Super Plus

At five o’clock this morning I found a note: Buy Juicy Juice.


Actual note.

I checked the Share. It made sense. The guys had had a juice all-nighter. Dwindling juice supply = now depleted.

Later on, I stopped in at BJ’s to pick up a case of Juicy Juice. I headed beyond the mini cornbreads and posh dog yogurt to the aisle where juice boxes, Perrier, and coconut water live. Hello, juice! Things looked different. Things were different. What is it? Did they paint the shelves? The Juicy Juice wrapper was different. But why? The Juicy Juice itself was different. In the space where normal Juicy Juice belongs were gargantuan Juicy Juices. Oh no. No, no, no. 21g CHO per box instead of 15g. We’d been using the 15g CHO size since the beginning. Tiny gasp.

This is not my beautiful juice.

This is not my beautiful juice.

Stunned but bravely persevering, I explored the aisle, reading carb counts on the other juice boxes. All were biggies: Apple & Eve: 20+ g. Minute Maid 20+ g. Capri Sun 20+ g. I imagined fumbling my way into one of them at 2AM. The feel will be off. I need to be able to feel-guess 8g, and with the reptile portion of my brain only, so I don’t wake up all the way. I told myself I’d recalibrate my feel-guessing. But we need the smaller size so we can aim it at his face without banging it into his chest and squirting juice all over his neck. No pep talk came to mind re angle/spilling. The bigger box would bang against a supine person’s chest for sure. Unless I could sort of dogleg it along one side of his neck? Nah…I headed over to the applesauce to consider the possibility of nocturnal Gogo Squeeze. (NB: no Gogo Squeeze at Seekonk BJ’s.)

tampon manThis is like this: a young teenager gets her period at a friend’s house, and the only menstrual equipment the friend has is Playtex tampons. Not only are these too large to be believed, they are also the wrong color, wrong shape, and they are fragranced. Are you sure this is all you’ve got? She’s sure. Be brave, you must and can manage with this unimaginably large…you’re sure? She’s sure. I bought a case of the (huge) juice boxes.

At the same time I’m dreading learning to operate a larger juice box, I am not worried about switching pumps. Bubs is planning Ping —-> TSlim in December. What could go wrong? The only technical issue I fear: what if the Super Plus juices don’t have bendy straws? If those straws don’t bend, we are screwed.

Bigfoot say other thing

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