Tag Archives: awake at night

13May / 2013

Diabetes Blog Week #1

In his hungover state, B really didn't want his picture taken.

Glamour Don’t: don’t have diabetes and eat rolls at Bertucci’s

Happy Diabetes Blog Week! Topic today:

Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one’s daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don’t see?  (Thanks to Melissa Lee of Sweetly Voiced for this topic suggestion.)

Not matter if endocrinologist think Bigfoot smart, kind, wise, clever, pretty, all-around put together. But not able stop hope endo notice how very super-superior operation capable Bigfoot running over here. Current endo so gentle soul, cat hair on yoga pants, sends own appointment reminders instead of have secretary. Attitude-free person. No reason think endo judgmental, but Bigfoot always concern w. impress this nice woman. Ideally, publicly acknowledge Favorite Patient Parent of the Year—possibly small ceremony among New England medical elite, smattering applause, maybe honorary degree Harvard Medical School.

That why hope Endo day off from surveillance yesterday. It Mother’s Day.

Bigfoot kind of unorthodox Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day kick off week-long marathon of Forced Special Fun because same week wedding anniversary and birthday. So much pressure have fun. So for Mother’s Day wish instead of spend time family in motherhood tableau, ask Joe can you take them out for Jack’s honor roll celebration (know Jack always choose Bertucci’s Satantic Pizza & Dinner Rolls) while I go out to Garden Grille with the Famous Librarian? Wish granted. Kind of hurt Jack’s feelings but worth it for avoid The Diabetes Torture Chamber that is Bertucci’s.

Bigfoot free! Not contact Joe re how look up carbs on Bertucci’s web site. Not text remind disaster if eat rolls + carby meal, better try steer Bubs toward chicken. That how Bigfoot really let go. Eat beet latkes w. peanut harissa, tempeh tacos, steamed kale w. sunflower seeds gomashio, fiddlehead ferns, baby parsnips, raw chocolate. Briefly thought how many carbs beet latke but quickly put out of mind. Par-tay  and yum.

Arrive home same time guys walk in. Immediate buzz kill. Joe enter w. large pizza box. That signal for ate so many rolls, unable eat pizza.

UH-OH MATH: if X goes out for pizza and comes home with the entire pizza, how many rolls did X's diabetic child eat?

UH-OH MATH: if X goes out for pizza and comes home with the entire pizza, how many rolls did X’s diabetic child eat? ANSWER: X = despicably mellow.

JOE: He had so many carbs

BIGFOOT: Well, Bertucci’s. That’s why I didn’t want to go

JOE: No. I mean a lot of carbs

BFOOT: Like how many?

JOE: One hundred and sixty-two

BF: (displays double middle fingers)

JOE: It was just so easy to look up the carbs online. I didn’t even have to guess

Bigfoot look at notes. 10+ units bolus. Holy shit. Begin rant This is serious! This is your child! His eyeballs are going to shrivel up because of this. It’s like…child abuse. Or at least child neglect. This is so stupid.

JOE: The waiter kept bringing more rolls

BF: So you can tell the waiter to stop bringing them!

JOE: But Jack loves them so much. And it was 78 grams for the mac and cheese from the kids’ menu

BF: ?!?!?

JOE: I know!

BF: Well now we’re going to be up all night and I know you don’t care because you took the day off tomorrow, but that was supposed to be for our anniversary and now you’ll just be sleeping all day and who knows when you’ll ever be able to take the day off for our anniversary ever again? And he’ll feel shitty tomorrow and he won’t be able to concentrate at school, and then he’ll be embarrassed, and this whole thing just has a domino effect and you’ve probably ruined the entire week for our whole family!

JOE: I know

Probably carry on this dramatic vein few more paragraphs while Joe solemnly nod, all the while know when Bigfoot take Bubs Fro Yo World 100+g CHO “snack”, Joe never release peep of disapproval. Because Joe = saint? Or Joe = despicably mellow? Either way, Bigfoot know dramatic ranting not help win imaginary endocrinology award. Favorite Patient Parent award surely demand grace.

