Fury

REJECTED: Somewhere between last night and 8AM, adorable sandwiches of Cheez-it and peanut butter got kicked off of the irresistible snacks list. 2g CHO each.

Wake up 65, ready eat breakfast. Deep breath. First up: 8g CHO restorative juice. Roll right into 34g CHO food. Bigfoot Spouse decide wait for bolus until after eat, enter 65 for BG, 42 total carbs. Get significantly reduced dose for low BG. That seem fine.

One Phineas y Ferb later, Bubs hungry again. Time for school OK something quick: cracker peanut butter? Chocolate milk? Nahhh, I only want toast. Not have bread. I guess I don’t need anything then. Sure not want chocolate milk? (Bigfoot think so generous offer.) No, I don’t really want anything. Hug dog goodbye. Get on bike. Cheerful.

On ride (< 1 mile), crazies begin. Why are you so mean to me? Get away from me!

BIGFOOT: (to Bubs’s back) Are you sure you don’t mind riding by yourself?

BUBS: (loops around on bicycle) Oh, and by the way…(punches Bigfoot bicycle basket)

BIGFOOT: (to Bubs’s rapidly departing back) Hey, okay. I’m sure you’ll be okay

BUBS: (loops around on bicycle) If I weren’t on a bike, I’d KICK you (pedals off into the distance)

BIGFOOT: Okay. I’m going back home. I’ll walk Butter, so I’ll be right here on the street if you need me

BUBS: (yelling) I don’t care!

BFOOT: You sure you know they way to go, which side to ride on?

BUBS: (loops around on bicycle) I’m sorry Mommy! I’m sorry! Please will you still ride with me?

BFOOT: Sure

I took this picture before I learned that taking a picture indicates that you hate the person in the picture and are a jerk.

As begin ride together, Bubs switch back to Why are you so mean to me? You’re always taking my picture and I HATE it. It’s because you hate me. Why do you always have to be such a jerk? I hate you and I hate Daddy and I hate Butter. Jacky is the only one who’s ever nice to me.

Bigfoot just listen, realize must be BG issue, because so irrational say Jacky nicest. Get almost to school before tirade end. Bubs begin make left turn, Bigfoot say whhhhhoa there’s a car. Car (maybe driven by friend?) stop in time, not too drama, not screech brake, but Bubs obviously careless. Bigfoot mouth SORRY! in direction driver seat, difficult see though tinted window. Pedal rest of way bike rack not talk. Bigfoot stand under tree near bike rack. Think how suggest check blood sugar without piss off more. Wait see if Bubs come over for hug/parting insult.

Bubs come for hug, ask for help fit helmet in backpack. Bigfoot ask why don’t we do a quick sugar check over at the picnic table? Approach gingerly. Feel like try feed wild rat small crouton, but less disgusting + more necessary. Bubs acquiesce. I’m sorry Mama. At picnic table, Bubs test but get Error message. Oh boy. Pink One Touch Mini really asking for it! Bubs try throw meter, Bigfoot catch before hit ground. (Skillz.) Fine! I’m never going to test again! Forget it! Storm off toward school entrance. Cross crosswalk without wait for crossing guard OK signal. Hear crossing guard say, “Good morning! Next time make sure you wait for my signal before crossing, okay?” See Bubs trudge into building, head down, angry shoulders.

Bigfoot Choose Your Own Adventure* story include:

1. Go into building too, suggest visit nurse for BG check (but since he’s already pissed off at me, that might enrage him, and he might yell at me in front of his classmates, and then be embarrassed forever and/or get a reputation for being a public freaker-outer)

2. Call nurse, ask nurse visit Bubs before class begin for BG check (but that might turn him against the new nurse, also might give the nurse a bad impression that will haunt him all year)

3. Trust Bubs will ask help if feel low (even though riding his bike in front of a car and crossing the school driveway without following the crossing guard’s rules demonstrate a lack of self-care?) and if grouch because high, nurse will catch at normal 10AM-ish pre-snack check

Bigfoot choose #3.

It’s a wash? He missed 1/2 hour of class, but learned to feel low and ask for help in a new school.

10AM nurse email.

MORAL OF STORY COULD BE: a diabetic child who is hungry for toast in a house with no toast should be strongly encouraged to choose a different food.

OR: a hypoglycemic child who is feeling crummy will eventually ask for help and it is okay to back off and let them figure it out

OR: don’t roll right into breakfast with a BG under 70

OR: don’t include the restorative juice in the carb count, even for an EzBG

OR: please be less dumb

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25 responses to “Fury

  1. OMFG, this post is like a cliffhanger.

    Zoe went low in the antique mall on Sunday. She went off for five minutes about how antiques are disgusting and she started flipping the pages of a book like way too hard. I recommended that she do a check and I thought she was going to bludgeon me with antiques milkglass.

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  2. Katie

    What a bummer of a morning- Glad he is learning new independent skills though! and you’re not dumb- diabetes just hard, and being the bad-guy is harder.

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  3. mollyjade

    This makes me want to call my mother and apologize!

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  4. Reyna

    Ohhh … You r so good. I think he and I woulda got in some sort of showdown over checking. I need to back off. (((hugs))) sounds like a rough morning.

