Rain rain rain. Tail end Hurricane Sandy pour down. However, earlier today, sun peek out. Smart friend facebook status: Shit. Does this mean Halloween’s back on?
Not possible Bigfoot agree more. Even li’l Bigfoot not like Halloween. (Except one year w. tinsel halo, white flannel nightie, paper towel taped each shoulder blade, & mascara = angel.) As parent, slightly like Halloween ages 0-4, when can dress unknowing child cute farm animal/lobster. Maybe if children enjoy creative/literary costumes, Bigfoot more enthusiasm. But now Jack slap on generic mask, Bubs simultaneous hate dress up/covet $80 storm trooper suit; Bigfoot/BSpouse eat too many Twix, feel sick.
Plus, of course, also, go without say, diabetes make candy holiday so much worse. Olden times Bigfoot ordinary crunchball fear high fructose corn syrup, GMO, artificial color, tooth decay. Now. Ugh. Everything fraught.
And so. While Hurricane Sandy still Jamaica, boys plan Haunted Disco Garage Halloween party. BSpouse acquire Just Dance 4 for XBox Kinect as thrilling party centerpiece. Some benefits this idea:
- Bubs, who has never liked Halloween, can happily take part by playing a video game in a garage instead of feeling like a freakishly reclusive, anxious troll
- Jack will spend less time gathering candy, reducing Bigfoot/BSpouse’s access to Twix
- Just Dance 4 requires a lot of energy*, i.e. glucose
- This is not a real party—we only mentioned it to a few friends in advance, and they are all close friends who won’t expect bacon-wrapped dates stuffed with gorgonzola, so it will be easy to execute
- It will be fun to see kids in masks dance to Flo Rida
- A friend loaned us a disco ball set
- I enjoyed a few brief flashes of “Check me out, dealing with a potentially bad situation in a creative way that could become a beloved community event!”
But when everything (hurricane) conspire cancel Halloween, Bigfoot happy. Feel like ahhhh. Now I get credit for being a nice mommy who agreed to have a party, but I don’t have to do any of the wretched things it entails:
- It’s rainy and branchy and leafy outside and I am warm and dry inside
- Moving the loppers, weed whacker, chain saw, bicycle shoes, bicycle pumps, kayak, and tarps out of the garage and into the…where? in the rain?
- Setting up twinkle lights up in the rain–>electrocution?
- Jack keeps thinking of more things we “need” like white balloons with glow sticks inside, and doughnuts to hang from strings from the rafters of the garage, and I am not sure we even have string
- Figuring out how to set up the Kinect thing with a projector and speakers seems impossibly complex
- Bubs insists he doesn’t want and will refuse to wear a costume, but if last year is any indication, he will change his mind at the last minute
- I could not find Hostess Snoballs for the Touch if You Dare troll warts, so I bought something called German Chocolate Cake marshmallows which should be tactile-ly wartish but–even sealed up in their package–have a strong Yankee Candle artificial coconut odor and so I dread opening this package.
Tonight go to sleep, brain twirl w. Halloween anxiety. Not just Haunted Disco Garage problem. Also this: some mini Twix 7g CHO, other mini Twix 11g CHO. Very difficult note difference at glance.
(Also I am afraid someone will want to eat the German Chocolate Cake marshmallows which I guess is the smallest of the world’s problems: someone might want to eat an artificially flavored marshmallow on Halloween.)