As predicted in my rant, Joe was up all night. However, no dried up eyeballs occurred.

As per my prescient rant, Joe was up all night. However, no dried up eyeballs occurred.

Bedtime check of the Dex reveal small spike, speedy recovery, current #150-ish w. arrow diagonally down. NBD. Then Bigfoot think Joe is so fucking lucky! He has the Midas touch! One big bolus and it all balances out. That never happens to me! Everything works out for him! Being the uptight one is really not paying off! Not say any this out loud.

Wake up 4AM. Joe sitting up, headphones on, engrossed in computer screen.

BIGFOOT: Why are you up?

JOE: Oh my god. He’s been over 300 for hours. It won’t go down. I just checked again. He’s down to 294.

BF: (picks up same rant from earlier, as if no time has passed ending with…) and now you’ve ruined our day, his day, and his health forever and everyone’s going to be grouchy tomorrow and this totally sucks!

The stretched-out view of poor Joe's night.

The stretched-out view of that poor Joe’s night. Stupid Bertucci’s.

Also threw in something re even if we rented that house in Tuscany with the chef, I wouldn’t let him eat that many carbs. And you did it at a chain restaurant in Warwick! Bigfoot kind of trouble with dropping it.

JOE: I know. I’m never going to Bertucci’s again. Does that house really come with a chef?

Bigfoot ramble off topic. Topic part is: don’t want medical team see Bigfoot complete dick. Want medical team see Bigfoot low-carb pancake flipping angel. Meanwhile, medical team priority = A1c < 7, hardness of thyroid gland, and no infection on pump site. Barely notice mother tap-dancing with spatula in angel costume.

Just stumbled across this from Jessica Apple re Joslin re high fat dinners.

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27Apr / 2013

39 vs. 86 Calibration

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Is that a sincere 39? Or is 39 Dexcom lingo for “you’re very special” ?

Read/know/not quite believe Dexcom calibration rules. I.e. 2x day = best result, only more if 20%/20 points off. But:

  • seems like more calibration better but not better
  • really no problem/not mind enter #s more often/no sweat
  • difficult explain, just believe scientists
  • almost impossible trust thing brain can’t grasp, e.g. top secret algorithm

And Bigfoot inclined ENTER BG whenever Dexcom exactly spot on. “Good for you!”/hearty encourage. Example: bed time VIQ 112, Dex 110. What harm pat on back? Refrain, but so much want recognize Dexcom job well done. Employee of month.

Would be easier follow calibration rule if understand. When investigate, quickly run into something re polynomials. Oh. Vast, vacant space head where that math belong. And graph even less familiar. And Gary Scheiner says really, really stick to 2x day. Therefore try very best just trust calibration rule. And go to sleep.

Hour later, AWAKE! No Dex buzz, just normal Bigfoot anxiety. Morning train Boston, meet Bigfoot Mom for Book of Mormon musical. Maybe kind of worried miss train? Also really into Netflix binge-watch The Killing—another perfect show for D-parent all-nighter. Ergo as soon as teeny bit conscious mind, begin sniff out opportunity watch The Killing. Even though know need sleep. Peek Dexcom: 110.

Think need glass water. Think maybe OK tiny peek The Killing. Mid Episode 8: Stonewalled, Dexy buzz. Different buzz from usual. ZZt-zzt-zzt-zzt! LOW UNDER 55. VIQ 86. Scroll Dex ENTER BG for consider calibrate. ENTER BG screen shows 39. Decide not calibrate. Decide Juicy Juice. Decide worry about so frequent rumors VIQ runs high. Decide little bit more The Killing. Realize now brain fully awake. Dex buzz normal buzz for normal LOW UNDER 85. Zzzzt-zzzt-zzt. Display BG#60. Juice working. More The Killing. Weird buzz again for LOW UNDER 55. Not calibrate, but go to calibration screen for see number, because main screen just LOW. Calibration screen: 39 again. VIQ 87.

