Endo Notes

A1c

The A1c technician had scrubs in a lovely shade of orchid. We appreciate solid color scrubs in pediatric medicine. In the hospital we encountered Spongebob Scrubs, which made the whole scene feel like a really tedious birthday party BUT WITH IVs.

Yesterday = quarterly Endo appointment.

As usual, sift through scrawl after appointment, try remember new tips re How to Be.

Rate of Digestion

He seems to digest his food slowly—it seems like it takes more than two hours. (Do you mean the insulin peaks after more than two hours?) No, I mean the food continues to effect him for more than two hours. But that could be good. It could mean he is not eating a lot of junk food…

BUBS: I love junk food!

…because you know, we’ve learned that high fiber foods stay with you longer, provide a more sustained energy source.

Bigfoot kind of put off by this kernel. Seriously, endo think Bigfoot family not aware dietary fiber? Also: what to make of Bubs’s allegedly slow digestion? Seems normal digestion for Bigfoot science because food/insulin both last approx-but-longer-than 2 hours. Was this some endocrinological mutterings or was information for use? And if latter, what use?

4′ 9.25″/ 77.8 lbs.

Hmmh. He has grown taller, but has not gained any weight since last time; and that time he had lost some weight since the previous appointment. (And is that ok?) Yeah, it’s fine. He’s probably just very active. You might want to try to give him more to eat, but look at him: he is not skin and bones. Well, maybe try to feed him more but don’t worry about it. His BMI is still normal.

Again: this A Thing? This mean maybe not enough insulin for body store new muscles/fat? Seemed more like casual front-porch musings than actual directive.

Thyroid

Yup, thyroid’s still there. No need for any hormone replacement yet.

Damn! Should have asked if allegedly slow digestion is thyroid clue. But then would gain weight—like what happen w. Oprah.

extreme close-up of FINGERS

extreme close-up (FINGERS)

Callouses

Dexcom buzz w. blood drop icon while in appointment, Bubs test for callibration. Endo notice Bubs’s Fasclix method of click-click-click instead of just one click at deeper setting. Bubs likes setting 2.5, even though takes multiple tries. Bigfoot use 3.5 @night, just one pop & DONE. Endo agog: Bubs, you should not have to poke yourself that many times! Doesn’t it hurt? (Bubs shrugs not really. That’s just how I like to do it.)

Then endo examine fingers. Did you know that you should never be ashamed of your callouses? They’re what makes it possible for you to get pokes that don’t usually hurt. Then this: See this? He’s getting too close to the center. Bubs, you shouldn’t be poking here. Go more toward the fingernail, stay to the outside. There are so many nerves at the center of your fingertips and you don’t want to create nerve damage.

Well, shoot. Everyone know that. Learn in hospital. But sure enough, examine Bubs’s fingers up close, callouses creeping toward center. Sorry. Maybe some benefit if become classical guitar player?

Dexcom G4 Platinum

Apparently Bubs this endo’s 1st patient w. DG4P. Marvel at size. Report transmitter much larger than Medtroinc’s transmitter. Does it bother you at all?

BUBS: No!

ENDO: Not even when you’re sleeping?

BUBS: Nuh-uh

ENDO: Do you wear it all of the time?

BUBS: Yup.

ENDO: Doesn’t hurt?

BUBS: No

ENDO: Does it hurt going in?

BUBS: Nope

ENDO: It is kind of a pain having to carry another device?

BUBS: I don’t care

ENDO: You have to carry it like a necklace?

BUBS: Or on my Spibelt with my pump

ENDO: Do you ever feel like you could do it like some kids wear it for three days and then take a break for a month?

BUBS: No, I like it.

While underway, questions seem kind of geared toward DG4P disillusionment, but afterward realize questions are for help Endo know what tell other parents/kids. Tell them like Macklemore: This is hmm-hmm awesome.

Bolus Insulin/Basal Insulin

Vaguely remember ideal is maybe keep amounts pretty even? Like…if 9 total units basal/day, should bolus 9 units/day. That even true? But as Endo delve into unknown areas pump, notice bolus much more than basal. One day he bolused 22 units! So make some adjustments: oomph up morning basal, decrease breakfast insulin. Also decrease dinner insulin from 1:15 –> 1:18. Like that.

