Today 4 h. after breakfast, low. 68, 88, 69, + @lunch Bigfoot Spouse misread serving on box. Count 60g CHO as only 15g. One unit insulin when should have been 4u. But no high.
8PM: I feel kind of weird—I think I might be dropping. 69. Skittles. 15 min. later: 63. Skittles. 15 min. later 65. Skittles. I’m so hungry, can I have some cheese? (No. You have to wait.) 9PM 78. Cheese. Peanut butter sandwich. Water. More cheese. Insulin for sandwich**. Brush teeth. Could I just have one more peanut butter sandwich? Wait—I meant two more? (No.) 9:30PM (Already so late?) Bed. 70. Juice box. Turn down basal. 9:45PM 88. 10PM 70. Juice. I’m so tired. (I know. I’m sorry.) I’m kind of cold. Can I have a sleeping bag? (Sure.) Thanks, Mama. Mama? I’m kind of hot. I just feel so much adrenaline, you know? (I better test you again.)
CLICKPOKE. Ow! Nice going. (Cold, psychotic stare) I mean, good job. You keep me awake and then poke me so it really hurts? Nice one. (You might be getting that adrenaline-y feeling from being low.) That’s a great story. I had no idea. Wow. You’re like, an expert scientist now. Thanks a lot for the tip. 77.
(Suddenly all sweetheart-y again) Good night, Mama! Thanks. Can you tuck me in? (Sure. But I’ll be back soon to make sure you’re not dropping, so try to sleep with a few fingers showing.) Okay, Mama. 10:45PM MOM! (Yelling) NEXT WEEK MAY YOU DRIVE ME TO TARGET TO USE MY GIFT CARD TO GET MORE CHIMA. (I will.) Will they accept a Target gift card for Lego Chima? (They will. You can get whatever you want with that gift card.) Are you sure they’ll take it for Chima? (I’m sure.) I’m kind of hot. I mean, I’m cold. MOM! I NEED TO SWISH WATER AROUND IN MY MOUTH TO WASH OFF THE JUICE!
Bubs swish water for long, long time, eyes close, head nod down/back, more swish. Then, confused, swallows dirty swishwater, asleep. 11PM 84.
Reach under duvet. Hot, cold, clammy. Check pump basal program, because program lower AM basal as per endo. Think “Maybe I accidentally put a 3 where there should have been a 0.3.” No. Basal program okay.
Hear Bubs asleep mumbles. Probably still feel oogy. 11:30PM 95.
Creepy photo Bigfoot creep up on sleeping child remind Bigfoot creepy feeling wash over heart, settle in gut during Terry Gross interview Barry Lopez. Pedophile convince child Barry Lopez something wrong w. c.B.Lopez & remedy = rape. Child try assimilate rape into normal life. CBL think, “I can trust this adult. This hurts and seems weird but he says I have to do it to get better from what is wrong with me, so I will not complain.” Too familiar! Little boy totally trust Bigfoot it necessary for health poke finger, take blood, wake up, force juice, attach machinery, all manner weird shit. Well, obvsly, not really same thing, but similar*:
“I was a child,” he tells Fresh Air‘s Terry Gross. “I was 7 years old, and the world of medicine and the world of treatment and the world of how we take care of each other was a tabula rasa for me. I knew that [...] I was in the hands of somebody that I knew the adult world respected, and as a young person trying to learn the world, I was trying to understand things that were new to me, and that just fell into that category.
*You can find more diabetes brain (= automatically incorporate diabetes into anything), with less pedophilia and more cute containers here. I am so grateful that I read Kelly’s definition of diabetes brain today. Sometimes just being able to name your disorder is a huge relief.
**That insulin was a mistake, but I have to hand it to me: I could not have known.