So. This matter of Dexcom lag/juice effect not yet reach interstitial areas or—but wait shouldn’t 15g CHO juice create more lift than 86–>87 on VIQ? Need more juice or need more wait-and-see/The Killing?

ANSWER: more juice, more The Killing.

But when arrive upstairs Juicy Juice in hand, Dexcom 55 w. arrow up. That good news. Then 60 arrow up. Even better.

NEW ANSWER: The Killing Episode 9: Undertow, Juicy Juice on stand-by, no calibration.

 

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06Apr / 2013

Wake UP(!) Gear List

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Hi. Hmm. What? Facebook.

CGM vibrate low warning 76. Bigfoot lollygag under covers, read email, diddle Facebook, Funny babies! + Your new school sounds great! + Hi! + Ooh, cake in a mug! etc. CGM 61 before feet hit floor. 30+ minutes before realize: a thing is happening and I am supposed to figure out a thing to do.

Check BG: 69. Not want walk downstairs Juicy Juice. So far away! Re-check BG: 71. We should get a mini-fridge and keep it in the—OK. Find headlamp. Trudge down/up staircase. Brush Juicy Juice straw against Bubs’s cheek, mouth auto-twist onto straw, three long tugs, roll over definitive “that’s all” pose, face wall. Gently shake Juicy Juice gauge emptiness, feels 75% gone, for night-math 75%(15g) = 10g.

If you look very closely, you can see it's a polka-dotted thong that is not permitted.

If you look very closely, you can see it’s a polka-dotted thong that is not permitted.

Neurosurgeon show.

I chose a neurosurgeon show to go with my hair-brushing, and a cold, damp shower mat for a chair.

CGM crossed off martini glass/no thongs allowed = stay awake to check again in 15 minutes. Then notice hair all bedhead. Decide I can brush my hair and watch the first half of a show. Then realize can’t tend bedhead while don headphones. That why place computer on toilet seat, sit bathroom floor, volume low (for considerate other sleepers), brush hair, CGM still no martini/no thong. Show pretty funny. Brush and brush and brush hair, forget why awake. Watch commercial. Brush and oh, right.

BG 97. CGM still no martini/no thong. Now kind of awake. Read book try sleep. 4AM. Alarm set 6:20AM because promise pre-lacrosse game breakfast. Maybe just stay awake? Or at least stay awake until martini glass/big-booty thong permitted w. one cheek pressed against tipped-over keg.

Gear required:

1. CGM

It should be a book you've already read or a dull book.

It should be a book you’ve already read so that you feel kind of familiar and sleepy

2. phone

3. laptop

4. headlamp

5. Juicy Juice

6. Wifi

7. hairbrush

8. already-read book

It's a Rorschach test and I'm 24/7 party people.

It’s a Rorschach test and I’m 24/7 party people.

Recommended:

1. minibar

2. slippers

3. soft bathroom rug or soundproof television-viewing nook or headphones/don’t brush hair

Wish existed:

Inverse this book, read by Samuel L. Jackson.

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26Mar / 2013

Good Things VIII

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80-ish before dinner, 120-ish 3h pp.

80-ish before dinner, 120-ish 3h pp. This is probably how it will always be from now on.

Spike-free Taco

1.65 (meat) tacos (plain), 7 sugar snap peas, water, Hoodsie. Total 30g CHO. Wait for spike. No spike.

Clues for possible repeat BG success story: dinner < 40g CHO + boys bike around block after dinner/before Hoodsie.

Babybel looks good in green.

Babybel looks good in green.

Green Cheese

Babybel now available in green wrapper! Not matter what variety. Even if cute new green indicate painful habanero flavor, Bigfoot buy. But green = blandy-bland mozzarella! Lunchbox thrill.