Sites

His sites look great. Perfect. You can keep using just your bum. That’s fine.

A1c

6.1. That tiny peep higher than last time. Probably insignificant.

They Just Keep Coming

On way out, endo call in next patient. Sweet little mocha cream puff of girl dressed in hydrangea shorts-tank top, foldover ankle socks, sneakers/dark circles-eyes mom/actively weeping abuela clutching crumpled tissue wad.

Endo Day

photo-6

All this fun plus a flu shot clinic at the high school afterwards. So. Much. Health. Care.

Endo today.

NUMBER

photo-8

If only this meant something more than a momentary glimpse of some hemoglobin.

6. Six! (Six point zero.)

THYROID

Still work fine. Still feel hard. (How will we know if something’s happening?) He won’t have the energy to enjoy life. Plus constipation. How are your poops? Bubs agog. Look Bigfoot in eye, inquisitive: srsly? Bigfoot nod. Bubs report they’re fine. Stare at hand on lap several moments.

Snack.

A normal—I mean GINORMOUS—snack.

TIGHT

Too many lows. Endo adjust basals down. Way down some spots. He’s waking up really tight. (Tight?) Really close to 70, 80, 90, 100. Let’s loosen this up. His A1c is low so we have some room. He shouldn’t be this tight.

HUNGRY

Bubs hungry during appointment. Five peanut butter cracker plus Luna Protein Cookie Dough nutrient extrusion. Whoa! How many carbs are you eating? (Forty-six.) Well, wow. You’re a growing boy. It’s fine! But Bigfoot get it. 46g CHO considered giant snack. File away snack disapproval for savor in mind during insomnia times.

Plenty time Bubs eat giant snack while Endo tap tap tap email 5 Rx’s–> mail order pharmacy; needle tips/syringes–>DME co.; & glucagon/Lantus–>Target. Everything from laptop. Such service.

Four foot nine? We think. It was metric. No idea on the kilos.

Four foot nine? We think. It was metric. No idea on the kilos.

TALLER

Not much say. Kid grow up.

EYES

Endo surprised Bubs no eye exam. Dr. Doughnut advise unnecessary new diabetes, useless as pediatric foot exam. New endo recommend Bubs visit Bigfoot own friendly eye doctor, dilated eye exam. Bigfoot no worry. Children ADORE sting-y eye drop/giant pupil daze. Bigfoot need eye exam too, think Bob Harper glasses very becoming for distract viewer attention away eyebags.

Remember these things.

Read tomorrow. Do not lose.

NOTES

Bigfoot beat. Although day consist one (1) hour work, leisurely return misguided tea (it poison?) purchase, walk dog, grocery store, & endo, feel post marathon but no endorphin. Too tired read/understand/act on notes.

NEXT TIME

  • Bring larger scrap paper
  • Pack low carb snack for display
  • I wish we'd signed up for the other kind

    Damn! Should have signed up for the other kind, 250.02

Not about the number but the number six point five

Someone pointed out that this Montreal Olympics logo t-shirt looks like a stylized flip o’ the bird

Today Dr. Doughnut. Running 45 min. late. Waiting area, Bigfoot notice two child-mother-father trios with Obvious Newcomer Bag: meter still in box, in clear plastic shopping bag, jumble of papers in uninspired yellow/dismal pink/dead green. Nervous in waiting room. Look unsure if OK sit down.

So much want say Were you just diagnosed? It’s going to be OK. Have you seen the You Can Do This project? Do you know about Six Until Me? Wish had sample copy Leighann’s book in medical creel. Then shy. Afraid maybe elitist, not everyone take comfort in internet, also maybe too intrusive sensitive family time. Also afraid would cry when speak these recent refugees. Settle for try catch mothers’ eyes, smile warm smile. Probably only manage look crazy-eyes insane. One mother smile back. Both dads in schlubby Patriots jerseys. Maybe become friends. Not w Bigfoot. W e/o.

While wait exam room, CDE sit w/ Bigfoot & Bubs discuss at length strip use issue, review Bigfoot exquisitely tidy notes. CDE only say, “You’re doing everything right” or “Every one of these tests looks perfectly legitimate to me” and “When Dr. Doughnut comes in we can see what she has to say when she looks at these notes.” That the theme. This good cop bad cop warmup act? Maybe only paranoid.

