Why this not more fun? Sorry too heavy. Bigfoot crushing feeling on heart and brain—should be more fun. It life. Last night up all night for BG>300, not go down. Bigfoot, Bigfoot Spouse watch Bill O’Reilly/Jon Stewart debate 3AM-4:30AM. It not fun. Even plus side of use blood ketone meter not lift spirit.
Think Bubs sleep through traumatic night but recall everything: Daddy came and gave me a shot with a syringe and it HURT! Then you came in to change my site. Then Daddy came and changed it again! Then I could hear you watching something on your computer and I couldn’t fall asleep. Then you wouldn’t get up to make oatmeal.
Only fun part: pick up Eye Cookies for friend drop knife though foot. Bigfoot and Jack go to deliver Eye Cookies platter, no one home, leave on milk box, come back because afraid squirrels bust into package/ruin effect. Knife victim neighbor smoking cigar front lawn did you have the wrong house?
BIGFOOT: No, I just got anxious about squirrels breaking into the package (imagining Eye Cookies of squirrels on a cookie platter)
CIGAR MAN: Yeah, they’re rough
BIGFOOT: You wouldn’t be willing to keep these cookies in your house until they get home, would you?
CIGAR: Oh, no. I don’t think so. I’ve been trying to get a petition going to get your friends kicked out of the neighborhood
BIGFOOT: …(not sure he’s kidding)…
CIGAR: With all of their parties…bunch of swingers…and those three beautiful children—that should be a crime
BIGFOOT: (confident he’s kidding, walks toward him with the cookie platter)
CIGAR: No, no (waving with non-cigar hand) I can’t. My wife’s inside. With hospice care. I can’t imagine bringing cookies in there
BIGFOOT: (trying to imagine a hospice Eye Cookie) I am so sorry
CIGAR: Don’t be! It was nice talking to you
Lately Bubs low. So try -10% temp basal. Seem pretty good. Decrease basals for real. Seem right. Until last night persistent high. But maybe because bad site. Now low again. Low again w 30g CHO freebie snack incl. apple cider. Uneasy. Picture this phase in Eye Cookies: meter display “49,” apple cider w/ striped straw, bloody finger, syringe.
After Ryan S. die, even though not know Schuhmachers for real, begin little bit obsession. Imagine how same situation unfold for Bigfoot. Begin fear lose health insurance. Decide need find legit job for back-up health insurance in case spouse die. Then seem not even illegit job remain. Then imagine run out money. Then low BG. Then realize impossible find/start legit job when so tired, when need special school hours + freedom leave work for fix pump/sites/bubbles/batteries. Then apply money-save strategy of purchase $18 toilet paper BJ’s, get 4 free box Puffs sans lotion, even though everyone prefer lotion type. Then high BG. Then Bill O’Reilly/Jon Stewart debate. Nothing bring imaginary dead husband back—even w living spouse beside Bigfoot, feel afraid for health insurance. Then try look up rules and laws pension/death benefits. Find nothing nice.
So, so tired. Know only sleep restore sanity/brain function/optimism/possibility fun. Maybe sleep during school tomorrow? That not really fit in with idea of find legit job. Ideally would have job 15+ years, able nap under desk, no one notice.
Very feeble attempt fun: candy corn for low BG.
BUBS: I don’t even like candy corn
JACK: I like it! Can I put some in my lunch?
Meanwhile, read this sentence somewhere: when you see me, be sure to compliment me on my sweater; that will give me the momentum to continue to exist.