Green Beans

Addictive green beans. Sweet-spicy-salty. Bigfoot new hobby green bean evangelist. It recipe:

Heat a big wok until it is almost smoking. Swirl 1T peanut oil (or whatever high-heat oil) into the pan and add 1 pound of trimmed green beans (fatter American kind preferable to haricot verts). Stir frequently for about 5 minutes, until brown in spots. Add 2 scallions (sliced–white and green parts), 3 cloves garlic (minced), 1T minced or grated ginger, 2T tamari or liquid aminos, 1 tsp. red pepper flakes, and 1 tsp. agave or honey. Stir it all around until the beans are lightly coated in sauce. Devour.

Approx. 1/2g CHO per bean.

Old School Pharmacy

Road trip specialty pharmacy, seek Flexifix Opsite for CGM sensor tape-down. Not available. Instead see many other inducements take good care self:

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Powerful enough to anesthetize a horse. In the toothpaste aisle

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Pro Series “bouffant style,” found across from the bunion splints

Knitted tubes, available by the yard for a variety of needs. Could be nice as arm warmers.

Knitted tubes, available by the yard for a variety of needs. Could be nice as arm warmers.

This pharmacy owned by gentleman w. Type 1 (Medtronic pump, uses integrated CGM), run by T1 Gent’s wife + T1GW’s identical twin sister.

Confusing! Until realize one sister has white lab coat, other has Talbots gray wool pants, both patent leather tassel loafers, pretty frosted bangs.

Coat sister able place special Flexifix order w. $5 home delivery.

Ahhh, he got the velcro: unisex Mary Janes in the diabetes department

Awww, he got the velcro: unisex Mary Janes in the diabetes department. The styles are timeless! I hope this is because our generation of D-people have such good technology they never get the foot things.

Patience

137 w. straight arrow. Reading a bedtime story, an audio-visual book by Matt Groening

137 w. straight arrow. Reading a bedtime story, an audio-visual book by Matt Groening

All night Dexcom buzz low warning. Bubs ride too close edge. (Edge currently = 85mg/dL.)

Around midnight. Buzz alarm LOW. 56. FIFTY-SIX! Finger prick: 80. Juicy Juice 15g CHO. Wait for arrow up. Wait wait wait. Wait years. Arrow straight. More orange dot, more buzz. Finger prick: 82. Wait. Just wait. No more juice. Finally, 45 minutes, arrow up 85.

Not need finger prick confirm; faith in arrow.

85 and arrow up---out of the warning zone.

On the up, but not too up.

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21Feb / 2013

WTF Mystery Theatre

It started with a bad swag on this ganache cake, made by young Jack. I used the 54g CHO I found on a random web site for one-twelfth of a random layer cake as my guide, even though our cake was in 16ths, because we eat our cake a la mode

It started with a bad swag on this ganache cake (cake made by young Jack). I used the 54g CHO I found on a random web site for one-twelfth of a random layer cake as my guide, even though our cake was in 16ths, because we eat our cake a la mode

Deep sleep. Phone ringing, ringing, ringing. Probably one of our parents calling to say another one of our parents is dead. Bigfoot parents more reserved—would wait until morning. Ringing, ringing, ringing. Gah! Let it go to voicemail! Must be one of Bigfoot Spouse’s parents. They should really wait to tell us until morning, because there’s nothing we can do about it.

BIGFOOT: What time is it?

BSPOUSE: Hmmm?

BIGFOOT: Your phone

BSPOUSE: Hmm?

BF: Your phone

BSPOUSE: (Rolls over, turns off phone)

BF: Why was it ringing like that weird kind of ring?

BSPOUSE: Hmmm?

BF: That different ring

BSPOUSE: Eyenaknow

BF: Was he low and it’s an alarm to wake you up?

BSP: Hmm?

BF: He was low again?

