Solution

29. Or 53. Or 91. Or 61. Something like that.

Play chase with dog after dinner. Then hop in car. En route pool. I feel kind of low.

29.

BIGFOOT: You’re 29! That’s really low. But you seem to feel not so, so low

BUBS: Well, I feel kind of low

BIGFOOT: But 29? That would be, like, the lowest you’ve ever been, like, you’d be all juhjuhjuhjuhjuh shaky, sweaty, something would feel way off. And the screen says “control solution” at the bottom. Maybe that means we need to use control solution. Anyway, let’s test again

53.

BUBS: Should I drink this whole juice or just part of it?

BFOOT: Drink the whole thing

Next try test control solution. Verio IQ control solution beautiful shade Smurfblood blue. Test control solution v. healthy 104. How do you feel? (I’m fine.) Do you still want to swim? (If I’m allowed to.) Sure! Let’s go!

Say “Sure! Let’s go!” with best attempt breezy affect because try not be so chicken. 29/53 + Juice + Swim + 100g CHO tortellini dinner + 8u insulin, too many input. Brain not compute. Might as well swim since no idea what go on in that belly/blood**. No anchor. Tigers above, tigers below. Okay. Go.

Wait. Before pull out of driveway, while suck juice: 91. When arrive @pool 61. Offer juice. Awwww, don’t we have any glucose tabs? Bubs cheek cram three Glucolift, jump in pool.

Meanwhile time for new site. Sort of handy rewind/reload pump since pump off body anyway (swim). Bigfoot adore this type passive multitask. If only could simultaneously knit w toes…But wait. Who that? Loose association talkative swim patron notice Humalog vial from distance one Olympic length. Is that what I think it is? Humalog, is it? I used to be a pharmacy tech, before I was in the explosion. Yup! My spine is all metal, almost all of my abdominal muscle had to be removed, it was all…necrotic tissue. Know what kind of cheese I like? It’s eighteen dollars a pound…

Bigfoot continue flick air bubbles while listen and for only three weeks of the year you can get the Champagne grapes–have you ever had those?

BIGFOOT: (flick!) the tiny ones?

Man, are they good with the aged gouda–it’s expensive, but hey, it has been aged for six–SIX–years. It’s harder than a parmigiano reggiano. I had to have regular grapes today. Got them at the Whole Foods over on the East Side. They were big, but still very good. Very sweet. Hey. (Raises eyebrows, lowers chin, speaks w lockjaw) You have diabetes? No, my little boy. Excuse me for saying so, but I think you’re giving him way too much. I mean, that’s a huge injection. It would be, but this is for a pump. It’s not to use all at once. It lasts for days. Ha! Of course. I was going to say. Well. Does he have the, (eyebrows up, chin down, lockjaw) you know, the Juvenile diabetes? Yup. Aw, man. Dumb question. What was it going to be, (eyebrows/chin/jaw) little kid like that gets it from eating too much? Loose association person move on new topic of Halloween costumes (witch tip: striped stockings), how learn walk after explosion (rehab tip: swimming), terrible name for daughter would be (brow/chin/jaw) Mildred.

For record, Bigfoot like name Mildred. Cute nickname Milly or for goth could use Dready.

Loose association swimmer thinking Bigfoot inject Bubs entire 200u insulin cartridge bring thought back to this post. This where learn insulin overdose is (common? known? simple?) suicide method. That put guts in tight knot. Could also be for assisted suicide? Or…(brow/chin/jaw) murder? Never able see insulin same way. Bigfoot mean, always know dangerous, but never think of insulin intentionally dangerous.

Also: WTF Dreamy Meter? 29. Control Solution. 53. 91. 61. Bigfoot call Verio IQ customer service. Rep explain sorry, meter not working if display “control solution” in response child’s blood. Verio will FedEx new meter, new strips, new control solution. But it seems to be working fine now. I just wanted to know if it meant to tell me I should use the control solution–is it like a prompt? I mean, is there ever a time when it would display “control solution” and not be broken?

REP: Yes. While you are using the control solution

Oh.

It’s going to be something.

Bedtime, 97. Because running low earlier (even though meter broken) + swim, allow graham cracker (4g CHO)/peppermint tea bedtime snack.

