Sugar Daddy


Um well so here’s $35.

Blue Cross,

I had been sitting in the CVS parking lot listening to this story on Morning Edition (about why insulin is so expensive in the US) just prior to picking up our own monthly sack of the stuff. At the pharmacy counter, I swiped our HSA card to cover the $35 Humalog copay while mulling over the NPR story and doing my traditional monthly self-grumble that sniff this is so unfair; it should be the same $3 copay that’s applied to our other prescriptions.

prettyBut then I saw the amount you had contributed to the purchase. My brain popped: I am completely beholden to you. Initially your largesse made me feel cherished and fancy. You are so generous. Thank you. But one THOUSAND one hundred thirty-eight and 58/100ths dollars? And that’s per month? That initial feeling of being cherished was replaced in a blip as I realized I’m the insecure hat-shopping hooker and you’re Richard Gere. I don’t remember what happens in the movie after the awkward shopping, but I bet R. Gere quickly realizes no amount of fellatio will cover the cost of the hats.

Bigfoot say other thing


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