BSP: No, it was weird. I gave him half a unit

Now Bigfoot little bit awake for piece together situation, Spouse utterly unstirrable. Bed time: 76. Half a glass of milk. 10PM: 57 Must have over-bolused for the cake. 15g CHO Juicy Juice. 10:30 90-something. Good enough for me; I’m asleep. 12AM: 178 <—that courtesy BSpouse; must have been up cleaning after little dinner party, decide might as well check again before retire. 12:30AM 199 <—BSpouse again. Must have been worried #climbing? 0.45u. This bring story to 2AM phone ringing + Current Episode WTF Mystery Theatre. 300.

Was it

  • Miss Scarlett in the infusion site with a bloody clog?
  • Professor Plum in the liver with an organic glucagon response to the low?
  • Mrs. Peacock with a juice concentrate accident in the Juicy Juice juice box factory?
  • Colonel Mustard with a cannula kink?
  • Mrs. White with carby residue on the fingertip?

Get carried away with accuse Mrs. White, wipe finger alcohol, retest, during 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 forget other suspects: 306. Suggested correction: 1.35, Bigfoot dose 1.55 for luck. Then remember other characters.

Miss Scarlett: Check site. Can ascertain plugged in. Not wet. Visual exam by VerioIQ screen light reveal looks OK

Prof. Plum: Liver not Bigfoot purview

Mrs. P: It too farfetched

Col. Mustard: New site from 4PM, work fine all evening; wonder could subcutaneous kink occur at time other than during insertion/kachunk?

Wish remembered correction w. syringe option before correct w. pump in case Colonel Mustard. Now awake beyond lizard part of brain function. No way fall back to sleep after high level cognition (witness above). Cross fingers, check BG again 4AM.

Luckily, dinner guest offer Netflix stream suggestion for just such occasion: Horse Boy documentary autistic boy/adventuresome family travel Mongolia for ride horses & meet shamans.

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02Jan / 2013

3:48A(O)M(G)

I hope you like my new sweater. You're going to be seeing a lot of it. It is part cardigan, part dress, part bathrobe, part security blanket, part ass camo, and 100% awesome

I hope you like my new sweater. It is part cardigan, part dress, part bathrobe, part security blanket, part ass camo, and 100% on.

3:48AM = such special time. It night? Morning? Who can know? Bigfoot, unable fall back to sleep after BG finally down, decide it morning. Now pay piper. So tired. Every sentence end exclamation point, as if make up for tired. It not energetic effect, only creepy! See!

But 3:48 lovely time in kitchen. Bake yogurt honey bread. Tend kombucha scoby. Read entire Sunday New York Times. Think, “this not so bad” and “it good idea always arise 3:48AM.”

By 10AM ready for bed.

Wonder this really worth it? DOC milieu, normal behavior up all night. D Real Life C not so normal. DRLC maybe leave child 250+ overnight, not worry. Or maybe not know number overnight, only up if adjust basals/child sick. Maybe child better off less zombie parent, whatever avoid arterial deterioration (or whatever wretched thing—Bigfoot still not keen on learn negative consequence specifics) so miniscule, no difference for health. Maybe like cosleep vs. Ferberize: everyone OK by Kindergarten.

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29Dec / 2012

Blessing(s)

A highly collectible figurine of me, counting my blessing.

The highly collectible figurine of me, counting my blessing.

Vacation week! Up late.

10PM 95/no IOB. I feel low. Sip juice (6g CHO).

10:30 I feel lower. 87. Whoa. Finish juice box (9g CHO).

11PM 122. Bigfoot think that seem OK. Think probably go higher, bc entire juice box + no IOB.

12AM 125. That nice. Not skyrocket even though so much juice. Think OK sleep.

1:30AM Wake up. Bigfoot feel something amiss. Think “you crazy,” try sleep. Then think how dumb feel tomorrow if child die because ignore bad feeling. Then realize dumb plus sad. Get up. Foot braille no find slippers. Careful: Lego.