Now try predict. Will it be

A. Shit! Of course I should have given him more to eat before bed–he’d been SWIMMING and he got a 29 from a semi-functional meter. Now I’ll be up all night dribbling Juicy Juice all over the bed

B. Shit! Of course I shouldn’t have encouraged him to eat a GRAHAM CRACKER after a huge carby dinner. Now I’ll be up all night trying to get this stupid number down

C. Shit! I stayed up all night for NOTHING

D. Should put happy solution for “D” but too crabby

**We do carry a spare One Touch Mini & One Touch strips, but it did not occur to me that this would be an appropriate time to use them.

Note for future: high at 11P, 1A, 3A.

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16 responses to “Solution

  1. Sara

    You’re the second person I’ve heard have that weird control solution issues. Glad you’re getting a replacement meter.

    Like

  2. Sometimes I hate overly talkative people, but then sometimes I realize I’m being that person. When I’m doing it, I think I am being friendly and passing the time. When other people do it they clearly have no sense of personal time/space.

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  3. Lisa

    OMG you capture that so beautifully!! Thank you!! My son is 11, dxd 2 yrs now and I love the part where you are trying to calculate everything at once! That is my brain!

    Like

  4. I also LOVE my verio IQ, but I don’t get to use it much because the strips are SO expensive (no insurance). After a doctor’s appointment I usually get samples and get to live “the good life” and use my verio iq for a few days :) . I love that it lights up so bright (so I don’t have to turn on the light and wake up Marshall for a late night test) and that I can label readings.

    And isn’t it “fun” when you get a wonky reading and you just can’t decide whether it’s right, close, or totally off base! Ugh! It’s always nice to have a back up meter but I, like you, often don’t think to use it, or don’t have strips around for it…

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  5. You are too cool. 29 would make me jahjahjahjah. I could not enjoy the strawberry but would enjoy tiny grapes at the Whole Foods. I’ve never had hard gouda but sounds delish with tiny grapes. There is no way to predict meter malfunctions, numbers, sleep or explosions. It’s all shit. <—–not loose association.

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    • This may be the *first time* I was able to use what all you other parents refer to as your “gut instinct”—he just seemed OK. That 29 can not have been right. That’s why I didn’t faint/puke/freak out.

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  6. Julia

    Yes, insulin used for murder in a number of famous cases, Von Bulow (acquitted). Serial killer nurse in England used insulin for the murder weapon. Only hear of it being used rarely; most people not aware of its power. And how to prove suicide as opposed to overdose? … I think most likely accidental overbolus, could forget you bolused for something and bolus twice, bolus and basal needs changing, too much exercise, just a tiny bit of alcohol, a little too much exercise. I, too, have come to the conclusion there is no way to adequately predict BG numbers (though you can get a pretty good guess for a lot of the time). You have to use your gut in the end. My thoughts run with E… a fairly low blood sugar, resulting in a rebound. Rebounds keep blood sugar high for hours as your liver keeps spitting out sugar and take a while to treat. Only guessing that because of the swimming, which, along with the trampoline = guaranteed overnight lows for us. So I will guess it was not the food, and certainly not a 5 gram graham cracker which should only raise blood sugar 25 points.

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    • I can’t thank you enough for mentioning the liver rebound–I was going to chalk the later-on highs up to a delayed-release tortellini carb bomb, which I didn’t want to do because this was a tortellini brand we have had good luck with in the past (“fresh,” “organic” tortellini with Mario Batalli’s signature instead of frozen Venda Ravioli tortellini.) Now I feel I can give that tortellini another chance. Thank you!

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  7. i’m with you, mildred is a FINE name. this exchange with that dude is so totally a short story waiting to happen.

    earlier this week we had the weird control solution thing happen! i should have pursued the anomaly but i did not! i guess if it happens again i’ll call them? or i should probably just call them since it happened once. jeez.

    there was an episode of risoli and isles (lol not the right spelling) that used an insulin pump as murder weapon but it was b/c they filled the victim’s pump with water instead of insulin so they went into DKA and died.

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  8. even knowing that the spelling is wrong, i have no idea what that is–a crime show? i want to see that episode, of course.

    if i’d had access to insulin as a teenager i am sure i would have killed my family. that might be an exaggeration. anyway, i am glad to know it is so lethal. but MY GOD!

    Like

    • it’s from season one and it’s called i kissed a girl. the only exciting part about it is seeing a pump on tv (see also that episode of men of a certain age where andre braugher goes on an insulin pump for his type 2).

      i think there was also a main plot point using insulin in that movie memento but it’s been ages since i watched it.

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