Enter Dr. Doughnut. Shake Bigfoot hand. This a sign? Not remember hand shake other exams.

One of the highlights was this hand-drawn novelty bandage.

Share BG charts. Most recent few days, use 10-12 strips/day. Further back 15, 17, 20, etc. Bigfoot not want drag this out. Dr. Doughnut address strip issue oblique compliment, “See? You’re only using ten a day now–good for you!” Bigfoot try explain, “That’s on days when he goes to bed at a normal number. On the days when he’s high or low at bedtime, we still use more, and I don’t really see any to cut out.”

DR. DOUGHNUT: Well of course you’re using more on those days. But on a normal day you’re using ten. Good job

BIGFOOT: Thanks

CDE: I think what she’s saying is that he has been high or  low often at night, and the night testing, I think you’d agree, is necessary, and that requires more than ten strips a day

DR. DOUGHNUT: Of course

CDE: And look at this. He was low, and she remembered it was because he didn’t drink his milk before the babysitter came, and then he had to test three times in one hour with the babysitter to make sure he came up, and that looks right to me

DR. DOUGHNUT: Ah, uh-huh. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Of course you’re going to make mistakes. But that amount of testing doesn’t happen on a typical day, right?

BIGFOOT: There is no muthafunckingcocksucking typical day. (<—not really say.) I’m getting the goddamned strips from my fucking pediatrician. (<—not really say.) I’m never coming here again! (<—not say at all.) Right (<—say)

DR. DOUGHNUT: Well, these numbers look great. And his a1C is 6.5, so that’s great. Good job. I forget: does he have Hashimoto’s?

BIGFOOT: Yup

DR. DOUGHNUT: So since it’s been a year, we’ll do the blood work for that. After we’re done here, I’ll give you a slip to take down the hall to the lab

Bigfoot really not energy pinpoint test strip decision. Seem pretty clear, keep 10x/day. Already have new endo anyway. Whatev, strip issue extinguish like match toss in toilet. Tssss.

Exam move on to belly/site palpation portion of show. Fine fine fine. Normal normal normal. Dr. Doughnut never examine feet. Why pediatric endocronologist ever examine feet? Bigfoot science, not possible child develop foot issue so young but read other pediatric endo provide foot exam. Probably relic from olden times, like Sweet ‘n’ Low packet.

Two adults holding down one compliant patient = job creation!

After exam, hit lab. One phlebotomist for poke, 2nd phlebotomist for hold down. Srsly? Take tube blood for cholesterol, thyroid. Eight seconds, it over. As soon reach parking garage, Bubs cry. Buckle into car I’m so overwhelmed! I’m sorry I’m crying! Geeze, it that stressful? Bigfoot big day planned of read housewares catalogs w. friend opening culinary expert shop. But Bubs so much crying. I’m sorry I’m crying. I hate myself. I hate this. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this. Push come shove Bigfoot stone cold, housewares-coveting heart melt open tiny bit suggest take rest of day off from school.

Apple kuchen. Using food as an emotional crutch is not recommended.

After apple kuchen/hazelnut mocha Olga’s Cup and Saucer, Bubs accompany Bigfoot friend’s housewares catalog heaven on living room floor. Friend so kind Johnny’s at school. Do you want to rifle through his Magic Cards? Bubs play w/ three adorable extra-fast hamsters, provenance Gobi desert. Bigfoot read entire catalog peppermills, entire catalog $36 tea towel. Everyone happy.

Get home feel low: 54. Stress? Want eat yogurt, then PB & JChocolateHazelnutB sandwich, then ask chicken korma but Bigfoot Spouse take all leftover chicken to work, because no one ever, ever in entire history chicken korma request this snack. So hungry. So depleted. Pat dog. Minecraft.

As reward for reader make it all way end, Bigfoot wish share this article re disabled children. What My Son’s Disabilities Taught Me About Having it All.

Recovery station by Olga Bravo.

Porn for D-Moms

(there was a picture from porn for women here.)
From Porn for Women. No images from Porn for D-Moms available.

Chronicle Books may do well add new volume Porn for Women series. Cover photo Porn for D-Moms: bespectacled BrownUniversity endocrinologist extend toward viewer paper showing A1C score_____. (To be determined; focus group choose 6.9 vanilla fantasy/5.5 for hardcore.) Today Bigfoot starring role this quasi-erotic scene.