1:31AM 258. Pffffffffft. Correction. That some long-acting juice. That some mo-fo-slow-release black bean/tortilla/apple/chocolate Santa carbs.

2:00AM Really too soon re-check but maybe if heading down maybe maybe OK sleep. 317. Caramba! Correction.

2:30AM Surely something will be happening by now. 279. Crap. I should probably change the site, but if it were a bad site, the number would be even higher and I really don’t want to wake him up and have a whole conversation because then I’ll really never, ever, for my entire life, get back to sleep. Correction = zero point zero zero bc. IOB.

This is 40 issue Vanity Fair look like fun. Next up: 90 mini-page iPhone samples Sara Vowell books. Wow, Hawaii.

Before know, it 4:30AM 199. Good enough for Bigfoot. Wait. Maybe too fast drop? Maybe should check again? Maybe already checking too much. Maybe more important sleep. Yes. Sleep. Try sleep.

Try calm brain down, fall back sleep by count blessings—Bigfoot basically living Precious Moments figurine—but unable get past “I’m grateful he’s alive.” Seriously? Bigfoot scold self. That’s it? Remember three other mildly snoring, warm, beloved persons (well, 2 persons, 1 dog) under roof. Why not count more blessings? Can’t. Brain can’t get past The Blessing: alive. Alive, alive, alive.

After Alive, brain switch directly into badnesses: “you’re going to forget to mail the thank you notes” and “you should only eat soup for a month” and “just because your mammogram was OK last week, doesn’t mean you don’t have cancer now” and “you suck! You can’t even count your blessings right!” Try again.

Alive. Then “we missed trash night” and “everything is a mess!” and “you wear that sweater every day” and “this pillow smells funny” and “no one will want to visit you when you’re elderly because you’re going to have so many crazy whiskers!” Flip pillow. Different smells funny. Rrrrrgh!

Then today read A Night in the Life. Feel normal. Feel like ahhhhh. Feel same happy as 1989 when find out use same lie-weight on college application as BFF. (Very realistic @135.) Finally, finally monkey-gerbil stop racing squeaky wheel in brain.

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10Dec / 2012

Hello Good Night

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Peace on earth

Not happen long time. Difficult return this state. Naive: thought figure something out, thought kind of pro, thought so good no bubbles in cartridge now diabetes on short leash. Pffft. Bigfoot awake for night.

All day Bubs high, even wake up high. Many correction. Normal time for change site is evening; Bigfoot Spouse change little bit early because corrections not work. Then suddenly start work. But if not work because site worn out/clogged/whatever, why new site make corrections (from old site) work?

All day high: 178, 138, 232, 274, 253 (new site), 364, 288, 217, I feel low 127, I feel lower 109, I feel low again 91, 96 (bed), 78 (juice), 79 (juice), and…well, hello.

Bigfoot want remember something for future: other side this exhaustion so lovely. All week make plans, agree do things outside comfort zone, interview/hire additional dream T1D teen babysitter for enable more plans outside comfort zone, share 9PM lobster roll at bar down street, find awesome coat like Cookie Monster pelts, then this. Suck back into BG vortex.

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The empties are all snug in their Target bag bin-liner bed.

Everyone snug in bed, Bigfoot try stay awake. So familiar. Hello again. Or maybe not so extreme. It only 1AM. Feel like 4AM for person sleep so well seven consecutive nights.

Except for him. He looks pretty alert.

This guy actually looks pretty alert.

Meanwhile, Bigfoot <3 Bubs school principal. Even love Principal fanciful turn phrase “specialty area.” Send this email parents entire school (it Bigfoot color scheme):

During this holiday season, please remember that X School does follow the guidelines of the X School District’s adopted policy for wellness. Sweet treats and unhealthy snacks are not permitted.  Please refrain from sending them in.  I am asking that teachers do not serve these items. I will ask that you return any unhealthy food items to your home.  It is a school committee policy that must be adhered to. As a school we prefer not to monitor this as education is our specialty area but several situations have arisen that have caused us concern.  Please be considerate and a model to your children and follow the policy. 

