Everything Wrong = NBD

I took this picture of myself fake-biting my nails to illustrate my anxiety. I'm really more of a cuticle biter/picker/pusher/ripper.

I took this picture of myself fake-biting my nails to illustrate my anxiety. I’m really more of a cuticle biter/picker/pusher/ripper but that’s hard to get across in one iconic photo

Two wrongs not make right, but everything wrong maybe make.

7:30AM 95. Big morning bolus for normal oatmeal/maple syrup/milk breakfast: 6u.

8:30AM (It time drive school.) I’m hungry. That weird. Test: 350.

BIGFOOT: That’s weird. You’re super high. Could there be maple syrup on your fingers?

BUBS: (rubs fingertips to test for stickiness) I don’t think so. I think I…

BFOOT: Ooh. Did you enter the bolus for your breakfast?

BUBS: I don’t think so. I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!

BF: It’s my fault.

Explain I know you don’t like it when I hover over your pump, but we have to be more careful. (This not 1st time Bigfoot get too insulin-casual.) Bubs ashamed: I’m sorry! I’m an idiot! Etc. Bigfoot explain Bigfoot idiot. Then so wise, say “We’re not idiots, we’re just humans doing our best and this is how we learn.” (<–not actually say, but wish conjure equanimity for future.)

Eat small snack: one digestive biscuit. EzBG recommend 4.25u for 10g carbs (biscuit) + correction (hello). Bigfoot enter original 6u, because…wait, why do that again? Because think body not magically able metabolize carbs w/o full dose. But now think Bubs head for crash because insulin peak + carbs not line up correctly. Or think now…10g biscuit carbs not covered when already high…maybe should have been 7u. Or maybe should have been 4.25u as per EzBG, even though pump not know super blast oat/maple syrup carbs preparing emerge yonder belly.

Ugh. Drop off at school, Bubs cheerful, fine. Email nurse with could be high, could be low, very unlikely normal, yadda yadda, here what happen.

#1: I was imagining how angry I would be if someone other than me made this mistake; #2 is it insulting that I wasn't positive she would know the expression TMI? Kind of like writing our id est, but then at least you're making someone think you think they know Latin?

#1: I was imagining how angry I would be if someone other than me made this mistake; #2 is it insulting that I wasn’t positive she would know the expression TMI? Kind of like writing out id est, but then at least you’re making someone think you think they know Latin?

Meanwhile, notice not actually anxious. Know everything OK. Not fall into daydream/daymare of high BG dry out eyeball like raisin, not imagine glucose crystal rub artery like sandpaper. Not imagine ambulance blow past Bigfoot/emo dog while phone vibrate while get message ambulance for Bubs. Only imagine Bubs test snack time, correct high or low, or smile amazement if normal. Progress.

Meanwhile meanwhile, BG lately on good (wood knock) stretch, last night 4th consecutive sleep 6+ hours.

Breaking news!

Can you read this?

OMG

But wait–there’s more!

This is real. Lucky, lucky day.

This is real. Lucky, lucky day.

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11 responses to “Everything Wrong = NBD

  1. Check out my panic blog: http://www.mypanicjournal.wordpress.com I think it could really help! Great advice, tips, and my journey with panic and anxiety.

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  2. earthling

    Finally! Stupid (sacred, blessed, flowers petals under) pump + meter make accurate calculation with Bigfoot wise input. BF, Bubs so deserve. Happy sleep! Happy good basal! Earthling still make mistake, not like but happen. Not idiot, just human like BF say. Diabetes mean enough, not also beat up self.

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  3. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” <— makes me sad sad sad. Meanwhile, rockin' breaking news!

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  4. Sara

    So basically the less you worry (or pretend to worry less) the better the results are. Doesn’t quite seem fair.

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  5. It’s like in Bridget Jones how she says that garlic makes your breath stink, except that you can eat entire cloves of garlic and not have “stenchful” breath (her word, not mine). You make small mistakes and everything goes to hades, giant mistakes happen and somehow it’s fine. I was going to say What a relief! But I guess if you weren’t stressed, then relief isn’t the word. But how about thank goodness!

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  6. Eeek, I always hate seeing numbers like that and then it’s even worse waiting to see what happens! I did the same thing the other day, made lunch realized I hadn’t given bolas, went to find my kit, got distracted (cat scratching leather couch!) and ate lunch. Not long after maybe a little over half an hour Judah was bonking me with his nose and smacking me with his paw… (I couldn’t be THAT high I just gave insul…. shit!) And I’m 26 doing vial and syringe doses, you’d think that wouldn’t get by me but… oops!

    Of course my recovery from the big number wasn’t as graceful as Bubs! Ah, such is life!!

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