Christmas morning 6:30AM, children bring stockings parents’ bed. BG 87. Open-open-open. 7AM Bigfoot Spouse brilliant idea now you can play with the things from your stocking for an hour while Mum and I sleep.
8:15AM. Can we have cocoa? 237. Hwah? Not eat anything yet. C’est impossible. You must have got sugar on your hands from something in your stocking. Wash-wash-wash. 225. It for real.
Fast forward 9:45AM. Brunch guests due 15 minutes, Uh-oh. Bigfoot not dressed. One arrive, frowning deeply w pie. Next guest arrive sans spouse, slip Bigfoot intriguing slim box she wanted me to make sure you had this. It some kind psilocybin cookie*? Next person arrive, start feed dog grapes. Phone ring. A Jew—it Bubs’s godfather. Oh! I just realized! I shouldn’t be calling—is it Christmas? Bubs hungry Can I have a piece of this coffee cake? 166. Swag 40g. (2h pp: 168.) (!) Bigfoot make bellinis. Very delicious cheap Cupcake Prosecco. Little bit too delicious, Bigfoot quickly tipsy. Lone Jew arrive w gift: combination football/frisbee. Everything seem slightly make-believe. Football frisbee? Bigfoot Spouse notice Bigfoot father eating ancient pork tenderloin (dog training tool) from grimy old Ziploc. Everyone open gifts. Oooh, ahhh. Frown person frowning. Scene pretty much like this, but fewer people/less confetti.
All day, gifts-drinks-tipsy-swagging. Guessing cookies (it not Bigfoot place brag, but) Bubs so skilled now. Overhear authoritatively tell father no, those gingerbread men are seven. The doodads are six. Or this: Could you cut that a little bit smaller? I was thinking more like 30 grams. All day BG OK. Tipsy Bigfoot not kill anyone, grapes not kill dog. Christmas miracle.
Other miracle: Bubs receive proverbial dreaded gift: socks! But LOVE. You don’t mind that I gave you socks?
BUBS: I would, but THESE socks are AWESOME
This huge life improvement, because very (very) difficult find socks Bubs consider comfy. Only mention because so many (or two other) T1 children very selective re fabrics, clothing, tags, etc. Maybe this thin merino sock appeal other children?
Also meant say this: Merry Christmas! (If swing that way.) Hope BG #s allow sleep in heav-en-ly pea—eace, slee-eep in heavenly peace.
*It was fancy notecards




See that?? Smartwool wins again. Love Sierra Trading–I just scores 6 pairs at less than 4 a pair!!! So glad Bubs was happy!
Less than $4???? HELLO!
I actually ordered his in a 3-pack from Zappos, took them out of their wrappers (labelled “Women’s Small”). I think I’ll order 5 more from Sierra T!
This post was precious. I laughed out loud. It was the second time today. The first was when my cousin Tim told the story of how he chased a burglar out of his house and assaulted him with a fruitcake until the police arrived. Have a very merry Christmas and happy new year.
I’m looking for the fruitcake assault story on your blog now.
It isn’t there yet. I’m going to let my current posting stand for awhile. Check back some time tomorrow and it should be up. Thanks again.
Ben! Is it Christmas?
Please don’t draw Ben’s attention to this.
Merry Christmas! I loved the old porkchop story. That will be a favorite memory for years to come…?
I think we’ve talked about this before, but my son used to freak out about socks and shirt tags. He’s finally ok about them now, but for him it was a diet thing.
and now he’s all cute and comfy!
i can’t believe those socks are only $7.60!
that comment on teh sock price was NOT sarcasm. for merino wool??
thank you for clarifying. I was afraid.
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“phone ring. a jew.” – pure poetry
i bought my kid fluffy comfy socks with a rainbow pattern and a 3D unicorn head on the top and it was definitely in her top 3 gifts this year. i took a photo of her wearing them right after she opened them and it was the first photo of her with a sincere smile in YEARS.
WHO KNEW?