Maybe this in response Bigfoot friend T1D daughter class party w giant cupcake, arrive home BG > 1 million mg/dL. Could be related different (very very nice) friend purchase mini-bags chips + tube yogurt “healthy snacks” large school event. Nice try! Maybe parent complain? Maybe teacher? Bigfoot not complain Bubs’s teacher teen stepdaughter visit class, distribute Red Velvet munchkins, but only because try channel Meri apricot advocacy + like teacher so much + What Would Cinderella Do.

Love. Love. Love.

Thank you for trying.

Part of confusion this policy = concept “healthy snacks.” Some family consider sweet yogurt healthy. Other family consider human consume cow anything = affront mother nature. Still other drive over border Connecticut where raw milk legal, ferment kefir in coat closet. Imagine parent share raw milk kefir for school party snack? Everyone complain.

Many consider Ultimate Healthy Kid Friendly School Snack = strawberry. Same time, many consider strawberry top vile pesticide food, adamant child not consume berry pesticide. Meanwhile, organic berries for 25 kids: $1,075.00. In terms cake, some family consider mini cupcake healthy, even though acknowledge unhealthy in/of self, but healthy if compare to cupcake size of human head. For Bubs, maybe smoke cigarette better health than cupcake size of head. But Bigfoot not pass around cigarette for healthy snack.

Very difficult get every family on same page re meaning healthy/unhealthy. 

Some suggestions for healthy snacks everyone can agree on: raspberries, bacon, marijuana, Diet Coke.

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01Nov / 2012

OK. No.

Halloween OK.

Jack made balloon ghosts

Haunted disco garage showcase Harry Potter, magician, mad scientist, scary mask guy, guy getting piggyback ride, kitten, Howard Stern(?), pink wig lady, pretty witch, Santa, Tim Riggins, wizard, crayon, Invisible Man, Lady Gaga boyfriend(?), dog from Family Guy.

Touch if You Dare

Butter pulled himself together, velcro-ed on a Santa costume, and was able to mingle.

These were the non-candy foods. Pizza strips are a Rhode Island delicacy–you could recreate them at home with slices of spongy white bread and tomato paste (cold) wrapped in waxed paper for an indefinite marination period. Also there were roasted chickens and chilli that friends brought.

Another not-candy: donettes on strings. 7g CHO.

After. 9:10PM. Magnanimous Jack offer Bubs favorite: Three Musketeers. Test. 88.Thought would be higher? Eat 3M. No bolus.

The best part: sorting

10PM I feel low: 45. Gah! Orange juice 20g CHO.

10:10PM I feel like I’m dropping…and I feel like…I don’t know…I just really want to know if you’ve ever been bitten.

BFOOT: Hmm? Do you mean like by a dog?

BUBS: (shrugs)

BFOOT: Well, I’ve been bitten by mosquitoes. Do you mean like by a snake? (Slowly catching on that this line of inquiry is a weird low thing.) I think this getting bitten question is a weird low thing. Do you know what I mean?

BUBS: Yeah, I don’t know. I just really feel so curious about whether you and dad have ever been bitten. I feel like I won’t be able to sleep until I ask everyone if they’ve been bitten, and Jacky’s asleep. Do you know what I mean? I need to know. JACKY? HAVE YOU BEEN BITTEN?

BFOOT: Can you prick your own finger?

BUBS: Yeah but I still really want to know if Daddy has been bitten

54. Orange juice 10g CHO.

BFOOT: Do you feel better? Less low? Do you feel the juice hitting you yet?

BUBS: (shrugs) I feel like I still really just want to know: have you even been bitten?

