or salad might be a good choice…” Bigfoot not understand this un-interruptable flow of language ensue from waiter head, but Bigfoot spouse offer magnanimous smile say, “My wife needs the information for our son. He is diabetic.”

Then Bigfoot understand. Immediately say, “I am not even chubby! I am not even the chubbiest person at this table of not-chubby people!” Waiter give sidelong glance Bigfoot spouse, launch into more speedy talk about he rugby football player, want to bond over athlete nutrition requirement. Bigfoot wonder why he imagine chubby woman want order child 12 and under meal—assume she jonesing for complimentary Hoodsie cup at end?

One Bertucci dinner roll have 28 carbs. Bubs estimate he want to eat three. From menu, he select rigatoni and cheese. And Hoodsie cup. This highest carb meal in diabetes history, but Coro Center endocrinologist say OK have many carb as long as have insulin to match. MyFitnessPal estimate this meal total 175 carbs! Take deep breath, inject 5 units insulin for 1:40 ratio. Later learn it not enough, maybe should have consult creepy Calorie King. Bubs have high bedtime blood sugar—too shameful mention specific number, also not remember specific number and too chubby get up/walk across room to look at meter, but it enough over 300 to shock. Hurricane already disaster.

Hope next bad thing happen more mild: home lose power, all Quorn chick’n patty and bagged mango chunk thaw, become trash. Or towel left spinning in dryer not thoroughly dry out, permanent mold smell settle in, have to buy new towel and new Quorn chick’n patty. Bigfoot think that fine, just beg Irene no destroy home/retina/cornea/heart/liver.

On bright side, no forget diabetes supply. Also Irene maybe grow weaker, mess with Western Connecticut, become mere tropical storm not hurricane for Rhode Island. Sorry for CT brethren misfortune, but seriously, Bigfoot not care as much about you as you maybe thought.

Kwikpen at America’s Douchiest Colleges

Juniper

Bubs need smaller dose insulin now. Ratio one unit : forty carb. This mean Bigfoot need use one unit dose some of time, but Kwikpen release only unenthusiastic dribble drop, not genuine unit. For two-unit dose, Kwikpen spray with gusto. For one unit it say, “meh. I’ll give you a little droplet, I guess.”

Bigfoot ask endocrinology nurse this seem correct? She say she never try Kwikpen only one unit, “I’ll get my Kwikpen out right now and see.” Bigfoot hear rummage-rummage sound, then, “OK, I’m priming it with two units, yep, and there’s a nice spray for two units. OK, and yup. For one unit I do get a definite spray, but a much shorter spray of course, and then a droplet. Your pen may be defective.”

Bigfoot huge fan of Patagonia return policy, also L.L. Bean, so ask, “Do you think I can take it back to CVS for a new one?” Nurse say, “Sure. They’ll alert the manufacturer that there may be a problem with that lot.” Bigfoot call CVS. They say come to store, pick up new case Kwikpen (5-pack) right now. Bigfoot feel pretty sure new pen also not work but that may only be craptastic mood, not rational thought.

CVS pharmacy staff very kind for diabetic family. No one CVS ever show concern when Bigfoot present mundane ailment such as psoriasis, dandruff, yeast infection, depression, conjunctivitis, anxiety, seasonal allergy, sinus infection, louse infestation, migraine. Not ailment of Bigfoot self, of course. Bigfoot never have problem—it amazing. Young man pharmacist trainee even help Bigfoot find blood glucose meter replacement battery. Here is hint: it reside in battery department. Official diabetes medicine snake icon on package.

Many part of day quite fine. Bubs and Jack swim with friends indoor and then outdoor at YMCA, fun ladyfriend by side listen Bigfoot rattle off long list of problem and anxiety, not give advice, just agree it suck.

Later in day visit Juniper on Thayer Street for addictive tangy frozen yogurt top with assorted fruits microdiced by family of Korean perfectionists. If not enjoy fresh microdice of fruits, may choose Fruity Pebbles cereal. Juniper yogurt contain many carb, so no need try make Kwikpen deliver one unit. That a relief.

Entire conversation with endocrinology nurse take place in Urban Outfitters books section. Bubs’s open blood glucose chart block other patron access to America’s Douchiest Colleges. Bigfoot not notice Bucknell University listed, it probably not rigorous enough land in glossy humor book, but Bigfoot get caught in reverie of water polo team members wear woven leather belts with long, dangly excess belt hang along fly of Bermuda short—Bigfoot not 100% sure but Bermuda douche short circa 1993 probably even have pleat. This look remain popular in current era among some Sowams School parent, it kind of thrill rub shoulders with genuine, guileless douche in gymnasium-cafeteria. Almost same as come across Renaissance Faire Lord or Lady in Shaw’s.

Bigfoot discover new market for sealing wax

Bubs no pass out. Freaks and Geeks episode with Norseman mascot too funny to remain upright

On way Starbucks (Bigfoot want medium decaf soy latte, 2 extra shots, extra hot, no foam) and bookstore (hope purchase Type 1 diabetes children cookbook there), make grave error: look in public library diabetes book area.

All available diabetes title extraordinarily dreary and have laparoscopic photography back of eyeballs/interior body organs, all severely damage. Sole book without laparoscopic horror show is dreaded yellow “For Dummies” book. Type One Diabetes For Dummies open with extremely terrible words, not make reader desire continue. Information this type belong sealed envelope glued in back of book, wax seal, print in large font “Warning: never open.” or similar.

Dewey decimal situate diabetes on shelf adjacent depression and very close cookbook for baking delicious cake, serve on shabby chic plate, surround by grateful friends and outdoor lanterns. Spectrum of human experience always interesting but Bigfoot prefer old time when could be obsessed with barefoot running and training emotionally disturbed dog. Anyway, it easy to see happy lantern cake people all assholes, if look closely at photograph. Man gingham shirt buttoned one button too high, wear unrealistic shoes, seethe with rage over wardrobe for photo shoot, maybe have celiac disease, no one care.

Barrington Public Library have excellent selection graphic novel. Bigfoot conclude better to focus on Teen Room, avoid nonfiction area.

Bubs seem at top of game all day although he have two low blood sugar reading. Both in 60′s. That not true. One time get 51. This not so bad, fix with tasty snack. Disconcerting aspect is Bubs not notice any symptom of low blood sugar, he merry as ever. He so chatty, “Pretty much my only special skill is balancing my toothbrush on the shower handle,” list fact about meaning of assorted color light saber, and all with very few break for silence. Bubs invent acceptable diabetes snack: one slice sharp provolone cheese embrace two slices ham. Last week Bigfoot think ham morally reprehensible, now Bigfoot not give a shit. It easy not think of tortured pig and disgusting hygiene in cold cuts manufacturing facility.


Bigfoot say other thing

Bigfoot sure this not right placement Pinterest button

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