Tag Archives: coconut

18Mar / 2013

Whither Mini-Luna?

photo

Just like the real Luna: a cookie with some hazy credibility that makes it potentially a not completely embarrassing meal instead of just a 1979 dessert

Long story short then long: not able acquire mini-size Luna bar. No more Target. No more Amazon. (This 11g CHO mini size perfect for close-to-maybe-low BG before recess.)

Find recipe. Make. Too sweet! Argh! Bigfoot teeth! Make again. Too crumbly. Mess! Make again. Little crumble but perfect otherwise.

BIGFOOT: It’s supposed to be like a Luna bar. Do you think it’s like a Luna bar?

BUBS: Mmmm

JACK: I don’t know. But it’s really good

Pull these out of your standard medium-brow pantry: brown rice krispies, cocoa powder, protein powder, unsweetened coconut, ground flax, coconut oil, coconut nectar, almond butter, milk chocolate chips

Pull these out of your latte-sipping/volvo-driving pantry: brown rice krispies, cocoa powder, protein powder, unsweetened coconut, ground flax, coconut oil, coconut nectar**, almond butter, milk chocolate chips

Amounts + carb math:

The mathematical proof for 9g CHO per sixteenth.

The mathematical proof for 9g CHO per sixteenth.

Soy protein powder skeeve Bigfoot out little bit but no apparent flavor upon enter bar.

Faux Mini Luna Bars

in the style of chocolate dipped coconut Luna bars

Line an 8 x 8 dish with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, combine 2c (60g) brown rice cereal, 1/2 c (50g) ground flax, 1/2 c (40g) unsweetened coconut, one ounce (one scoop/ 28g) protein powder, and 1T (5g) cocoa powder. Mix this all up with your hands and squeeze hard to smash some of the crispy cereal until less than half of the cereal pieces are still puffed up. Obviously at this point you’ll want to rinse off your hands.

In a small saucepan, melt together 1T coconut oil, 6T (100g) almond butter, and 1/4 c (75g) coconut nectar. Stir around until everything is melted together, then scrape every last bit of it into the dry ingredients and fold it all together with a rubber scraper until everything is combined. Press this firmly into the parchment-lined dish.

Without washing the saucepan, melt together 1 tsp. coconut oil and 1/4c (60g) chocolate chips. The coconut oil will make the melted chocolate nice and runny so you can spread it easily over the bars. Spread the melted chocolate (easily) over the bars and freeze for one hour. Use a sharp knife or bench scraper to cut 16 bars and tell everyone they have 9g each if you trust my math. Store in an airtight container in the fridge or freezer.

After neatly labeling and sealing up and closing the freezer door, realize you could have purchased Chocolate-Dipped Coconut Luna bars and cut them into smaller pieces.

Sprinkling coconut over the melted chocolate was kind of a dick move. Real Luna bars don't have anything like that going on.

Sprinkling coconut over the melted chocolate was kind of a dick move. Real Luna bars don’t have anything like that going on.

**Coconut nectar: allegedly low glycemic index.

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04Nov / 2011

It happen

Green beans: 1

Today Bubs walk over to skillet trimmed raw green bean, waiting there for dinnertime get cooked. Exclaim, “greeeeen beans!” Chomp raw bean.

Eight years old. This mark first time Bubs initiate own vegetable consumption. For eon, Bigfoot endure asshole parent suggest “If your children see you enjoying vegetables, they’ll want to eat them too!” and “It takes fifteen tries to get a new taste incorporated into a child’s pleasure repertoire!”

Bigfoot try not make big deal out of bean, not want scare child away from pan. Net result: Bubs eat one bean. Bigfoot ask, “Aren’t they good raw?” Bubs nod, so enthusiastic. Bigfoot keep eye on pan. Visitor not return.

It get dark. Bigfoot spouse ride bicycle home, long journey. Jack and Bubs seem hungry, or at least Bigfoot want them be hungry so can test Bubs blood sugar as smooth move not test as a worrywart hover mother. All day use 1:20 insulin ratio, this double amount at beginning of week, Bubs low at school before P.E. today. Low again after play on playground. These facts all just build suspense. Point of story: Bubs blood sugar OK and also ask taste massaman curry.

Recommended brand of Massaman curry paste

It Bigfoot first attempt make favorite variety Thai curry at home. Taste just like restaurant because use can of massaman curry from actual Thailand, no improvise seasoning with own brain. This probably not nutritious at all: potato-carrot-peanut cook in coconut milk, serve with (white) jasmine rice. Bubs think too spicy (it not spicy) and only try potato and rice (two food Bigfoot role model Jillian Michaels/Michelle Obama avoid). But Bigfoot feel glad Bubs volunteer to try new food.

Meanwhile, Bigfoot read about stinky bathroom on Six Until Me: There was a man in there before you from the hearing center. A diabetic … you know how that smells. I’ve been trying to clean it up but that smell lingers. What? Diabetic pee smell worse than ordinary pee? Bigfoot never notice. Bigfoot notice bad smell in bathroom, chalk up to poor aim of youth in rush, urine saturate tile grout. Next day chalk up to natural toilet cleaner, smell like zoo animal urine on wood chip. Maybe this all diabetic pee smell? Bigfoot generally not enjoy smell of urine.

Smell get worse lockstep with high blood sugar number?

