Pretzel Spill

The nurse provided a juice box. It was lukewarm apple and mostly rejected for tasting like pee.

Today Bubs exit school all droopy. I feel low.

Test w. meter from emergency Spibelt: 61.

Bigfoot Glucolifts in bicycle basket. Bubs put three in mouth at one time (this ridicuous! Glucolift big–same size vintage Harris Tweed coat button–impossible eat three in one small mouth) start ride bike direction home, cheeks bulging.

BIGFOOT: Whoawhoawhoa. Let’s sit in the shade and recover. It’s not safe to ride yet. Wouldn’t it feel good to rest?

BUBS: I’m fine (through mrrfle mrrffle) (bc Glucolifts)

BFOOT: But you know you have to rest and make sure your number goes up before you start riding

BUBS: (furious) Please. I’m leaving. I just want to go home, can’t you hear me?

BF: Well, before we go, I need to stop in to see the nurse, to make sure she has enough of all of your supplies (<—it so smooth/clever stalling tactic)

BUBS: (still pissed) Fine

As walk into building, turn back see Bubs wheel bicycle to shady picnic table. Enter building, peek in say hello to kind nurse, wait in huge crowd of bussers get back out through door, back over to Bubs. I feel really really sick.

Bigfoot put arm around, try give hand little squeeze. Bubs put helmet head on lap. Total slump. Fingers look little bit waxy? Let’s retest you.

BUBS: I want grilled cheese. And I won’t test and I won’t eat anything else until I have a grilled cheese. Please. I need grilled cheese

BIGFOOT: You’re shaking. I’m worried. You might be even lower

BUBS: I’m not shaking. I’m only quivering

BIGFOOT: Let’s retest

BUBS: I’m not quivering because I’m low. I’m quivering because I’m sad and I feel sick, and I’m trying not to cry. Can’t you even understand that?

Somehow retest: 64. This about ten minutes after 61. Should be higher, no? Eat shaggy old Mentos from emergency kit. Helmet head Bubs slump back over into Bigfoot. I need grilled cheese.

Retest ten minutes later, 99. Kind nurse stop by picnic table on way home. Say so, so nicely I am not angry at you at all, but I wish you had stopped in the office before leaving school! We care about you! Bubs look at lap. Bigfoot and nurse discuss why low. Agree often not able determine reason, even though reason exist. Bubs chime in I think I know.

NURSE: What do you think?

BUBS: Well, at lunch this kid knocked the pretzels I was eating all over the floor, so I ate hardly any of them

NURSE: And those were pretty much the only carbs you were having with lunch! I’m so glad you figured that out and said something. Listen, if that ever happens again, just stop by and tell me. We’ll figure something out. I’ll always be able to find something you can eat to make up for spilled pretzels

BUBS: (smiles, nods)

Nom nom nom.

Now Bubs so cheerful you know what’s weird? When I’m low, all I want to eat is grilled cheese. Like I mean if you gave me a choice between a regular grilled cheese sandwich and a big delicious piece of cake, I’d choose the sandwich. Isn’t that crazy? Chatty, happy, planning sleepover, asking Will Jacky be home when we get there? Will he be so worried when we’re not there? Did you know I only have one page of homework and no math? all ride home.

Home, Bigfoot bad news: no sandwich bread. Offer processed vegan chicken puck, classic favorite. Yum! Yes! May I possibly have two? Cheerful Bubs so agreeable now. 221. Can I also have an apple? Is there any lemonade? Thank you so much! This all looks so delicious! Aren’t these chicken pucks so good? Don’t you want a bite?

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8 responses to “Pretzel Spill

  1. Sara

    Does Scott Johnson know about this grilled cheese obsession? I think that if Scott could eat only grilled cheese for the rest of his life, he would be perfectly happy.

    Like

  2. Nicolep

    I crave two things when I’m low. Peanut butter and chocolate and grilled english muffins with lots of butter. Very weird! Glad you figured this one out and that Bubs went back to cheerful… :)

    Like

  3. Dangit! Sara beat me to it! Arg!

    Total sign of genius.

    Like

  4. your new nurse sounds awesome. :)

    Like

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