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  5. Linda

    You are Angelic, IMO. There’d have been a “NOW SEE HERE” moment right there on the sidewalk, were it I. Bubs is lucky! Nor would I have had the wisdom to let it play out. Good job! Bigfoot brilliant, not dumb. When I was a young diabetic and got low while busy/active, I would eat a Wha Guru Chew bar (http://whaguruchew.com/Products.htm) and it always did the trick. Not sure why. Delicious durable carbs.

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    • We went to a children’s cognitive behavior therapist who specializes in anxious T1 kids! She taught me that when he is freaking out, I have to just sit with the discomfort and not take any action, because it will escalate his anxiety and make everything worse. She said to say things like, “Wow, I can tell you’re really upset. I’m just going to sit here quietly for a minute until we feel like we know what to do,” and stuff like that. I think for him it works. Even though I’m feeding him a therapy line that isn’t natural for me at all.

      Then later in the day when he is calm and asks for XYZ, I can say, “no, you can’t play minecraft (or whatever) because of how you punched my bicycle basket and threatened to kick me earlier today,” and he can cry and say he’s sorry, and then read a book or play with Legos for a while, and then I let him do whatever he wants, because by then he seems like a completely different person.

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      • LInda

        So cool. Again, Bubs is so lucky! I love that there is someone who knows what to do to help both you and Bubs to navigate such mine-strewn territory. And that it works. Beautifully done, Bigfoot.

        Also, thanks for sharing that. I have grown kids about to have their own kids and so I am a sponge for good grandmotherly advice. Much as I hope it won’t happen, they could easily find themselves momming/dadding a T1 child like me. And thanks for all you share, generally. Very helpful and interesting. <3

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  6. At least his personality change is consistent and seems to foretell the same information every time: he’s high or low. I definitely would not have handled it as well as you: I would have been all “oh no you don’t hit my bike basket when you’re mad!” which, of course, would have just made the situation worse. Does he understand what the personality change means? He seems aware of it enough to apologize to you.

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    • He’ll say, “wow, sorry I was so unreasonable back there,” but it’s like he’s remembering someone else’s whacked out behavior. I guess I do the same kind of thing to my husband, and probably used to do it to my mom. (I.e. lash out at the person you know will forgive you and who you trust to know you don’t really mean it.) (???)

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  7. Sara

    Totally not medical advice BUT it is this one: “OR: don’t include the restorative juice in the carb count, even for an EzBG” :D

    And yeah, our brain is not working when we are low so any reasoning with us would not actually work anyway.

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    • And still put the pre-juice BG? Or calculate the carbs–minus the juice–using the I:C ratio and a neutral blood sugar number? I didn’t want to lie to the pump, but considered telling Joe to put in a 100BG and the post-juice carbs. Would that have been better?

      I really need help.

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      • Linda

        In the ‘ezCarb’ screen just put in the carbs for the meal, beyond what you gave to correct the low. Then scroll past the ‘add BG’ part and click OK on show result…. Pump assumes BG is ok and just shows what the new food requires. Would that work?

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  8. ours meep-meeps when we skip the BG, like a punishment noise. but then, sure enough, it lets us leave it blank. thanks, linda! and MOW!

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  9. Julia

    Yes, that….. Don’t include the restorative juice in the carb count. Not dumb question; you are still relatively new to this; endo should have drilled that one in. I would have guessed the angry behavior due to a high also and might have foregone a test. Moral of the story is do make him test, but have him test before he reaches school so if he has a meltdown it will only be witnessed by you. But testing so soon after breakfast probably wouldn’t have caught the low anyway. May or may not have given you enough info to figure out the IOB. You may not have been able to figure out the low was going to hit until 1.5 hours after eating. And, toast is a good food for low BS, maybe with jam, no butter; the saliva breaks down bread to glucose right in your mouth. So it’s a crapshoot… sometimes your guess or intuition works; sometimes it’s off. You are doing a great job overall; stop second guessing yourself.

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    • So–making sure I’ve got this: DON’T INCLUDE the restorative juice, and ALSO DON’T INCLUDE the low BG #. Right?

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      • Linda

        Sounds right to me. That’s what I would do for myself. Amn’t a doctor though.

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      • Thank you. I feel more confident now.

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      • Sara

        Not medical advice:

        I DO include the low BG because my endo does look at my Ping logs and wants me to have my BGs recorded there. I DON’T include the restorative carbs. I try to take a close look at the math on the last screen when it tells me how much of the bolus is IOB and how much is a negative correction for the low BG and continue to add or subtract from the bolus as necessary. Unfortunately I think bolusing is more of an art than a science.

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      • dang, woman! that’s advanced. i don’t think my endo looks at the ping’s records because i haven’t figured out the diasend yet. i can’t thank you enough for explaining it to me. as you know, i take every bit of your not medical advice to heart!

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  10. “Approach gingerly. Feel like try feed wild rat small crouton, but less disgusting + more necessary.”

    i related so hard to everything in this post and was very impressed by your restraint. i loved what you said in that comment about following up with it later. thanks for sharing all this, it helps me a lot.

    Like

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