And he grew an inch, and gained 3 lbs. More free porn ideas for Chronicle!

Dr. Doughnut not say word, only hand paper with number. Important remember: naive Bigfoot anticipate A1C 10+.

BIGFOOT: 6.9?

DR. DOUGHNUT: Yep. Nothing wrong with that

BFOOT: How can his A1C be OK when he has been high so much?

DR. DNUT: He’s only high for isolated periods, then he comes right down

BFOOT: ??? (small tear of joy emerges)

Many women prefer written porn to visual. D-moms often prefer straight up numerical.

DD: Listen. This is excellent. Once you’re under 7, it’s all diminishing returns. Do you hear me? You know what I mean? (Slices line diagonally through the air with an open palm, fingers held tightly together.) It’s not linear. It’s curvilinear. In terms of long-term effects, a 6.9 is almost equivalent to a 6.1, get it? It’s getting down from 8 or 9 where you get the bang for your buck, do you know what I’m saying?

(there used to be a picture of a guy in betabrand’s disco pants here)
We may disagree on the best color for a FastClix, but every woman can agree on these pants.

More Porn for D-moms. Picture #2 Husband, poss. dressed in sequined pants: Why don’t you take the summer nights off, gorgeous? I don’t need to sleep for a few months. Picture #3 Restaurant Menu: Welcome to Pinky’s Organic Cafe, all carb counts verified by Atkins dieters with OCD. And Picture #4 FastClix display: Help Yourself! Kelly green, VW Bug Pop Orange, peony magenta…

*******

Is D-mom a generic term for the mothers of diabetic children, or does it usually refer specifically to D-mom on D-mom dot com? I meant to use it in a generic way, and didn’t at all mean to imply that the famous D-mom is getting kinky with her child’s endocrinology records.

Suddenly Tomorrow

Like a kid in a candy store! Lego individual blades of grass–among other exotic pieces–lead to an insane amount of sedentary play, and to disastrous blood sugar unless your parent realizes it’s her responsibility to remind you to move periodically

Lego store like penny candy store: fill little tub from pretty-color bins. Also like candy store because cause high blood sugar. When Lego so much fun, child only want sit still/play quietly inside own head. Enter state of flow. Quiet for hours. Bigfoot insatiable greed for quietude. Therefore very much sit still this thunderstorm day.

Today huge difference yesterday–in terms activity. TODAY Bubs’s activity include Lego, Minecraft, reading, Madagascar 3 . Also coughing. YESTERDAY: soccer, swim, boogie board, dig hole, chase seagull, kadima, jackpot, pickle, rescue clam named Phil. Bigfoot important scientific discovery: insulin not work for shit in sedentary person.

After lunch bolus, ask Bubs jump around. Say you don’t really have to work up a sweat or anything, just don’t sit down for a while. OK. Bubs game. Bubs want insulin work too–begin series tai chi moves, yoga poses. Grow ponderous in modified dog pose don’t you hate it when people spell “kids” with a Z to try to make something seem fun? Bigfoot agree, add and what if it’s a kidZZZ club, but they spell “club” with a K? Bubs so disgusted this thought, come up from pose reveal horrified face.

Slow mo all over kitchen, controlled arm movement, slow steps and as the cheeseburger enters the bun, the sun comes up over the ketchup, and the dog finds a noodle narrating moves in Bob Ross voice. Insulin still not work. So many corrections, for example 358; correction. 316, oh how kind of you to make effort, correction; 269, why thank you again, how about try a little harder next time? Correction. 277. Insulin work ALMOST NOT AT ALL on rainy day.

Then sun come out. Then Bigfoot Spouse come home. Stir-crazy Bigfoot leave for run, Bubs and Bigfoot Spouse play basketball. As if all corrections stored up in one square inch bum decide emerge in one whoosh after basketball game: finally, BG normal. Then BG low. Want throttle someone. Not sure who.

Tomorrow see Dr. Doughnut Coro Center 9:30AM. This date creep up on Bigfoot, feel like try lose 5-8 lbs. before own annual physical, then sun rise on day of physical, no place hide. A1C situation not really so similar because Bigfoot never actually try lose weight. Try so hard good A1C.