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30Sep / 2011

Whoopie pie not require Buddha Bowl

pretty sure this photo is from the uncommon good catalogue

Diabetes encourage whole family modify eating habit. Example #1: Bigfoot command everyone use Buddha Bowl. This adorable bowl perfect size for meal, good for portion control. Come in good color name like: black bean, tofu, butter, shitake. Everyone like cozy thumb hole, also interior of bowl handle area look like butt. Tee hee. Bigfoot family often eat bowl-y foods: beans and rice, fruit/yogurt parfait, noodles, soup, other cheap/elite meal. Sadly, Bigfoot realize too late Buddha Bowl not appropriate size for granola portion.

and this one from Bon Appetit magazine

Example #2: Bigfoot stop baking so much bread and cookie. Therefore, Bigfoot give Jack secret access whoopie pie array Fridays after drop Bubs at school, practice for spelling test while drive over bridge Tom’s Market. Spell “chocolate,” spell “abyss,” spell “zombie.” Jack choose exotic flavor whoopie pie like Banana Creme or Pumpkin Spice. Today Jack select Hostess Snoballs (orange color for upcoming holiday). It a balancing act. That not true, it all sugarcakes. Probably two Snoball nice, snug fit in Buddha Bowl.

Example #3: what do for Halloween? It pretty lame give themed pencil or glow-in-dark eyeball. Bigfoot realize not actually have Example #3 but learn from Tina Fey program always have three example even if #3 just to point out realize have no #3. Done.

Today school nurse teach Bubs’s class about diabetes. Bubs very nervous. Bigfoot explain he not need participate except listen. School nurse have teen daughter with school project, create model of vein, muscle cell, and sugar molecule, loan it to mother/nurse. This school nurse for real? It all true. Paste email from nurse. Bigfoot feel proud moment, then sad moment when read:

Hi [Bigfoot],

We just finished and [Bubs] did come up and show off his insulin pen and his meter and demonstrated how he would test his blood sugar- without actually doing it as I didn’t want to have an extra stick if needed. Mrs. [Superteacher] said later if he wants to he can show his friends how he does it when I come for a routine check.

He did exactly as you said at first, looking at the floor but then when kids were asking questions he jumped in to answer. I think it went well.  One student asked if it will get better, and Mrs. [Superteacher] had a good response and said it is kind of like having to wear eye glasses. You will always need to wear them, your eyes needs the glasses to see better, just like the body needs insulin to use the sugar for energy in the body.

We tried to end it on a positive note that Drs. and scientists are working hard to find a cure and hopefully someday he won’t need insulin shots but that [Bubs] is doing a great job managing this condition. I thanked [Bubs] in front of the class for allowing us to share this information to teach others. The class seemed very caring about this.

[Supernurse]

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22Aug / 2011

I would quit

I can not imagine B. going to school for real in one week. We don’t even wake up until 8:30, twenty minutes after the Pledge of Allegiance begins each morning.

The school nurse at X school in Barrington reported to a parent that she intended to keep the diabetic child “a little high” in order to avoid lows. Because she’d rather avoid the danger/urgency of a low than contribute to the child’s long-term health by avoiding a high. I hate this. Our school’s nurse will be better. If I were a school nurse and a diabetic child came into my care, I would just quit my job.

Daily Scoop’s scooper said a small consists of three ounces of ice cream. No. It was at least ten ounces. It was chocolate ice cream streaked with globs of peanut butter cookie dough. That’s a stupid afternoon snack.

Here are things I did like today: I had coffee with a good friend in the morning; the boys played in the YMCA pool for 75 minutes with a yellow water polo ball and didn’t fight at all and looked so healthy and strong; also I liked the green beans and tempeh I made for dinner. Fried in coconut oil and had a brown rice syrupy sauce.

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15Aug / 2011

This all quite big hassle for Bigfoot

Bigfoot star in insomnia drama, put foot in mouth each time speak. Bigfoot ashamed upon mental replay day:

  • ask woman Bigfoot barely know (same sex partner sit beside in church pew), “Were you going through a divorce the last time we met?”
  • also Bigfoot complain to wife of head of endocrinology Brown University that pediatric endocrinologist have brusque demeanor, then learn they BFFs. That not accurate–only attend same Christmas party.
  • what more, Bigfoot tell recovering alcoholic Bigfoot think anyone benefit from 12 step program, “even people without addictions, but who just have bad personalities.”
  • for grand finale, Bigfoot tell mother-in-law no remember poem she type for Jack on his first birthday, even after she tell Bigfoot, “But I know it really touched you, because I distinctly remember that you cried when you read it.” Bigfoot tell her in breezy tone, “Well, I’ve never been much of an archivist–if it was in a birthday card I probably recycled it.” Everyone gracious to Bigfoot despite.

He seem quite normal

After astronomically too long time, Bigfoot read notes from diabetes lesson, they in blue marble composition book Bigfoot not recall purchase–it have unpleasant texture paper and blue same color as “The Price is Right” stage set. Bigfoot a good note-taker but not good at absorb knowledge. This why Bigfoot not Ph.D. in cultural anthropology, also Bigfoot not know must give Bubs snack at bedtime if blood sugar < 120. Tonight Bigfoot read this note, wake child to feed 15 gram carb snack worth of So Delicious Coconut Milk Ice Cream. (Vanilla. He ask pleasantly, “Is this red velvet flavor?” Bigfoot concern lack of sugar destroy taste buds. Hope not permanent.) Bigfoot very afraid if need use Glucagon injection, it seem too terrible poke big needle into child like Pulp Fiction scene.

Bigfoot unnecessarily recreate table for record blood sugar. Brain infected with notion it better if table on 8 1/2 x 11 paper with 2 weeks per side, double sided, then three hole punch, put in magenta trim Russel + Hazel binder for storage when complete. It take forever, but now Bigfoot expert make table in Microsoft Word. Have varied borders and shading, chic text box label each meal, it look very nice but Bigfoot too tired to print. Continue use ugly spiral record book, complimentary Eli Lilly.

Spouse scold Bigfoot not asleep yet, while have opportunity. Bigfoot take 2 Ativan, try be less asshole tomorrow.

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Bigfoot say other thing

Bigfoot sure this not right placement Pinterest button

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