10:35pM: 60. Juicy Juice 8g CHO. I’m cold.

11PM: 63. Asleep Juicy Juice 8g CHO.

Why this like this. Should turn basal off? But so much juice.

11:30PM:114

12:45AM: 94. Bigfoot so icy hands reach under Bubs cozy duvet, feel around warm, warm belly Spibelt for program -50% temp basal/90 min. Seem too extreme wake up, more juice. Too extreme temp basal -100%? Too extreme do nothing. Srsly just making shit up. Choose -50% bc. halfway btw. -100% and nothing. Wish could follow gut, but gut only say pull on thick socks and get into bed.

2AM: Bubs stir. It’s okay. I’m just going to do a finger pricker. It’s okay. This will be the last one. No OK. 60. Juicy Juice 15g CHO. Worst part, aside brain damage, Bigfoot binge-watch Parenthood during hurricane. No more remain. For stay-awake aid, use Halloween episode The Mindy Project. Better length for low anyway. So funny but barely awake. Thick socks on. Start plan skip school–plan maybe mmm sleep late, tuna melts, salty french fries, let Jack skip school too, more time bang-up job Muscular System poster health class, mmm sleep late, maybe shave legs, sleep, eat tuna melts, mmm

2:20AM: Bubs stir II. It’s okay. I just need to do a finger pricker. It’s okay. Give me your hand. Bubs grip duvet tighter. I need your hand. I have to… 114.

2:35AM. Better make sure number not droop. Bubs stir III. It’s okay. Just a finger. Just a finger. I have to. Just a finger. 124. No idea if should -X% temp basal. No idea choose next step: better sleep 4 hour, maybe functional in morning or better stay awake, check again 1 hour, make sure not droop. Also need make sure not high because so much juice? No idea. Also no idea if should take Santa robe off dog?

One happy ending: “I don’t even want to eat any of this. I think people gave out expired candy because of the bad economy.”

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28Oct / 2012

Oh Sandy

Staying up, eating apples, waiting for the hurricane to begin and the blood sugar to go down.

Try brave. 355 bedtime. Check ketones/change site/cartridge (before correction, duh) because this family not playing.

Bigfoot head saying “Fool, forget him.” Bigfoot heart saying, “Don’t let go.” Know not need assign blame. But:

  • Hurricane Sandy on way <–too exciting?
  • 25th anniversary Bigfoot Spouse little sister die (car accident, age 16) <–possible Bubs some existential turmoil this complex family issue?
  • Pasta perhaps overcook while Bigfoot mother-in-law rope unenthusiastic BSpouse into exhume deck chair cushions/mitten ‘n’ hat storage bin/ large, battered ottoman from XXX-crowded attic; pasta take advantage opportunity release subatomic carb particle <– delayed-release dark magic for hyperglycemia bomb?
  • Pasta shape preemie hospital bracelet/metastasized calamari; also clay bowl brim w. flabby sausage unknown animal <–stimulate fear/adrenaline?
  • BJ Wholesale Club pumpkin pie (<–this patisserie not worth roll hyperglycemia dice. Golden seal w. embossed monogram not fool Bigfoot next time)
  • Grief/devastation atmosphere <–more adrenaline?
  • Before even one raindrop hit, schools announce CLOSED <–also adrenaline (fear &/or tickled pink)
  • Weird weird weird gloomy day w. weird food = all day Bigfoot kind of hungry. Subliminal level Bigfoot hungry = diabetic child in proximity not possible high BG bc if anything, seems like everyone quite low. Therefore not check BG 2h pp, only listen for I feel low <–not so sharp for science

Two episodes Parenthood (that 90 min. in earth time) post 355 w. EzBG prescribed correction + 0.25u for luck, 305. Fuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuu. (Not you per se.) Now Bigfoot try stay awake but not eat cookies. Eat apples. Make soup. Make bread. Maybe make cornbread. Make ice. Everyone predict power outage.

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