This A1C going to suck. Bigfoot know. Not pessimism. Fact. So many BG over 200, over 300. Know more recent weeks count more toward A1C, even more recent weeks suck.

Aha! 65 at bedtime. Please let this count extra lot. Dr. Doughnut not consider 65 Official Low but even Dr. Let Me Take My Chances On the Wall of Death Doughnut advise bedtime snack if under 70. So not treat as low, merely low-ish for time of day: peanut butter cracker, half glass milk. Bubs snuggle under duvet after snack, eyelids heavy. Smack lips, I love being low.

BFOOT: Whaaaat?

BUBS: I love being low. I mean, it feels bad, but I get a tasty snack

BFOOT: But you know you can always have a tasty snack anyway (that not true–would never let eat in bed for normal people snack)

BUBS: I know, but the taste is just so tasty at night in bed

If this were an endocrinologist’s supply closet, and these were the colors for complimentary Multiclix, I’d be all over the kelly green. In real life those are blades of grass Lego, and they are pure evil.

Bigfoot love Dr. Doughnut but dread tomorrow. Dread A1C. Dread whole thing except for if can score new free Multiclix because jammed up favored marine blue one with sand yesterday.

Also dread what if Bigfoot ever-so-casual ask Dr. Doughnut if think cough sound worth inspection and Dr. Doughnut slam clipboard down on exam table, say I am so sick of you leeches! I’m his goddamn endocrinologist, not his pediatrician! Get a fucking clue! Or what if Bigfoot ask I heard something about a letter I should have for air travel with the pump? and what if Dr. say Ask a fucking nurse! God! No wonder his A1C is 17. You are such an IDIOT. Better ask for complimentary Multiclix first.

*******

NB: I should also have said that we love our endocrinologist. She is really very kind. These mean conversations are strictly limited to my imagination. My metabolism runs on anxiety.

A1C 6.9 + 4′ 6.5″ + 71.5 lbs

Waiting for the world's coolest endocrinologist. Worried about something.

Today see Dr. Doughnut quarterly check up. While wait exam room, Bubs look so nervous. After minute or two say need ask question. Bigfoot brace self: hear story about Supreme Court health care debate day two, worry about pre-existing condition? Want know why exam table foreshortened w. stirrups? Want Bigfoot translate Spanish HPV vaccine poster? Not solamente for chicas, chicos tambien.

BUBS: Well, what I want to know is…

BFOOT: You can ask me anything

BUBS: Well, it’s (buries face in jacket)…what’s (cringes) domestic champagne?

Bigfoot do best explain France defend name “champagne” for authentic Champagne (from Champagne region? That what Bigfoot tell.) About launch into parmigiano reggiano when Dr. Doughnut enter. Polka dot glasses, black cords, clogs.

DR. DOUGHNUT: Well. So. OK! Your A1C is 6.9*. So that’s that. How’re ya doing, Bubs? Belly hurt? Sore throat? How’s that new toy?

BUBS: ?

DR. DNUT: Your pump. How’re you liking your pump?

BUBS: (Lifts shirt to show Spibelt-ed pump) It’s good

DR. D: Yeah? Good! What do you like the best about it?

BUBS: Not having to have shots any more

DD: Yeah, I thought you’d say that

Celebratory chicken legs.

Talk for while about why site hurt yesterday. Possible cannula kink. Possible too close muscle. No big deal. Just move if hurt. Bigfoot ask Dr. Doughnut backup on issue: want Bubs stop pricking finger same spot. Warty outcropping develop, but always want poke that spot. Please tell Bubs move pricker around, maintain supple fingertip.

DD: It doesn’t matter. Stop bothering him about it. Right, Bubs? Let’s tell your mom to stop bugging you about where you prick your finger (winks at Bigfoot). Bubs. I’ll tell you what: that hard spot, that’s a callous. So it’s going to get harder to get blood from that spot. But you just run that finger under hot water. That’ll open up the capillaries and make your finger nice and juicy. Nice and juicy with blood. And it’ll soften up the callous a little bit. Okay?

After appointment, visit Whole Foods zero carb snack. Upon request, pizza oven lady hack legs off rotisserie chicken ($2.99), Bubs devour. Save sinews. Dog eat later.

