Kill before betrayal

The guy on my kachunker/site change bag looks pissed.

School nurse call. While ago, Bubs think low. 294. Correction bolus. 319 before recess, 1 hour later. I thought you should know.

Although sure endocrinologist would say one hour not enough time determine if correction working…Bigfoot pedal to school, same time Bubs merrily dance down hallway, converge at lobby, enter office together. Another child in office, doing something with Arm & Hammer baking soda and paper cup. Nurse kick baking soda child out. You can come back in a few minutes. Okay, honey?

When Bubs pull down pants little bit for site change, Bigfoot hope nurse not looking. Even though really like nurse. Regular child bum no big deal. Little bum covered speckles medical injury feel too personal, too fragile. Parent eyes only.

Rewind pump. Change insulin cartridge. Meanwhile Nurse chatting Bubs, “Soon you’ll only have to wear a thing like a watch, and that will do all of this for you automatically.”

BUBS: Oh, no. I’d hate that—would it warn me before it poked? Or would it just be like CLICK! AAAAGH

NURSE: There won’t even be a poke. It’ll just be able to measure your glucose through your skin

BUBS: (Shrugs)

BIGFOOT: Like with vapors?

NURSE: And anyway, soon there will be a cure. Definitely in your lifetime. That’s a sure thing

The site that betrayed me.

Bigfoot similar: confident cure soon. But wonder why nurse think so. Not usually medical person make cure statement. Imagine online nook diabetes world never seen, except by this nurse. Pull off old site–no angry pink/red/humpy, no kink, but little bit seepage clear-ish blood-ish fluid—white zinfandel of body fluid. Quease.

Know site malfunction rooted in desire cling. Bigfoot wish keep this site forever: two consecutive nights gorgeous performance: asleep 102, awake 113. For example. Wake up, feel million buck. Why site suddenly quit? Too old. Site give up. Fill w. white zinfandel. Everything ephemeral. No use cling.

Nurse call again hour after site change, Bigfoot not include pretzel sticks on carbs list. Srsly? Every day write salami zero, cheese zero, pretzel sticks twenty, granola bar fourteen…

BIGFOOT: Sorry, the pretzels are twenty

NURSE: And he’s down to 201, so the new site seems to be working fine

BIGFOOT: Oh goody

Whenever something start working, feels like ease into cool water on hot day. Such relief. No more feel agitated, feel like I think I’ll make a peanut butter and jam sandwich and read Malcolm Gladwell’s article about Jerry Sandusky. Must remember: not grow too fond this infusion site, even if BG in sweet spot 70-120 48 full hours. After 48 hours kill it. Remember. Quit while functional.

Yesterday read Gary Scheiner’s column DiaTribe newsletter, about two ways diabetes ruins a life. Bigfoot definitely more toward 2nd sort of ruined. Probably every parent in online community same.

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8 responses to “Kill before betrayal

  1. I hope there is a cure soon. Tears welled up in my eyes when you wrote about not wanting the nurse to see his site scars. I want to write that it’s not fair that kids have to handle such big problems, but of course it isn’t and nobody ever said it would be. But they become so strong and brave.

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  2. NicoleP

    It actually bothers me when medical professionals start talking so confidently about a cure. I know that probably sounds weird, but for a long time, I’ve heard that from med professionals – as far back as the early 80s… And I guess I feel like, in the end, it has dashed my hopes more than bolster them (because, like “when” are they gonna actually be right??) if that makes any sense…. And as for Gary’s article, yup, I’d fall more toward #2. That balance is as delicate as the bloodsugar balance, isn’t it?

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    • Yes, I’ve noticed the more experienced D-people are much more skeptical of a cure…while the newcomers get excited about every lead! I’m more excited about the bionic pancreas than a cure.

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      • Sara

        The autoimmune response is so complicated (like why DID my body decide to attack my pancreas and what’s to prevent it from attacking the “cure”) that I am definitely in the club of excitement for better technologies.

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  3. I feel sort of like Nicole. Better treatments are usually spoken of rather than the big C word – Cure. Seems weird to talk about it to give Bub false hopes

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  4. Pam

    I’ve see the white zinfandel ooze too…and now will never look at it (or a glass of pink wine) the same way.

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  5. but it’s so tempting to leave in a good site as long as it’s working b/c the next one could be a bust. i fel ya sister. also totally on the second way to muck things up in gary’s article for sure.

    lol @ cranky bear from blueQ.

    Like

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