D said/B said & a little bit of E said

Being without a Dexcom is not an emergency unless you are an addict. Dexcom is my meth. Once you do diabetes with Dexcom, it is extremely wretched to not have one. A smart commenter wrote here that she used to have one, and now doesn’t, and is in–I don’t know–continuous agony and is not sure if it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Dates and phrases are approximations. All photos are reenactments. The sentiments are all for real. I had to write this down in an attempt to cling to sanity. I don’t know how much longer I can survive without a transmitter.

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.30

Oh dang. We have no transmitter and it is Christmas Day.

December 25:

Crossed off martini glass all day.

: (

Nothing to do b/c holiday.

      December 26:

DEXCOM TECH SUPPORT: Your transmitter is no longer under warranty; you need to order a new one.

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.26 #4

Please send me one transmitter.

Call Edgepark to order new transmitter.

EDGEPARK: You don’t have a prescription for that part. We need to have a prescription on file.

ENDOCRINOLOGIST: (Provides prescription)

EDGEPARK: ((crickets))

ENDOCRINOLOGIST: Confirms that she sent prescription & all requested information to Edgepark.

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.27 #2

Oh please oh please oh please. I’ll do anything you say.

December 27:

Surely today the transmitter will arrive via Fed Ex or I will die.

December 28:

EDGEPARK: We didn’t need a prescription from your son’s doctor. You must have been confused. The original prescription is good through March 2014. Why would we need a prescription? But your insurance won’t cover it. We can send you one for one thousand two hundred fifty-nine dollars and ninety-six cents.

BLUE CROSS: Of course we approve. I can’t imagine why they won’t send it to you. That’s bullshit.

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.26

Just give me the fucking transmitter.

EDGEPARK: It says here your insurer refuses to cover this part.

BLUE CROSS: We totally accept, approve, everything, whatever, amen.

EDGEPARK: It’s not that Blue Cross won’t accept the claim. It’s that we have decided to stop sending that piece to patients in Rhode Island who are covered by Blue Cross.

BLUE CROSS: They won’t send it? They should send it. Are you sure? We didn’t know they stopped sending things to Rhode Island. That’s weird.

EDGEPARK: Edgepark has determined this. It was our decision*. It is not Blue Cross’s decision. Edgepark will no longer provide Dexcom transmitters to Rhode Island. (*said as if proud to be the dumper instead of the dumpee.)

DEXCOM: That’s bullshit. We will get approval from Blue Cross to send you the piece ourselves. We just will need to fax them some things to become approved senders-of-transmitters-to-you. It could speed things along if you call Blue Cross yourself and encourage them, otherwise they might not get to it immediately

BLUE CROSS: We will approve Dexcom as a provider as soon as we get their request; we are just waiting for their fax

December 29

I’m sure the transmitter will arrive today

December 30

BLUE CROSS: Dexcom has sent us nothing

DEXCOM: We have sent everything to Blue Cross. Sometimes they are slow

BLUE CROSS: Nope, we’re sure. We got nothing from Dexcom. Let me put you on hold while I call Dexcom

(jazz piano tune that evokes a very merry clown idiotically climbing down a ladder into hell)

BLUE CROSS: Someone there named Jonathan said they’re actually still in the process of putting the fax together

DEXCOM: I am so sorry you were misinformed. We hadn’t sent the fax yet, and told you the wrong thing. I’m marking this urgent. Our supervisor Tina will be sure to expedite this today

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.26 #2

hhhhhhhhhhhr

December 31

BLUE CROSS: We have not heard from Dexcom

DEXCOM: We are just waiting to hear from Blue Cross

etc.

January 1

Holiday break for all parties. Croquet mallet smashes through window of friends’ vacation home upon Jack’s accidental release during ice baseball game. Boggle. Quinoa mushroom soup.

January 2-5

repeat December 31, with breaks for times I was sure the transmitter would arrive

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.35 #2

Also on this day I was on hold for five hours with Blue Cross (that’s five hours of jazz keyboards!)

BLUE CROSS: Nope, still haven’t heard from Dexcom

DEXCOM: We are just waiting for your insurer’s approval… (etc.)

BLUE CROSS: Let me put you on hold while I call Dexcom

(J.P.T.T.E.A.V.M.C.I.C.D.A.L.I.H.)

BLUE CROSS: They said they’re still in the process of gathering the information they need to fax

DEXCOM: No, we can’t just sneak one into the mail for you, although we agree we’ve been utter fuckwits with this but rest assured, the complete fax will be at Blue Cross by the end of today

January 7

BLUE CROSS: We did not yet get anything from Dexcom

DEXCOM: That is being handled by our supervisor Tina who is in a meeting, but let me assure you we will take care of this today

January 8

DEXCOM: We have sent everything to Blue Cross and are still waiting for their final approval

BLUE CROSS: We did not receive anything form Dexcom yet. Let me put you on hold while I call them

(J.P.T.T.E.A.V.M.C.I.C.D.A.L.I.H.)

Photo on 2014-01-08 at 13.35 #3

EDGEPARK FACE

BLUE CROSS: I spoke with Katie at Dexcom and she said you should get the transmitter from a vendor let me see what she said, here it is, the name is Edgepark

DEXCOM: Who did your insurance provider speak with? It is not recorded in the notes on your account, when did your insurance provider call? Just now? With Katie? I don’t want you to have to keep dealing with a different representative every time you call.

I will take personal responsibility for making sure this gets taken care of today, and I can see our supervisor Tina who is handling this is in a meeting, but I will email her now and then follow up with her as soon as she is out of the meeting.

You are right. We messed up. But no, I can not sneak one into the mail for you. That’s not how it works. (Giggles becomingly.) I’ll have Tina who is handling this call you as soon as she is out of that meeting.

DEXCOM TINA: It turns out that what we’ve been waiting for is a blood sugar log from you. Once we have that, I will make sure everything gets to Blue Cross today, and since they are waiting for it, they will probably be able to process it today or at least by tomorrow I don’t want to promise today but I can assure you…

Bigfoot say other thing

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