(* this A1C look good but is, actually, whatever/meaningless. It not as if #42 scrub away damage from #367. But make good average number if need for bizzare sort of resume/pageant.)

7.3

This is a good place.

See you in February.

Bubs’s first A1C=7.3. No Coro personnel  express surprise; wilted pancreas correct parental error while on honeymoon. No congratulate. Normal.

Bubs love Dr. Doughnut. Discover mutual hatred of wear socks, closed-in shoes. So jolly. Wear fine gauge merino pants, probably Eileen Fisher 2011 edition. Fanciful eyeglasses, red-yellow-purple floral frames, somehow not tacky. Dr. Doughnut feel sites on Bubs’s arms, legs, and bum where injection go. Everything healthy, fine.

Next Dr. Doughnut hand Bigfoot $110, a $50 and three $20. This a surprise. What money for? Turn out it for Chucky Doll study. That study end now. Bigfoot not sure result. Learn Chucky Doll company other medical simulation doll include pregnant woman. This one give birth animatronic baby. Chucky Doll company also make animatronic friend for lonely man? After money exchange, diabetes exam, casual conversation portion of show begin.

Oh, yeah.

DD: So, what else? What else has been going on? You having any fun?

BUBS: (shrugs)

DD: What kinds of stuff have you been doing?

BUBS: (looks at Bigfoot, smiles, shrugs) playing video games?

DD: Cool! Whadja playing?

BUBS: (shrugs, blushes)

DD: What games are you playing? Halo?

BUBS: (impressed) (looks up in awe)

 

 

Baltimore Squares

Many weeks, Bigfoot anticipate Baltimore trip, celebrate friend’s 40th birthday. Bigfoot imagine big chance get away, first time since diagnosis. Imagine become completely relaxed, wear sequins, get cocaine, maybe win contest, get in glass booth with powerful fan, grab as many hundred dollar bills as possible, or become backup singer/dancer. Seem anything possible. Reality, Bigfoot stay same Bigfoot. Get motion sickness, throw up out window of Volvo in Mt. Vernon Whole Foods parking lot. Spend time with friend, get massage, eat raisin bran, look at Bon Iver records Urban Outfitters, it all very nice.

Square?

Now home. Everyone happy be together again. Good health. But same problem as before left: bathroom exhaust fan not work, walls get all wet. Holly bush have sad, skimpy string Christmas lights, need add more. Bubs have high blood sugar. Bigfoot disappointed. Leave two days, everything stay same. Nothing improve while Bigfoot gone, also run out of bananas.

Coming week feel big: new friend invite Bubs over to play. Bigfoot not know how reply. Like new friend very much. Live close by. Family very nice. Grandmother have cute dog. But how Bigfoot explain glucagon pen? Bigfoot afraid Grandmother or mother say, “Actually, never mind. We didn’t realize this would be such a hassle!” Also, Bigfoot not know New Friend family well enough decide square/no square—know only this: good looking, like dogs, Catholic.

Other big thing: Coro Center insulin pump meeting/selection/purchase. Next day, see Dr. Doughnut, get first A1C. And this: school chorus sing carols Statehouse.

tortellini issue

This isn't working.

Maybe not eat Mama’s HOME STYLE Cheese TORTELLINI again? Every time Bubs eat Venda Ravioli cheese tortellini, experience high blood sugar. Bigfoot realize pasta high in carbohydrate, that why give huge insulin injection. Why it not matter how much insulin give, tortellini result high blood sugar regardless?

Eat with fat (form of cheese/olive oil), protein (cheese, milk), fiber (green beans, apple). This not slow down raging Venda Ravioli tortellini sugar wave. 344 two hours postprandial.

Not a good choice after pasta? 5 carbs.

Maybe not so good idea have first Doodads of holiday season after Venda Ravioli tortellini. Bigfoot include link Doodads recipe, but not fair recommend make. This so tasty make fat/grumpy, very bad for diabetes patient.

Today Bubs have much exercise: fence, foosball, swim, football. Balance with Star Wars the Clone Wars DVD and visit Rogers Free Library. Everything balance, balance, balance. Not matter.

If blood sugar 95 5PM + 344 7PM + 176 9PM, what =A1C? Probably bad.

 

Bigfoot say other thing

Bigfoot sure this not right placement Pinterest button

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